quite chamomile and loud simmering

Here’s the tea,

Surrounding yourself around chaos but yet you pray for calmness
but when life becomes free of turmoil where does all that fun go?

preparing to hit the trigger for their next target
but hey please don’t point that trigger at me tho

Preaching about being kind but when are you going to show that
kindness to me tho?

Being the target for someones truth or dare games because I was seen as “ugly”

When your value is based on only being able to answer:
“what’s the farthest you’ve gone with a guy, 1st base, 2nd base or 3rd” because wow I didn’t know this was a game of baseball

I think I need some alcohol living just stings a little, but hey don’t forget the isopropyl for the wounds ey

Heartbreaks over little breaks but hey you win some and you lose some
Except I think I lost, the biggest heartbreak was the one where I broke my own, not the heartbreaks that people put me through

I hear the blues playing, I grew learning to fear myself, but how do I just be myself?

Is the silence too loud for you or do you need the loudness to be silenced?

Why

Why is your touch
So sweet

But your smell
Is horrid

Cigarettes
Their smell

Was never meant
To enter my lungs

Yet here we are

Little do you know
My dear

That I scrub myself
To get rid of the stench

Every time you go
I question myself

I question why
Why I beckon you back

When we rest together
The scent isn’t there

When you’re gone, everything you’ve touched must be washed

Isopropyl alcohol
I find it does the trick

An hour long shower
Before I rid my skin of it

You reek of sickness
Yet I want your touch

I want your embrace

Was I too hasty?
Did I make a mistake?

When you leave
I’m left with a mess

Spirits and odors that cling
To my clothes and skin