"heidi" poems
Small and insignificant...
Inferior.
Insecure and shameful...
Clumsy.
Weak and sad...
Molested.
Unremarkable and transparent...
Mundane.
Unlovable and ugly...
Hated.
Remedial and simple...
Stupid.
Angry and jealous...
Loathsome.
Lovesick and lonely...
Desperate.
Sick and Tired...
Old.
Unstable and self-destructive...
Insane.
Vulnerable and trusting...
Suicidal.
Hopes and dreams...
Deteriorating.
Smiling and Laughter...
Remedy.
Heidi Shavill
2008
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 3:59 AM UTC
I dedicate these words to you,
my saving grace you've pulled me through...
Hopefully, I finally can repay,
all the amazing gifts that you have brought my way...
Smile for me,
I know each one...
Moved to tears, I am, watching you with your son,
Gram know's what I see inside,
among the love you fight to hide...
I love your lips,
my **** man...
MacGuyver, I'm your biggest fan,
You try to keep me at arms length...
I admire all your inner strength.
I've learned from you the truth of things,
then you've helped me through the pain truth brings...
My darkest days, you shine your light,
Remember when we laughed all night?
You are a funny mother ******
your my lollipop, and I'm your sucker...
Because of you, I'm not alone,
when I'm with you, no matter where, I'm home...
I'm grateful for the time you spend,
with me...
You are truly my best friend.
Heidi Shavill
2009
Feb 5, 2013
Feb 5, 2013 at 5:08 AM UTC
**Fight to make your presence known
Fight to make something your own
Fight to stand up to the wrong
Fight to sing one more song
Fight to end up at the top
Fight to make bad **** stop
Fight because it’s what you’re told
Fight, be fierce, strong and bold
Fight for rights you think we need
Fight to stay awake and read
Fight to always give your all
Fight back every time you fall
Fight from looking in too deep
Fight depressions need for sleep
Fight for children in foster homes
Fight the fear you’ll die alone
Fight as if today’s your last
Fight to persevere your past
Fight to see your grandkids birth
Fight to the death for mother Earth
Fight back tears and wear a smile
Fight the urgency and stay awhile
Fight for fun or relieving stress
Fight for whatever you think is best
Fight because they struck you first
Fighting your best friends the worst
Fight to improve yourself bit by bit
Fight belifs that you'll fail at it
Fight for you and all you are
Fight the darkness; brilliant star
Fight thoughts that you’re not enough
Fight their hatred with undying love
Heidi Shavill 2013
**
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 3:12 AM UTC
I stood over the sink
Scrubbing our negroni glasses
Wishing the ginger-scented soap
Would wash away the cancer
Because the chemo didn’t work
I was wearing eyeliner
When I first met you
We’d laugh about that later
Over a bottle of wine
And patatas bravas
We always had our weekends
Movie dates and inside jokes
We would guffaw at the
Fuckery of it all
My god your laugh
How it filled a room
I remember when you said
“I love you, Christopher…
because you just GET ME”
You expressed appreciation
For how I carved out time
For our friendship
I reminded you,
“I don’t carve out time for you,
I shove everything away while
screaming ‘I NEED MY HEIDI TIME!’”
*********
I need my Heidi time
For years you were
The most consistent thing in my life
Always there for one another
We were each other’s touchstones
I realize this now more than ever
During my weekends spent alone
Wine tastes different now
Something’s missing
Going to the movies feels strange
It’s like the hero has
Left the frame
Remember when I smoked cigarettes?
You’d *** a drag as we crept
Through early evening traffic
On our way to get gelato
Or if we were feeling sassy
Maybe an affogato
I switched to vaping
When you went into hospice
Then back to menthols
When your spirit left this world
I’m addicted to our memories
More than the nicotine
They bang around my head
Like a song or a scent
Nostalgic
And
Lingering
You tattooed
“CEDENDO VINCES”
On your wrists
“By yielding, you will win”
My finger traced those words
While I held your hand
Last breaths
But what are deaths?
Transitions
Energy
Shifting
A spark
Returning
/ / /
Those letters live
On my wrists now
A reminder of her
The sister I never had
And sometimes
I still hear her laugh
Sep 25, 2022
Sep 25, 2022 at 3:47 PM UTC
A touch of velvet, like angel
Feathers brushing against my
Face, I feel your fingers caress my
Features like an artist, you know the
Contours of my face.
I love you my
Darling, your love
I embrace.
Fists like barbed wire across my
Cheek, grazing my skin as a
Droplet like a tear falls from
My face.
You scratch at me like razors
On flesh, across my skin and face,
Your voice of rage distorts the
Beauty in your face, no love can
Be heard behind this rage.
I cant take this cold to hot
And in-between, I never
Know which person I'm speaking
to when I look at your face.
I love you, but I must leave, I
Cant take this Jade and heidi
Personallity, I dont know who
Is going to speak, know that
I love you, but now I must leave
This love. And you must face your
Demons before it is to late.
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 8:30 AM UTC
Addiction,
you have sent me reeling
headlong over feet
I sneak around and lie for you,
it’s important that I’m discreet
So nothing comes between us,
cause I need you around
You pick me up we dance,
twirl,
spin,
right before you knock me down
Addiction are you angry?
I feel strongly that you are
I scream at you
“DON’T LEAVE ME”
I wear your tell-tale scars
I mainline this cyanide
through my eager veins
Twisted sick compulsion
needles stabbing
kills my pain.
Devouring any hopeful dreams
that I could one day be
Someone to be cherished,
loved and truly happy
When I was ten he pushed you in,
hoping I wouldn't tell
Now we are inseparable,
depravity is where we dwell
Trust me I don’t want to feel this ****
so I stay high
Until the day comes to pass
when I don’t want to die.
Heidi Shavill
2013
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 7:34 AM UTC
Heidi
I fell in love with you at the age of 15, and I remember how I rode my bicycle
The 4 miles across town almost every day that summer, two and a half years ago
How much effort I put in to make the 40 minute ride over, just to come visit you
Heidi
I remember your friends and they were nice at first, until your best friend Jaina
Thought the word ***** was a part of everyday language and I realized
She wasn't even good for much except putting people down and going outside to smoke
Heidi
I remember the stories you told me about them and how you said you felt obligated
To take care of them, and that they meant a lot to you, how you loved them
For their silly jokes and shenanigans and just the fact that they were ******* badass"
Heidi
I remember when Jaina, Miles, and David were over one night I came for dinner
They just walked in unprompted, and ruined the time we had alone
I remember how you all laughed at me when David made a sick joke about my racial makeup
Heidi
I got up from the table and went to the bathroom to cry that night
Not because I had to go to the bathroom but because you replied to his joke by laughing along
And you even made another joke saying "But he's our token asian"
Heidi
I remember sitting next to you on your bed when we would watch movies all evening
But I also remember your attitude and the things you called me the whole time
"Asian buddy"
Heidi
I started noticing things about you I hadn't seen before because my love was blind
Like how badly you treated people, just like your friends did
Like how self-absorbed you were and how quickly you and your friends ego's fell apart
When you realized going to the corrupt Art Institutes for art degrees to make art was probably a bad idea
Heidi
You were having a hard time finding yourself and what you wanted to do with your life
Because you'd spent all your time in high school thinking you were on top of everyone
I led you on for almost 8 months before I decided enough was enough
Heidi
I should have left you early on because during those 8 months I tried to change you
Talk to my friends, I talked to them nonstop about you and what I should do with you
I remember how I only stayed because it wouldn't be fair to you for all the work we put in
Heidi
I'm sorry I hurt you but you hurt me too and as time went by I realized
You weren't even close to someone I wanted to spend any time with
You were nothing I could love, a proven *****
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 1:11 AM UTC
If one heart breaks too many times, the outcome is severe,
This is my first-hand account, and why I’m standing here.
I was not protected, believed, comforted or heard
To expect I’d rally differently, or better is absurd.
Who the hell do you think you are?
Creating demons, and inflicting scars
Never showing me affection, and rarely being kind
Really does a number on a child’s simple mind.
I slid a razor over my skin, the first time when I was six
The cuts have healed just fine, mental anguish ******* sticks
The problem is, the six year old, you tortured has grown up
Turns out I can be loved Frances,
so I filled my own cup
You mean nothing to me Frances.
Ivan, **** you too!
I hope you know, in many ways,
I've killed the both of you.
Sam I ******* hate your stupid *** for what you did.
Do you feel remorseful now, or are you still ******* kids?
My wish for you… suffering, much more before your dead
If I were you, I’d **** myself, just like the voices said.
Eric you aren't worth a single word from me or a wisp of air,
You could die today in fact and nobody would care.
Ivan you’re the disappointment, you aren't even a man.
Get in my face you ******* coward and I’ll drop you where you stand.
Judge not, lest he be judged himself; old man I wouldn't dare
You should have ******* stopped him Ivan, after all, you were right there
Instead you did what you do best and hid under a hood
You probably think we'll meet in hell, but me and God are good
Keep yourselves away from me, I am better than y’all
My heads held high, were toe to toe, I’m big now and you’re small.
Those of you reading this might think I’m being mean
Trust me though when I say this you ain't seen anything
Heidi Shavill
2013
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 1:02 AM UTC
Little boy
Red fires trucks
Tree forts
Grasshoppers
Model rockets
Rock n roll
The sea
Growing body
Out of place
Sitting alone
Watching
Lonely
Hide
No one understands
Girl crush
Cars
Writing
21
Alcohol
Drugs
Relief
Job
Alcohol
Must smile
Alcohol
Work
Forget
Gay girls
Weekends with Heidi
I fit in
Guys made jokes
Hate them
Hate them
Alcohol
Alcohol
Marriage
Love
Happier
Travel
Escape
Love
30 years
Hiding
Feel it
Covered
Concealed
Leaking out
Femininity
Fashion
Passion
Beauty
Desire
Need
I'm Trans
Release
Lightened
Free
Happy
Me
©Lj Mark 2015
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 12:41 AM UTC
The Songbird
Are you broken-hearted? Mend it with a song.
Sing one retaliating against how you’ve been done wrong,
Songbird your voice draws goose bumps, and tears.
Sing out loud using only your deepest wounds, and fears.
Sing by heart, be confident and proud
Sing in the shower, to yourself, or bravely to a crowd.
Lullaby yourself to sleep,
With soothing songs much peace you’ll reap.
Strong and beautiful, this voice in me
Soulful anguish will set you free
When expelled from your spirit lyrically.
Sing a song of sorrow for the little one inside,
For she remains twisted from insanity, still cutting, deprived.
Sing one jubilantly, of sunflowers and frogs
Then laugh so hard it hurts your sides until giggles become sobs.
Don’t be afraid to sing one hymn along with me,
About how life endured, strengthens our melody.
Whether acappella, country or the blues,
Let your raw emotion be the one to choose
Notice how we pick the songs that strum our broken hearts
It's only through revealing pain, that the healing starts.
Heidi Shavill
2013
May 26, 2013
May 26, 2013 at 1:15 AM UTC
Do you blame me for the rut we’re in?
God knows I had a wiser plan,
It was all blue skies and sunshine,
When loving you began.
If all my wishes would come true,
I’d bundle every bit of wealth and give it all to you.
Intentions alone aren’t acceptable though,
So I need to show you reasons why
You don’t want to go.
Leaving doesn’t work, sorry, I need you right here loving me.
This wounded hearts on lockdown and
You possess the only key.
Somehow, someway you’ll see me shine,
Then perhaps we’ll gain some peace of mind.
Regardless, of what ultimately you choose
I pray that you’re gentle,
If I should lose.
Heidi Shavill 2010
Feb 5, 2013
Feb 5, 2013 at 4:37 AM UTC
I hope that you're unhappy
I wish that you were dead...
Hopefully psychotic delusions
Dance inside your head...
I hope you contract ******
I want you to bleed...
I hope you never find what you think you need
I hope you fall madly in love, no really I do
'Cause I hope he is abusive, and he cheats on you...
You deserve nothing, I pray that you go blind
I hope you keep suffering until you lose your mind...
I hope every choice you make turns out a big mistake
I hope each promise made to you the promise maker breaks...
I hope you know my hatred is true
Thank God they took my son from you...
I hope you feel guilty you should be ashamed
Thankfully it's my family that shares his last name...
I hope you feel worthless, hopefully no one cares
I hope when you long comfort that no one ever dares...
Hopefully you understand what a ***** paybacks can be
I hope you are scared to death and you never live fear free
I hope you detest the life that you alone have built
while we're loved abundantly and are happy to the hilt...
I hope you know he's finally free
all safe and sound, right here with me...
I hope through time he will recover
Everybody knows
you have failed
as a friend,
woman,
and mother...
Heidi Shavill
2011
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 3:20 AM UTC
Heidi Williams
If I edit language, call me poet, a word-smith if I pro it.
But if I edit music, there's no such name, no tags of respect
just beats to collect, sometimes trash that collects.
I'm a trash collector, musical dumpster diver,
producers dump their trash
I turn their trash to treasure.
Treasure hunter, trash tuner.
There's beauty everywhere
to the eyes of see-ers, the the ears of hearers.
Seagulls see trash and turn obsessive, possessive.
And we feed the other birds, but shoo them away,
but once winter comes,
we hear seagull sounds, and we feel the beech.
We listen for summer in seagulls.
We listen for oceans in seashells,
but I can hear waves in my headphones,
and I can change the tide when the trash comes.
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 4:38 AM UTC
Please don't let me go this time,
I need a hand to hold,
Away, away you
push,and push,
You win this hand,
I fold,
My weakness shows,
you feed off it,
I'm such an easy prey,
To you, I'd sacrifice my soul
if only you would stay.
Heidi Shavill
2008
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 12:58 AM UTC
Letting Go
Let go of this delusion, burst the bubble where I dwell.
Then let reality set in to dissolve my wispy veil,
Let go of mindless babble; silently listen for awhile
Let go of false pretenses and slowly learn to smile.
Let go the jagged remnants, of my shattered heart.
Let go white knuckles clutching, so grief restrained may start.
Let go pathetic excuses and attempts to justify,
Addiction, plain and simply explains why we get high.
Let go the lies I tell myself, be brave enough to see,
Devastation happened in my past, now, release me agony.
Let go one single blood-curdling scream, make it worthy you get just one.
Let go of superficial friends, do unto them as they’ve done.
Let go of wishing that beauty would change me just for you
I’m proud of who I am inside, no one but I can fill my shoes.
Let go all of the games we play to avoid having to feel
Let go of who you think he wants, and be the one that’s real.
Heidi Shavill
2013
May 19, 2013
May 19, 2013 at 5:21 AM UTC
My wilted heart beats,
and quivers inside this cavernous hole
Crying weakens me
and salty tears drench my soul
I believed in this,
I guess the jokes on me...
the love of my life you are
honestly.
I cannot look passed our time together,
I could have loved your *** forever!
hopefully my impression on you will linger
it feels wrong without you here like a song without a singer
remember please time and again
this brave broken heart that let you in...
Heidi Shavill
2013
Feb 14, 2013
Feb 14, 2013 at 11:39 PM UTC
Life's too short to live in fear of someone that you love,
Don't waste a second changing yourself its them that's not enough,
Don't let people in that lie, honestly, I stress.
Truthfully, dishonesty will leave your soul depressed.
Should anyone raise a hand to you,
you better raise one back,
Never show your weaknesses,
or qualities you lack...
we've all been through horrific ****
some of us worse than others.
it's made me who I am today
I'm stronger than my mother
Finally remember,
never to forget where you have been,
because karma ***** and sure as ****
you will end up there again.
Heidi Shavill
2013
Feb 9, 2013
Feb 9, 2013 at 12:53 AM UTC
"Heidi why do you have those lines on your arm?"
it's because im a broken person
trying to heal from all the pain
And the way I say this
I am no where near close trying
to romanticize my self harm or self hate
"so you mean people made you have these cracks in your skin"
remember the phrase "words hurt"
well the horrible sickning words
that were addressed to me
were killing me
"Heidi please don't ever say you hate yourself again because I love you."
oh darling
you're beautiful 7 year old mind
makes me feel like
I'd never have pain again
but what am I feeling
as im trying to explain
why I hated myself so much
to have "cracks" in my skin
-H.M.
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 10:05 PM UTC
*Cossack Cowboys
Riding Llamas
That they dress
In pink pajamas
Teeny boppers
Blowing bubbles
Biker chicks
Causing trouble
Nuns in Habits
Punks in chains
One or two
Of the deranged
Rubbing Buddha belly
Cravers
And the band
Harvey Danger
David Bowie
Elton John
Both of them
With Spacesuits on
Vegetarians
Eating chicken
Love it fried
Finger licking
In a line to
Meet and greet Obama
Now I wish
I'd brought my Mama
On the T.V.
Slicing, Dicing
Infomercials
Are enlightening
Lindsey Lohan
There's more trouble
Send the Police
On the double
Michael Jackson
With his monkey
Chandelier
Swinging junkies
Bottle Rocket
Ridding crickets
Dolly Parton
Doing dishes
Tubs of Crisco
Set for wrestling
Bee Gees do be
Disco dancing
With Bruce Jenner
Wearing makeup
Dolly's kitchen
Filled with soap suds
Rubber band
Bumper babies
Call me odd
Don't call me crazy
Shooting stars
Carry Uzis
Washed up stars
Drink beer in Koozies
Donnie Osmond
Singing show tunes
As Marie blows
Animal balloons
Circus Barkers
And their Minions
Waylon left us
Shooter Jennings
Heidi Klum
Without makeup
To say the least
She looks a bit rough
American flags
As rainbow banners
Peal, scratch, and sniff
Talking bananas
Hookha smoking
Manatees
Oh yea...
and then there's me
These are just a few of the things that lean
On the lamp post of my dreams*
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 1:50 PM UTC
About three years ago I visited the Cavern pub on Matthew Street. My friend Ian Prowse runs the open Mic night. They have two rules. No cover versions and three songs maximum. I hadn't been for a while and was immediately set upon by Ian to sing a song he likes that I wrote. So when the time came. Up I got and sang. After I went to the bar, my nerves shot. I ordered a drink and a lady approached me and said how much she enjoyed it. We chatted and she asked was I there every week. I said sadly no I have other commitments. She then said she would be back next week as working in Liverpool again would I like to meet up for a drink? . I agreed to meet at 7, Matthew Street. I had just met Heidi.
The next Monday I finished work. Jumped the train to James Street and there she was. I asked had she eaten yet and she hadn't. So we went to a little Thai place on South John Street. We sat down ordered a bottle of white wine and made our selections. By the time we had finished the starters there was about 1cm of wine left in the bottle and she was very chatty and loud. Much to the delight of the couple on the table next too us who seemed to hang on her every word.
The main course came and went as did the second bottle. I still hadn't got halfway into my second glass. Now truly smashed she says "I suppose you will want a BJ after this?" The lady on the table next too us almost choked, her husband let out a laugh and I said, I know not why, "That sounds nice, but I was looking forward to the Apple pie with ice cream to be fair."
That was it for the couple next to us. His wife almost had an embolism and he laughed his head off.
Heidi got up threw her napkin on the table, downed her glass of wine in one, announced to the fellow dinners "He's not getting laid tonight" Turned, almost demolished the table leaving, and stormed out. The couple next to me now in tears, the waitress comes to the table and asks "Err is the lady coming back?" I reply No I don't think so.
She then asks would I like dessert?
Before I can say a word the chap on the table next to us says "I hope you have apple pie and Ice cream for the poor guy"
The waitress said "No" and that finished it. Three tables of people laughing relentlessly.
I sat and had melon ***** and they chatted like we had known each other for years.
What of Heidi?
She was never to be seen again.
Aug 4, 2019
Aug 4, 2019 at 9:00 PM UTC
Sunshine warms my aging face
I pray God keeps my loved ones safe.
For it takes a toll upon my heart,
pondering that in time, death will do us part.
Dearly missed are those who have passed on,
I cannot believe it's been 9 years since my son's been gone.
I've often wondered through the grief how it never stayed my feet.
Why don't I join, what I can't beat?
Am I truly moving forward?
What then, am I aiming toward?
I thought I'd die the day he did,
Instead his absence increased my will to live.
What if the bible thumpers are right?
And the truth is if you take your life
the darkness douses the proverbial "light"?
Leaving the soul ill-fated, eternally alone,
Stuck somewhere between Hell's fire, and home.
On this note I've decided not to take that risk,
It won't be long, for life is brisk.
If Heaven truly exists I'll see,
my angel son has saved a place for me.
Heidi Shavill
2013
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 5:47 AM UTC
CHOMO
Anger building up in me
Pounds my skull quite violently
I can’t sit still so I just pace
Until again he invades my space.
Afraid to tell, I rage and scream,
Upon deaf ears falls my suffering
The pain inside I've rarely shown
Cripples me if I’m alone.
Too easily they let it slide,
What he did for years they tried
To hide the truth and blame the one
Ripped apart by their ******* son.
Heidi Shavill
2013
Feb 5, 2013
Feb 5, 2013 at 6:16 AM UTC
I know you haven't heard from me in years .
I thought I'd write just to let you know that Tommy Faulkner died , you know passed away . I didn't even know it until it was all over . Don't even know what he died from . Heidi told me . Oh , you don't know Heidi , my fist and third wife . She and Tommy were good friends . Last I heard about you , you were moving to North Carolina , your home by birth . But your home was always with us here on the Southside of Birmingham . Sigh !
I hoped you made a big splash back home when you arrived . Such a polar extreme . I kept your poems for years until Heidi threw out my box of poetry ,with yours included .
Also Steven Sedbury's . You remember him ? Last I heard about you , you had a brain tumor and you passed away . Now I stand alone with my ghosts and I have no address to send my posts .
Love Thomas
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 10:13 PM UTC
Why Angels fall
Awakened by an eerie dream
Of weary angels with tattered wings
Their song was woeful and it broke my heart
I asked them if they knew the part
where I alone lived through hell
The angel closest to me sighed,
and then began to yell
“Dear child don’t be selfish! life’s not always about you.”
“You think we left you all alone; yet this simply is not true.”
Another spoke much quieter, she said,
“I beg your pardon,”
“You’ve had the best protecting you,
Hand plucked, from heavens garden.”
My response was if that is true then please explain,
how each of them were able
The youngest one emerged just then
from underneath my table,
He was a child of maybe ten
I wondered how he died,
With tears falling from his eyes he whispered
“we have tried,”
Timidly he approached me,
a tarnished halo on his head
Then nearly imperceptibly, the youngest angel said,
“We were beaten quite extensively,
and for a long, long time”
“Our wings you see are tattered now;
and we need our wings to fly,
It’s hard to sit and listen to all that they’d endured
I realized right then how badly my vision was obscured.
An older angel shuffled towards me,
with no wings at all
I can’t express how bad it feels
to have made these angels fall.
while looking deep into my soul, he struggled to convey
“The demons were a burden, sure
though they’re all gone today.”
“ Sadly, the only one unconquered,
your worst nemesis, is you,”
We’ve come bearing hope, perhaps that you‘d know what to do
To slay the beast you’re on your own;
I heard them loud and clear
“I’m sorry,”
I said loudly, to be sure they each could hear
The beast in there’s enormous
and nastier than me
I promised them I’d do my best,
though surely they could see
That I was no contender;
his wrath he will reign down
Then gracefully a girl approached me
wearing a flowing gown
Into my ear she whispered,
a message that was sent from above
“All you need is in your heart
the most powerful weapons love.”
Heidi Shavill 2013
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 7:52 AM UTC
The spirit of Christmas was here again
As they rocked on up to my door,
The aunts and uncles and cousins, all
I’d not even seen before,
They’d smelt the turkey, they’d seen the tree
With its lights, red yellow and green,
They’d even come with their knives and forks
In case that my own weren’t clean.
They came in a rush at twelve o’clock,
‘Now we’re not too late, we trust?
We got caught up at Aunt Mary’s, then
We missed the eleven-ten bus,
She says she’ll not be cooking this year
So we didn’t have time to lose,
She’ll hurry along with a minute to spare
As soon as she puts on her shoes.’
I said, ‘Oh good!’ as they filed on in
To wash their hands in the sink,
Then counted heads and I gulped and saw
The turkey begin to shrink,
A single bird for eleven heads
Or twelve if you counted me,
I might just get a wing and a prayer
When feeding this family.
They found the chest with the beer in ice
But there wasn’t enough for all,
So they corked and drank the fine Rosé
That I’d had displayed on the wall,
They ground the peanuts into the rug
And they spilled Chablis on the couch,
Then kept on stumbling over my feet
And all I could say was ‘Ouch!’
They sat around with an hour to wait
While the turkey started to brown,
And talked of family members that
They thought were coming on down,
But then the topic they all enjoyed
Was raising its ugly head,
‘You’d never believe,’ said Cousin Steve
But Auntie Caroline’s dead!’
‘I heard she fell from the Pepper Tree
With the pruning shears in her grasp,
Into a deadly swarm of bees!’
You could hear the others gasp.
‘And George, remember George, he was
Your Uncle’s cousin’s son,
He fell right under a train; they said
He had a blindfold on.’
Then Gustave from the German branch
And Heidi from the Swiss,
Had both expired in some dread fire,
I’d not heard any of this!
‘Delaney died in Ottawa
When he fell dead off his horse,
And Orson choked on a bottle of coke
That was really chilli sauce!’
I cleared my throat before I spoke
‘I would hate to interrupt,
But listening to your Death Watch List
Has made my mind right up.
I don’t know a single one of you,
You've not been here before,
But you’ll find who you are related to
If you’d like to try next door.’
David Lewis Paget
Dec 24, 2013
Dec 24, 2013 at 12:40 AM UTC