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Evie Aug 15
they scream in guilt

i respond in silence

they hear rage

i hear red compulsions

they leave

my skin is now crying

all i wanted was a hug

you *******
Evie Jun 14
in order of me to finally leave, i need to fall out of love with the world, my love is nostalgic and it cuts skin, i threw it away for peace, it was disturbing my routine, i hate how much i need, it how much i can't leave it, but feeling like i need to, because days are death in this place, but death has always been lovely, it's sickening to be alive and bored, i prefer fear, i prefer school days of endless black holes and friendly abuse, of looking in their eyes and them never looking at me, it was familiar and unpredictable, ******* fun, why is chaos fun, why, why, oh god, i want it all around me, i want it inside me, shaky hands, no breath left from crying, cutting my skin with hairdresser scissors, laughing like a maniac in the middle of the night, drinking until i pass out, i smell *****, it goes everywhere, coming to get me, voices are coming to get me, with their words of wisdom, how healthy and happy i need to be, and to that i spit all the ***** in your face and cry about it later, because you are right, but i am not right, the world isn't for me, so i need to stop loving it and just go.
im just tired of everything it never goes away always comes back and nobody gives a **** not even me
No one remembers Manny the monkey except for me, he was for a long time.a comfort, he
constantly clung to me, sometimes he'd strangle me, most times just hang off my back.

and Manny was friendly. too friendly,

in the end he
had to go,
  Mar 27 Evie
when a poet falls in love with you
you can never die
they will notice the way
you rub your palms and look down
when someone is angry at you
and the way you smirk
as you pull away from a kiss

they will notice how you can't sleep
without your body touching someone else's
how you never crease any pages of books
and how you close your eyes when you dance in your kitchen
with your record player on

they will find all of the words
that they see you as
and turn them into something beautiful

people say you die twice
once when you stop breathing
and when someone says your name
for the last time

if you fall in love with a poet
they will never stop
mentioning your name
you will be alive
for eternity
Evie Mar 27
today i washed the dishes
but now im sad
i finished a painting
but now im still sad
i took a shower
while i was sad
i went for a walk
walking sadly
i lay in my bed
looking sad
i guess no matter what i do
im going to be sad
Evie Mar 17
may i ask
who gave you the right
to have such power
to ruin my body
to wear my skin
******* freak
stop stuffing my face
you ******* freak
recently its all been blurred
like did you put something in my drink
while i was pretending looking away
i feel so distanced
life feels so unreal
i look in the mirror
i see you impostor
blurred vision making it almost seem like
this is me
a ******* freak
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