"facetimes" poems
*"Sometimes I want to kiss you and sometimes I want to **** you"*
Your texts run through my mind
Over and
Over and
Over and over and
Over and
stop, please just make the voices stop
"I really like you like a lot like sometimes too much"
***how the hell can you say
something like that*** and then decide
to ignore me barely
Two hours later
I don't understand
I'm sorry
I love you
Come back
I need you
I'm lying
You said you hated me
You were lying
**** you
I can't think straight anymore
And all of this is your fault
But it's partly
my fault, too
Because I knew I was falling
For a disaster waiting to happen
From the moment I met you
But I decided to let myself fall
Anyways
Even though they all told me
What a **** you were
How you would end up hurting me
And I didn't listen
Because there were times
Past midnight when you became so
Vulnerable, almost like you lay
Your guard down and let me in
***I told myself you would never
Fall for a girl like me***
We were just friends
But just friends don't do the things
that we did
They don't hold on tight to each other every time they hug, as if
That hug will be their last
They don't sing to each other
They don't harmlessly tease each other
Hell, they don't even look
at each other
The way that we did
I looked at you
Like you were my everything
And you looked at me
Like I was something precious,
That needed to be protected
If only I could've realized it then
I should've realized that you loved me
From how badly you wanted to help me
From how you cried when I etched punishments into my skin
From how you would casually touch me, whenever you could
You would lazily wrap an arm around me, keeping me close.
you put me through so much hell
I shouldn't be thinking about you
in this way
I shouldn't be thinking about
your body
Or our late night facetimes
Or what your lips would taste like
Pressed against mine
I should hate you right now. So much.
But I can't
I can't.
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:39 AM UTC
A lthough it didn't last long,
S urely I'll never forget you.
H ow could I? Those
L ong FaceTimes at 4am,
E very smile, laugh, goofy face. No
Y ou're too memorable. Good bye.
Aug 28, 2014
Aug 28, 2014 at 4:29 AM UTC
COVID-19
It has changed all the lives it hasn’t yet claimed
Too many deathbeds held souls in empty spaces
Innocent, isolated individuals
With their visitors crying in the hospital parking lot instead of their hospital room
As if goodbye wasn't hard enough
It has changed the way we grow
Children won't know how to share
Instead they will have “disinfect” ingrained in their young brains
Carrying hand sanitizer like a shield, a barrier against the germs
Taught to fear others as though they’ll **** us themselves
It has changed the way we consume
Online shopping to the point we don't remember what's in packages
Spending money we don't have
Sanitized carts and Purell at every entrance of the stores that have opened
Grocery shopping sparks anxiety like never before
It has changed the way we love
Zoom calls and FaceTimes are as connected as we can get
The inability to remember what it feels like to be in another's arms
We stand six feet apart, not knowing how to act
Trying to read the millions of emotions held within each others eyes
It has changed how we dress
Forgetting where you've placed your mask is just as bad as your keys
Face covers scream isolation
Smothering smiles, turning us all into faceless creatures
But somehow the mere thought of the pandemic feels more suffocating
It has changed the way we exist
Instilling a new fear into the next generation
A new urgency in the medical field
And overall, a new norm that makes unity unbelievably uncomfortable.
S.S.
Sep 11, 2020
Sep 11, 2020 at 4:04 PM UTC
Frost is longing
I longed for the thaw as soon as I saw
icy blue eyes and a navy Patagonia
reflected up from a small square of light.
Longing to see you in person
but settling for bantered texts
and drunken FaceTimes
Longing to reach across the copper table,
clasp your neck,
and pull you into candlelight
Longing to collapse twelve days into one
so we can stop rehearsing
and begin.
Frost is two roads not yet contemplated.
We have barely set out.
There will be many chances to diverge,
Each one a "what could have been."
For now there is only one reality -
A fantasy of who I want you to be.
Whatever we will be,
we will never be that.
Frost is nipping at my nose
With teeth like wintergreen chiclets.
Seduced by the smell of roasted chestnuts,
I am always disappointed by the taste
Yet, ever optimistic,
I try one again.
And each time it comes closer
To making fantasy real.
Frost is on the window.
Scratch with your finger to try and see through.
Delight in how it rolls under your nails before it melts.
May 2, 2019
May 2, 2019 at 1:18 PM UTC
my heart is shattered
and my lungs have
started closing up
and my heart clenched
and tightened when
"i think we should just be friends."
escaped his lips with a
whisper
and i acted like i wasn't
falling apart inside
and
i acted like i wasn't
going to end up
crying all night
and ignoring
his phone calls
texts
facetimes
and i understand that he needs
physical contact
and i may not be able to give him that
but i tried
i tried my best to be the best
i could be
just for him
and everything has been falling apart
and my heart is officially
shattered.
m.g.
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 8:25 PM UTC
You hear the thud.
Put on your dressing gown, rub your eyes.
And wearily approach the door, wondering what it could be.
Another bill, another promotion in a cunning disguise?
But there it is, dressed elegantly in plain white,
With the stamp placed perfectly on the right.
You see the swirls in the handwriting,
The way they flick the k’s and how they curl their c’s.
You try to guess who sent this wonderful surprise
You pick it up with care and, for an instant, freeze
Then you abandon all restraint, and rip it apart
Desperate to read what’s at its heart.
It takes thought and love to write.
In a world full of texts, facetimes and calls.
A letter hits the spot just right.
A short story, addressed to you
And only you
A little piece of history lies in your hand
Keep these letters
Store them safely away
For they will fill your heart with joy
When you re-read them on a melancholy day
Next time you are at a loss for something to do
I beg of you, put down that phone
Take out a pen and write a letter or two.
Apr 17, 2021
Apr 17, 2021 at 12:15 PM UTC
It always goes the same way. You going a million miles a minute running around your room doing stuff. I'll catch every other word you say with the sound cutting in and out. I am either looking at the ceiling or it is paused because of the connection. But none of that bothers me. I don't mind not being able to hear everything you say so know what you are doing or what you are saying because I know you are there. I know if the connection cuts out you will call right back and apologize. All of your stories and comments not necessarily talking to me or seeing if I am listening but I am. So I find myself keeping busy with coloring, puzzles, writing, or just adoring you. We never really talk just the occasional what are you doing. but I like it. It's our thing. We don't have to talk to each to know we are there for each other. I would much rather be with you like this. You always end up making me laugh or smile and I don't get a lot of that so thank you for all of our casual FaceTimes.
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 3:35 AM UTC
Learning
I have to learn how to love a busy man
Not a man that is busy loving others
But a man that is busy loving himself
Loves himself enough to
Leave me to focus on his assignments
Returning when they're complete
Loves himself enough to choose
His education over a few texts and facetimes
Promising it'll pay off in the end
Whether or not I'm around to benefit
I have to learn to love a man that is busy
being productive for the future
Sacrificing his social life
But always fitting me in
To remind me that when
Dynamics
Isn't occupying his mind
I creep back in
It has its perks though
You don't have to worry
about him straying unless its
with a math problem
him caressing anything other than
something he's built with his own hands
So when he disappears for hours
I sigh
Then remember and daydream
of him
headphones in
face in a book
reading about dynamics
sighing
As I sit in bed
headphones in,
reading
about Rosaura
See she was separated from her love too
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 4:30 PM UTC
Still unhinged by my own wrench
Memories pour in my head I'm drenched
Naive in the daydream of trust
Believed in something greater then lust
Bond of faith without haste
To end in her bed another waste
Something serious
Friendships keep me delirious
Sadness instills deeper fear
Even friends leave me in need and I shed a tear
Ruined on something so stupid
Lost my best friend nothing about cupid
Yet still heartache weighs like full buckets
Will you answer when I call nobody understands fuckit
Loss of sobriety denied me our bond
The usual pain was so fond
This is something new
Now I'm left scrambling for a few
To replace the whole of one
How could it be this easy for you to be done
Facetimes rejected left neglected
As if the past was a different universe
Stuck with myself like a curse
Just can't believe this is how hard it hurts
My best friend has left me
May 29, 2017
May 29, 2017 at 10:29 PM UTC
Day 4
And I missed you painfully.
Laying in bed missing all the times I came home to your face(times).
It became my favorite time of the day.
Then I have to remember that guy on those facetimes isn't who stands before me now.
In love with someone I haven't seen in a while.
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 11:09 PM UTC
Day 4
And I missed you painfully.
Laying in bed missing all the times I came home to your face(times).
It became my favorite time of the day.
Then I have to remember that guy on those facetimes isn't who stands before me now.
In love with someone I haven't seen in a while.
So whereas I used to fear giving a person space out of fear of being forgotten, being lived without, being replaced,
Today I realized if I am any of those things, I would be them regardless if I separated myself or not.
I will not love out of fear.
Distance and time and if it's meant to be it'll be.
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 11:28 PM UTC
She wanna text
Phone ***
Been 75 + days
Imagination keeps us going, snapchat, bitmojis, custom stickers and ****
I never sweat it though
Because I know,
I can get her wet
And I can make her laugh
And I'm the person she facetimes when she's in the bubble bath
So even from a distance,
Still gotta be consistent.
You know how it goes though
Even when we were at campus we worlds a part at times and we both know.
Not in another country but that distance stretch for miles
30 mintues out turned into 2 hours and a bit
Sometimes we question if it's worth it
Pros and cons , convinces us that this might be legit.
So we'll snap and text for another 75+ days
if we have to
So be it close together or spaced apart
Locked down, isolated quarantined,
or, close together, sharing a breath, chest to chest, heart to heart
Love lives here and besides we've got to settle the bill
Love is an infection a virus can't ****
Jun 27, 2020
Jun 27, 2020 at 8:42 PM UTC
the smell of 2 am facetimes
crying and panic attacks on repeat through the night
i still see my reflection blinking back at me
i fell in love with a ghost;
i saw the sheer blankness of her face
i never realized we were one the same
black cherry merlot and
caramel brûlée frappuchinos
go home, it’s midnight and you’re sleeping on my couch
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 11:41 AM UTC