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Chris Jul 2017
UV rays tickle the hair on my skin
The Sun shines on the son of sin
goosebumps tell me lies
as if my emotions were alive
somehow i reside
in a cold happiness its alright
opposites attract is a detraction to reality
maybe ask me later if im happy when i lose my sobriety
lost where only my eyes can see
with hell in my brain
it came to be in such pain
time to be a man
flipflop heres a new plan
could i move forward with you in reverse
time continues on till im in a hearse
but whats worse
is that i created a curse
on a spellbook i found
searching to be bound
in solidarity for clarity
even ****** up the memory
when death doesn't seem like a solution
look towards a new resolution
compromise on my conscience
meet me halfway oh stop this
naivety dictates i stay and wait
intuition remedies a stray straight
paths onward unfolds
as so its been told
time to move out
Chris May 2017
Still unhinged by my own wrench
Memories pour in my head I'm drenched
Naive in the daydream of trust
Believed in something greater then lust
Bond of faith without  haste
To end in her bed another waste
Something serious
Friendships keep me delirious
Sadness instills deeper fear
Even friends leave me in need and I shed a tear
Ruined on something so stupid
Lost my best friend nothing about cupid
Yet still heartache weighs like full buckets
Will you answer when I call nobody understands fuckit
Loss of sobriety denied me our bond
The usual pain was so fond
This is something new
Now I'm left scrambling for a few
To replace the whole of one
How could it be this easy for you to be done
Facetimes rejected left neglected
As if the past was a different universe
Stuck with myself like a curse
Just can't believe this is how hard it hurts
My best friend has left me
Cannot believe it happened
Chris Feb 2017
expectations are steady creeping
everyday smiles all a praise
oh what a day what a day
and then another goes by
how long can i stick with this facade
skipping stones inside my own mirage
now sobriety reminds my I started in the first place
it was to maybe find a way to get away yet still
Seasons pass feelings remain ever-last
Regret I wasted her time and put doubt in her mind
About love and whats the meaning
Lonely men weep themselves because we see so clear
Move along theres nothing to see here
God what a fear have I begun
Its almost like I knew it'd begin again
Nothing can stop the inevitable
I've been delaying this for far too long
I just wanted to make a change for myself
But now I see that has only gotten me more disgusted
So now I fold throw my hands up like there was room to be bold
Who would of ever known
The person who smiles away everyday
Had such a burden to pay
Just let go
havent felt this way in a long time which is why i havent been active in a long time.
Chris Jan 2016
whispering shadows lean in for a hear
a little whimper as down falls a tear
why do people constantly **** on me
are they searching for something more
beyond the green pastures of safety
do they see something i had missed
i feel comfort in myself
that it causes others to seek discomfort
am i so in self tuned that it makes me
seem so out of equalibrium
i dont blame people who are mean to me

a toliet is made to be **** in
a punching bag gets punched
a soccer ball gets kicked
a staircase gets stepped on
a door is made to be closed
if i wasnt so busy opening the door
maybe one day ill know to close it
time to flush the toliet
it feels better to let things go
Chris Dec 2015
People say to me life is short
but then they say to me
what do you want to be
how many kids will you have
do you know where youre going?

people say live life to the fullest
then they waste my time
monday through friday
6am till 3pm
then afterwards they want me to spend hours doing more work

life's precious we say
another cigarette away
reject another dream of ours
put a posionringed bottle to my lips
its not okay until im 21 because then
is when life is no longer as precious as before.
so we arrest our dreams and trap them
daily inside our most basic routines
let the precious time dwindle away
just so we can look back and say
lifes short
so lets spend our priceless seconds and hours and value them at 12$ an hour
because it is so precious to us
why i am wasting my time here
Chris Nov 2015
what is it that fills you with malice
the fact that you will die alone and afraid
the fact that you lived alone and afraid
Chris Oct 2015
you bring me down
i could of been a bald eagle who
spread his wings wide over the globe
laid down his wings and took the earth
grasp it in my slick talons and swing it
then let it go and watch it fly like an egg
but you brought me down and now
im a cracked egg spilled on a
cracked sidewalk scattered by love
picked at walked on chewed up beat down burnt up by the unjust sun cooked sunnyside up with my yolk filling in the cracks becoming the ground that you walk on.
exactly where i belong
its too late for me im already insane
already in love with being alone
yet you still sit there on a cracked sidewalk remoreless with fork and knife slowly dissecting my love for myself eating it up and ******* it back out just to take something beautiful and make it ugly its in our nature
it is who we are we cannot run from it
only embrace it and learn to love the ****
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