in order of me to finally leave, i need to fall out of love with the world, my love is nostalgic and it cuts skin, i threw it away for peace, it was disturbing my routine, i hate how much i need, it how much i can't leave it, but feeling like i need to, because days are death in this place, but death has always been lovely, it's sickening to be alive and bored, i prefer fear, i prefer school days the endless loop of friendly abuse, of looking in their eyes and them never looking at me, it was familiar and unpredictable, ******* fun, why is chaos fun, why, why, oh god, i want it all around me, i want it inside me, shaky hands, no breath left from crying, cutting my skin with hairdresser scissors, laughing like a maniac in the middle of the night, drinking until i pass out, i smell *****, it goes everywhere, coming to get me, voices are coming to get me, with their words, how healthy and happy i need to be, and to that i spit  in your face and cry about it later, because you are right, but i am not right, the world isn't for me, so i need to stop loving it and just go.

life with out you was better
your like a night mare that won't go away
why won't these feelings fade?
I lied to my self for you
ignored myself for you
what did you do for me?
make me hate myself....
made me think the knife could help me
made me feel like the earth didn't need me
made me depressed and sad like you
are you happy now?I'm like you now mad at the world....

Muchmuchomuchas confucious

is you us o is we you?
dobedobedoo

Save the world s cient ology
al re
ye wit me?
witness, will ye, that we
are in coexistant
realms
realms real by de
finition re
cognition

occult cult occham snip, nope
occult mistook as meaning some cultic
occasion for
relegare regularityifity

imagine how now became
imagine next
coming only to be as you see.

-----
Today, too, sunny valley sounds

crows, dogs, pumps, motors, wheels

wheels in wheels wee blind tinkerers
see
as seers do. You see. Imagine seeing.

why would you, if you could, or can, but won't?
How could you?
Having never seen,
why willt thou carry care past.... here

NO INTERUPTION ... clear, like on TV
Emerging seeing afar off
flatline eeeeeee

           Boss, the last empty slate just broke.
Just is is done, what's next?
We gotta phor mit no meta, y'see?

Watch. Dis

assemble a semblance of a seven jewel ba-alanced,
self-winding (i.e. gravity variable pendulum)
watch. See,

plumb damstraight, toothed wheels, within wheels.

life's life measured.

the unmeasured life ain't a life,
it's a once, upon a time.

No bonds to lies let live for lack of knowledge,
people perish for lack of knowing.
lack of knowing knowables, free knowables,

ask and receive, if ye be con ceptual, right,
in ye'right mind.
"what good ken ye do?"

Know truth is.
That will, that very will to be right,
free will will roll you here, true rest.
Today.

Trust this peace is sufficient unto the evil.
If it were not true, what could I do
good?

No judges? No test? We pasts are free, we may
stir things from the dregs?

Aha, and we stand!, Sistere!

It worked. Patience worked, as always.

Hidden in tranquility it plessures my mind. Peacefull and obscure just the echoes of my thougths. No sound no interuption just the spark of the dark , it fills my heart with wondering plots. What to do, what to say on the upcoming day but this little spark distracts me so in plain white my mind stays no thougths no plans just me and the serenity and gaze of the spark. I dont ask for ligth for this is the only need, some peace and quiet shadowed and unseen. The ligth is too brigth and it hurts my eyes not to mention the noisy people at dayligth witch if I havent mentioned I despise. Morning birds are the devils crys I prefer the owls the nigths spys, all I need is the sparks dark shine to make this moment torn twine with I. Just meditation it and I no ligth just this exeption of this spark and its ligth shine.

Call me a N-lover.
And you'll soon dicover why?
Does it bother you?
That I admire being a N-lover.

Ask yourself?
What's wrong with being nice?
I'm simply proud to be.
Even, if my kindness makes you an enemy.

People lives according to perception.
And in our lives.
We adhere to instructions.

Especially when mean-ness creates an interuption.

People notice you when you're being respectful.
Just  like they notice you when you're being rude.
So, if I'm a N-lover.
Then that I'll be.

More folks in society.
Should adapt this same qualities.

You ever wish the rest of the world would forget you exist? Get some time to yourself, get some time to just think. Without interuption, and no obligations. The worries of life left behind. It would just be you and your mind. To dissect the problems that plague your own thoughts, first thing you must disconnect. Escape from it all, and base who you are on the fact that your fully unique. No one can be you so own it and be cool with the fact that life has to end. Live in the moment experience and grow up so one day you can pass on, your treasures your medals and all of your special things you acquired in time.  But more than the gold and things you can hold pass on the way that you are. Plant seeds that will grow until they are old so one day they will plant their own seeds. Then in a way you never leave.