I'm cast into blue icy depths,
Those eyes of yours and mine had met,
A hardened hate is what I felt
But I don't know of damage dealt

With you I had not a squabble
When we first met your affections toppled!
If I may,
then I will guess
He fed you lies
Must be the reason for those freezing eyes

I’d love to tell you how
                                 I thought
It went to hell
But you two wander off.

I'm pulled out of the frozen waves,
Into suburbs
Where we all live
Your kids come over every other
Day to play with mine

A jostle and I'm back again
Watching your backs walk fast again,

I wish we had a different fate,
But I see now, your hearts are hard,
My character must have been flawed

It is of no effect to me,
Cause if ever a time were to arise,
Or God decides there will be rain,
For you two,
I hope to be near
So that I may hear all your tears,
Stop
As aid comes around
But you will not know from whom,
And I'll leave without a sound.

"What's the matter dear?"
Psh... They say it as if they actually care.

Everything.

Nothing.

I have no ******* clue what is actually wrong with me.

What is so wrong with me that I am squeezing my lungs with my dirt covered hands just so I have trouble breathing, just so.. perhaps... I suffocate myself...

What is so wrong with me that I've had to cry so often my tears have turned to sand and they begin to erode my flesh?
I've sobbed so often lately that the features of my bare skull are now where my pretty face should be.

I'm such a **** up.

I swear they told me that the minute I was born. You would figure it was my name.

Hello my name is: **** Up.

Nice to meet you. I hope we can be great frie--- oh great.
I've done it again.

I said the wrong thing.
I held out the wrong hand for the handshake.
I'm too ugly for them to talk to.
I'm too skinny.
It's the pimples again isn't it?
They weren't this bad yesterday I promise I just pick
Pick... Pick... Too much.
I'm s-sorry I k-keep st-stuttering its j-just that you're s-so... pretty.  Oh y-you have to g-go? O-okay...

The abandonment issues never really go away.

It gets harder and harder to talk to people. Even in your dreams you try to scream to get some recognition for yourself but every word comes out silent.

Crowds are your worst enemy. You get lost as they swarm towards you and your body suddenly feels tight. Your stomach flips upside down and you're not breathing steady.

And then... Oh! There's that suffocation you wanted earlier. Is it everything you expected? Breathe it all in! Oh wait... You can't. Hahaha!

You can't speak, and when you do you st-stutter again and you speak so quietly that it doesn't even matter anyway.

"I exist." You whisper.

No one heard you, you know.
Instead their voices bounce off each other and you feel light headed as that once wonderful cranium fills with the clamor of the incredibly untalented voice-drummers you unwillingly surround yourself with.

My entire body trembles with anxious defeat.


Such a **** up.
You can't even get him to talk to you again let alone love you, you miserable *******. You're going to be alone forever, you know.

And your own friends!... They're out doing drugs and you always believe them when they say they're going to quit. Jokes on you. This will traumatize you for the rest of your pointless life, especially when you know you could have done something.

You can't even take care of yourself, what makes you think you deserve those wonderful twins you hold so closely to your heart? You should have listened to your father when he said you'd be a terrible mother. He was right. You're horrid.

Sticks and stones WILL break my bones, but words will indeed **** me.

Hello, my name is: ****** Up

Welcome to the town of Unimportance.
Population: Me

sailing down
a sunless sea
downward to
infinity
no stars above
to give me hope
or guide me to
an island shore
with every change of course i make
my destin--y
remai-ns unchang---ed

no escape
from this wilderness
no running from this
empti-ne---ss

...da-da-da-dahh
duh da-da da da dahhh

ta-ke
my ha-nd
and come
and come with me
fa--r
so far be-yond
this storm
this stormy sea
rest your weary heart within
leave the wor-ld
behind my friend
you've heard me calling
for a long long time
just take my hand
and you will find...

...da-da-da-dahh
duh da-da da da dahhh

so i turn my ship
into the wind
and fa-ce the tru-th
that i have seen
softly singing
she calls my name
with open arms
i release my pain
and as the sea closes over me
my hea-rt at last finds
ser-en-it---y

... oblivio--n
a broken heart's best frie-nd

ta-ke
my ha-nd
and come
and come with me
fa-r
so far be-yond
this storm
this stormy sea
rest your weary heart within
leave the wor-ld
behind my friend
you've heard me calling
for a long long ti-me
just take my hand
and you will find...

... oblivio--n
a broken heart's best fri-end

so i turn my ship
into the wind
embrace the heart of
obli-vi---on...

"hello friend"
she welcomes me within...

so ta-ke
my ha-nd
and come
and come with me
far
so far bey-ond
this storm
this stormy sea
rest your weary heart within
leave the wor-ld
behind my friend
you've heard me calling
for a long long time
just take my hand
and you will find...

obli-vi-o---n
obli-vi--o---on
obli-vi-o--n

" i'll be your bro-ken hea-rt's
be-st frien--d... "

.
Pic Poem
http://oi57.tinypic.com/10qb7tz.jpg
.

When I lie down to sleep, I promise myself that you won't cross my mind.
But when i lay here in the quiet of the night, my thoughts slowly drift to you.
My mind wanders to moments past.
And I can still feel your touch on my skin.
I can feel the warmth of your sweet whispers absorb into my cheek.
I can feel your chest slowly rise and fall against mine.
And I can feel the warmth of your lips press to my hand before you drift off unto slumber.
My heart beats fast like it did when you put your hand over my chest.
I still can"t breathe when I think about not having you.
I know things have changed.
But those were my favorite days.
It didn't happen overnight.
But now I look back and everything is different.
My reality is without you.
But my thoughts and dreams allow you to swallow me up.
I miss your beautiful hands and your emerald green eyes that look straight into mine.
Like you can see my soul.
Hold me,
And let me hear you sigh in your sleep.
Hold me,
And let this love we have, this bond, this friendship thats so different...
Last forever.

Jeg græder nogle gange i hverdagen
fordi jeg er lykkelig
Og når først man er lykkelig
har man noget at miste
Så jeg er bange i øjeblikket,
men om fredagen griner jeg,
fordi der drikker jeg mig selv fuld
Og så er jeg modig nok til
ikke at være bange
for at være lykkelig.

Så kan jeg frit kysse mine cigaretter
og gøre frie ting, som lykkelige mennesker nu gør.
fordi likøren holder min lykke i hånden
og hjælper den ud ad kassen
i mit kranie
hvor den normalt
gemmer sig
blandt
mit ego
og andre ulovlige tanker.

jeg ved nu
at du ikke gjorde mig
til den bedste version af mig selv
for jeg har set at med de rigtige
mennesker blomstrer jeg
som en valmue
smuk og rød mens den
lever frit på marken
men hvis du plukker den
dør den
jeg ved nu
at jeg ikke skal leve
for at passe ind i et
andet menneskes liv
men finde mennesker
der passer ind i mit
som vil leve side om side
med mig på
den frie mark
jeg ved også
at det er okay at jeg
forelskede mig blindt
i lyden af din stemme
dit grin
din hjerne
i måden dine læber
rørte mine
den måde du så mig
det er okay
men først nu ved jeg
at jeg ikke er en kærlighed
fattigere
men en kærlighed rigere
for du vil altid side i mig
have en plads i mit hjerte
for tiden vi har tilbragt sammen
kommer aldrig tilbage
minderne vi har skabt sammen
de forsvinder aldrig
vi vil altid eksistere i datiden
det kan ingen af os løbe fra
og det er okay nu
for nu ved jeg
at det var meningen at vi
skulle forelske os
for at skilles igen
og lære noget om kærlighed