"exsisted" poems
You look at me
When no one else sees
But when your
"Friends"
Are around
You make
Those annoying
***** noises
Like nothing exsisted
Like we never
Smiled
Or laughed together
Like we didn't flirt
Or have something
Your ashamed
Everything got ******* up
And that's okay
Because I know you
Almost asked me out once
I know
You use to want me
It's okay
I found someone
Not ashamed.
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 11:54 AM UTC
Year 1 - June 30th was the day I fell in love with you. It was rough at first, you were always stealing me away silently like no one knew I exsisted. No one cared about me at the time, you knew that I was bound to be all alone in my life of how I was. I just wished it wasn't you but **** you stole my heart this beatiful year.
Year 2 - It was young love for the both of us, I taken it rough cause I was so in love with you I loved spending my time with you, even when we drank, you treated me like your girlfriend. But I had those dark days where it bugged me that I loved you most and I spent most of my days with you which I could've did way much better with schooling and all that other stuff but I managed then people really started to care about me but I didn't care about their care about me cause I know I was bound to be alone, after they starting really looking for me and realized that I was with you but they couldn't do anything about it, was too late for that now.
Year 3 - I'm sure it was in the winter, you got into trouble with playing with guns, and jailed for a week, and you couldn't be around the community due to danger to the community for a year. I decided to move to the city where you were staying, I didn't mind the city but at the time I started seeing someone from the community, I missed you but I also missed the community and I couldn't do this anymore babysitting and not being able to get my freedom. you had to go get into more trouble in the city when I left and got more jail time you were gone for a long while.
Year 4 - Things weren't working out for you and me. I know that you really wanted me back. But I was with someone else and he didn't want to let me go, he kept me silent like he was ashamed to have me or just didn't want to show me off. I was starting to become his joke or whatever I can call it. I loved him, he's kept in the dark from his family but accepted by my family. Could say I was with him for like a year, till he really started to see someone from the city. I left him I'm angry cause he was a keeper but man he is dark so I kind of didn't like that, hiding on me whenever he wanted like I was never apart of his life. I got fed up of this and left it hurted but it didn't hurt as much as losing my first love.
Year 5 - We aparted. My second love I left him or we just wanted to apart. I wanted my true lover back I did whatever I wanted to do. All adult and what not and no one can stop me now and no one can do anything too. I pray that I haven't chosed the wrong path. with this guy I'm hoping to be his partners in crime. I'm back with you my love, I did tell you that I love you cause you wanted to hear it and I never said it to you ever till that night. Our birthdays are coming up, I'm looking forward to spending it with you.
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 11:34 PM UTC
you played to pursudae
my golden parade
into your midnight blue finger tips--
to hinder me to beg to be a part of the edge of your lips
oh young man why do you throw me in your bed like that
and touch my ribs and sides the way leaves touch the ground in autumn
your palms have left invisable marks along the small of my back
dont make me loose whatever is left inside of my thoughts
the waves of eminent energy that rush down your masculinity
as I simply watch adorning every crevice of anything that ever exsisted inside of you
and everytime I noticed this passion grew
---
and I always seemed to notice
when I felt blindness and artless
your name skipped in my blood
----
and I am no longer heartless
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 7:19 PM UTC
She walked alone.
As the world droned.
With the fog swirling round.
Along the wet grassy mound.
Among the dead trees of autumn.
That flapped in the cold breeze as they hummed.
Distant lights of morning twinkled round her.
Slightly, unsteady, getting brighter.
She hastened away into the gloom of the dawn.
Upon God she wished to fawn.
To instill her hopes into the earth.
To regain her place of birth.
Thither, under a shading sycamore.
Lied a gloomy tomb of yore.
Staring back at her silently.
As if wishing to embrace her ardently.
Thither lied her silent love...
Corrupted through seasons that roved.
Left untouched in the dark.
Like a fading mark.
He used to be a handsome man.
Swaggering along his Father's land.
Smiling at the promise of the day.
Dancing his nights away.
She wist where she had seen him for the very first time.
When the church bell chimed.
When sons of God filled the cold emptiness.
To calm the world's restlessness.
She touched her love affectionately.
For the last time before she left reluctantly.
With tears her eyes dimmed.
She would always come back for him.
She and the tomb shared an old story only they wist.
Of feelings she could never resist.
Her longing for his presence.
Though only exsisted in silence.
Dec 16, 2010
Dec 16, 2010 at 4:44 AM UTC
I would have crossed galaxies for you,
we could have exsisted in our own universe.
But you threw my love into the abyss and
snap
erased my memory.
What did it cost?
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 1:29 PM UTC
maybe this is what you want
goodmorning to a smile
goodnight to a smile
humming in the heart of someone unfathomable
light hearted and untainted
maybe but only slightly
but just not enough
to feel the rigid edges
to know that they are always there
I dont deserve this
maybe thats it
your light heartedness
my soul merely corrupt and haunted
stained and discolored over and over
the same spots
by my life
my lovely life
that I accept and appreciate
for showing me what I know
a painful world that you never exsisted in is
where I spent my nights as a child
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 8:00 PM UTC
Time stood still that day, for me it never really caught back up again . I can still see that black smudge mark on the pristine white wall, it was what I focused on thoughout the pain,
You entered my world and within seconds you left again, I'll never forget that eerie silence,with just the ticking of the clock to be heard, and the nurse's face, how quickly the colour drained.
I knew at that moment but I still waited, hoping to hear the cry that never happened.Now I'm left with an emptiness no one can fill, The worst thing was the waiting, hearing cries from all other room except this one... but wait there were cries here, mine.
How can they tell me to move on?
How can they make out you never exsisted?
I still have the swollen ******* that have harden where you're not there to suckle the milk from them, I still see mum's with their newborns in the street, yet I come home and your room is empty where they packed your things away and repainted it a dull yellow.
I want to scream, but I don't, I just give a small smile, what's the point of saying anything they think I need help anyway.
You were a part of me, everytime you moved I felt it, I knew when you had hiccups cause it felt like a bouncing ball in my stomach,and at night you reminded me you were still there with your kicks to my ribs I'd already fallen in love with you, maybe that's why time can't move on, for I pray to go back to the seconds before that final push, when you and I were still connected, maybe than I could change the outcome, but that's not going to happen is it?
What I can't understand is why, why let the whole nine months go by so fantastically, I was glowing now my world is dark, just darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel.
I pray you saw that light and it took you to that better place, where one day we'll meet again. Until that day my life will be stuck reliving those seconds you were still there inside of me, I'll still feel your heart beating next to mine, and you will not have died.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 8:54 AM UTC
In all my years I never thought
Love would be like this,
That when I met my soul mate it would be
Three seperate pieces of the same picture.
When I met my best friends,
I had no idea what I was in for.
I didn't know love like theirs
Exsisted in the world.
When I say their love moves mountains,
What I mean is that with it,
You could move the earth into
Your own design.
When I say that their love is the
Ocean tide I mean that they are
The tidal waves that clear
Cities from the coasts.
It is powerful and unyeilding
Because they look into my darkness
And tell me Im worth more
Than the stars in the sky.
For the first time in my life
I can look in the mirror and see
What they see.
This is what true love is.
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 20, 2016 at 5:09 PM UTC
See, You and Me
We
exsisted on the same plane
but in two different worlds
something like a million miles apart
And I spent
lighyears
trying to bridge the gap
but when I'd laid my last brick
and couldn't even lift my arms,
there was no one to meet me at
the halfway point.
And maybe hindsight is 20/20
but I know my eyes
were good enough the first time around
I caught everything. but
in an attempt to keep the peace,
to keep the wheels greased,
I drop ball after ball.
Until the floor was
so littered with marbles
I couldn't help but fall.
The crash awoke demons
even I hadn't met
yet
Now they spend their days
lazily tugging at my thoughts
And their nights chasing sleep away
So when I say I'm tired
it goes well beyond
anything
your god could
ever
imagine.
Because I carry 3 crosses
on each shoulder,
and I've wandered this desert a lot longer than
Mr. Heston
But you couldn't see any of that.
So I grabbed a torch and
made my way to the end
of my architecture,
only to remember:
There isn' even
a bridge to burn!
So I ate the flame
and extinguished my inner light.
Now I only shine at night
reflecting the moon
flowing like the tide.
Dec 2, 2010
Dec 2, 2010 at 1:03 PM UTC
I brokedown forth right into this eloquent state
smiles rub my warmth
and I melt harder
and harder
into breathing easily
easier then anything that ever exsisted
easier than the cool winds that blow
through your hair and then in between my sighs
and I sat down and held my knees together
on top of the wet grass where I use to remember
hearing the sweetest lullabys of childhood
crashing themeselves into my body
and I melt harder
and harder
into breathing more so easily
easier then the time I looked into your eyes and your london left its burning letter
and easier then the time I fully built up the
guts to walk away from the building where only the
floor had been built
and I closed my eyes
as I danced on top of the ruins the wars inside of me left behind
I threw my heart into the sky
forgetting the fear of having it fall on nothing
and then giving into something in that
old old world
of nothing
happiness persecutes everything inside of me
and I melt harder
and harder
into breathing more easily
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 7:54 PM UTC
I can't take your calls anymore
Something's just not right with your mind
I can't stand the way you try to control the things you can't help in your life
Because even when the skys are blue
Your still living in a tragedy
And even when its going good
Your still impossible to deal with
I wish you could see yourself
Take a good hard look
I wish you could just be yourself
Your trying to impress the world
But your just another mindless, failing robot
Circling the depths of nonsense and chaos
You're a product of the dogma that comsumes the currupted mind
One that stabs uncertainty with darkness instead of light
But somethings are not exactly what they seem
Sometimes I'm forced to drown in echoed ****** screams
And pretend to be somewhere else in this misery
I'll pretend you were only trying to protect me
As I wish upon another hopeless, dimming shooting star
Concentrate on anything else but this headache you make pound on my brain
If only magic exsisted
And I had it in me
To just fly out of this nightmare and into the sky
Would you leave me alone and stop calling
Because I can't take your phone calls anymore
May 21, 2013
May 21, 2013 at 7:22 PM UTC
Our love still exists
on the park by the river,
and our love still exists
in the back of your pickup truck.
It’s sad to know
that you can love someone
with your whole heart,
and be wrong for them.
That you can love someone
so deeply and
have it not work out.
I love you
doesn’t work
when you’re a little too late.
I love you doesn’t work,
when you’ve walked away.
Yes, our love still exists
on your old worn out couch.
Our love still exists
somewhere, out there
but not here.
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 4:08 PM UTC
Many people consider travelling around the world
to be an adventure.
You see some place, the picture is there and that's it.
Where is the adventure there?
Talking to an individual discovering their characteristics,
manners,
thoughs,
patterns,
habits,
lovers.
Unravelling the most mysterious to science and never mentioned in religion-BRAIN.
The best adventure ia having a deep converstation
Caused by unstoppable sensation
To feel someone else's abyss.
Seems like our thoughts are the never ending
And always reacurring treasure we are looking for.
Dig and dig and dig..
Most of them are afraid what are they going to do with so much treasure.
Unable to whield it and create a better future with their vivid imagination
They leave it alone, wondering behind a dark door, locked away in their mind always beeing there for their master-like a ******* dog.
Good thing I am a sinner so my mind doors are black-darknes can't absorb my colored imagination.
No matter how hard you try to hold the door closed, your colors will always try to get out.
You can't run away from who you are.
One shall always strike to unravel him or herself
After all, we wouldn't have exsisted if all our layers were on.
If that is the case, then why am I walking around
Never seeing a person with deep intellectual knowledge ?
Why aren't they asking themselves the major questions?
Why aren't they looking for meaningful lovers?
Why aren't they appreciating the loyal friends?
The ability to learn should have been given to
Snails, they would've been faster in discovering themselves than we humans are.
Jan 28, 2019
Jan 28, 2019 at 1:27 PM UTC
Galaxies form in the smoke
They spin and dance in sun rays
I exhale again creating a new existance
The evil windows breeze scatters my creation
The universe is but a fleeting glimpse of reality
blown from the corners of our eyes
Fragile and delicate
Floating along in the hurricane of time
Destroyed and reborn in the spiritual ebb and flow
Exhale and spark a supernova
Inhale and swallow a black hole
We are all gods
The same god
Particles of everything that ever exsisted
on earth is in the air we breath
I am Earth
Earth is me
Earth created me
and i contribute to its future attributes
So i will exhale love
I will exhale hope
I will exhale heaven
I will just breathe
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 6:11 PM UTC
The stage was set, warm sandy beach under a blanket of overcast.
A smile takes over the frown that once existed.
I throw my arms to the sky, screaming to the world that you're mine.
You twist me around and tilt my chin up.
Our lips, the perfect incumbent.
Passion explodes around us as a ray of light illuminates
the space around us; the clouds have parted.
My heartbeat picks up and I hold tight to you.
The clouds close again as you watch me intently.
My muscles lock as if I was meant to hold you.
The stage was set, warm sandy beach under a blanket of overcast. The frown that once exsisted disappears
with the setting sun
Oct 10, 2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 12:25 PM UTC
you represent everything that is most sincere
back in days of kings foul tongue
rapture never exsisted in those black hearts
only the words of the innocent
hands slowly ajoined
streching out slowly like the rose's pedal in her sleep
red and bloodlike
faint like and love like
your gunshot swastica hanging over the bitter palet of my tongue
words spat like fiery arches just go ahead
go along darling
run
run
escape the white fire its thickness
filled with your anomisty
joy
joy
weakness though belittles others
manipulates itself into a indominable
creature in my fists
hung tight
breathing slowly; and my knots
they untwist
I look at the fading blue lines
in these pale wrists
wake up in the mornings
smile, easy brushes of colorful paint
all over my face
strocked down my body and my chest
naked
plundering
blistering
withering
into these sentimental peices
of execution watching the tunic
spots in my vision
creating the resolutions
for a unkept land of twisted
mahogany and trees that
are just too young for me
dirt not ***** enough
you see
my lavender mixes with the wetness
elsewhere and manifest
this purity
female waiting at the end
calmly
lock the heart and rid the fury
I fathom the day shall come
when transgrations are thrown like
hurdels of ordinary minds
refinment and so far away
from you and I
I will wait on my bedded thrown
bleeding, wounded, stabbed and
alone
inject myself over and over
with this temporary happy vaccine
until I am king
and you are
Queen
Dec 7, 2010
Dec 7, 2010 at 10:00 AM UTC
To all the times I spent alone.
All the times I made the same mistakes repeatedly.
All the times I wasted being unhappy.
All the times I spent being heartbroken over some guy I won't even remember 20 years from now.
20 years from now.
It's been awhile since I've thought about that...
In 20 years....
Well, I'd be older for one thing...
Maybe living my dream...
Maybe failed trying...
20 years from now,
I don't know who I'll be,
Where I'll be,
Or what I'll be.
But that's okay.
Because today,
I am happy.
If we spend all of our time thinking about the future, we'd become oblivious to the now.
We have the choice to live or to exsist.
This passed year,
I exsisted.
I didn't do anything too special,
And I wasn't particularly happy either.
In 2013 and every year to follow,
I'm promise to live,
And 20 years from now,
I hope I kept my promise.
Happy New Years everyone!
Dec 29, 2012
Dec 29, 2012 at 1:16 AM UTC
Heads spinning,
Lights dimming,
Reality is hazy,
Am I going crazy?
Nope just a bad trip,
Down a long road,
Less traveled than most,
And almost completely unknown,
This is a feeling,
I don't like experiencing,
Somebody, Stop the ******* room from spinning,
Eyes open,
Mind lingering,
To thoughts I never knew exsisted,
Like i said, just a bad trip.
Jun 28, 2012
Jun 28, 2012 at 1:36 PM UTC
Love in the keys is like a mosquito bite
Its an itch you just have to scratch
yet in the end there are no traces it ever exsisted
But if you dig at it deep enough
it leaves a scar
every now and then
You'll hear a faint and haunting buzz in the night
Its a pest!
Sep 30, 2012
Sep 30, 2012 at 11:26 AM UTC
they tried to take me,
with much force and hurt.
almost all of me,
wasn't how it used to be.
so ashamed and imprisoned,
inside of my cold, worthless body.
though i reached deep down,
to find the last remaining ounce of
hope that i never knew exsisted.
from here on out,
i know that at my roughest,
most tiring days,
they'll always be a little
ray of sunshine peeking out for me.
Feb 1, 2014
Feb 1, 2014 at 2:14 PM UTC
We sat in an awkward silence
your eyes nudging my mind
and there was nothing
but a wounded dieing desire
I simply exsisted beside you
and the look turned into despair
almost unforgiving
as you strummed a few notes
to cut the air
and I wanted to be more in that moment
to rehash a moment of counterfeit joy
just to fake you
to make you smile
I know you've been working at
this tension for months
but I was blank and breathless
while your stare coasted down to the floor
In a way dismissing me
so I walked off
alone I left you
on Christmas morn
Dec 25, 2012
Dec 25, 2012 at 11:58 PM UTC
When I say I love you just know that I mean it
My heart became a coupon that you redeemed its crazy how I've gone all the way over the cheesy moon for you
I knew better exsisted, I didn't know it'd be you.
When I say I'm not giving up I will not rest I'm not gonna let my first real love in sometime go I guess you're stuck with me like I am with you
I go so crazy without I don't know what to do
When I say your beautiful it's like I'm describing a work of art
Your body drunkens my eyes while you cast a spell on my heart
I hope and pray that we never part
I met the woman of my dreams
and over I don't wanna start
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 10:58 PM UTC
Remember, I'm in love
Forget what I was saying
I know there's another name for the emotion you're displaying
Beautiful distorted effigy, have we pushed too far
Can you not see these projections only leave scars
Eyes wide open and it isn't me
I'll just give up where you can't see
How was I to know
I cannot create love
I construct mirrors covered in words
Like stained glass held up to your face
Reflection you,
My one and only sun
Whispering to me softly,
It's time to run
There's no way I can possibly catch you up
Time flys and we just stand still
In quiet condemnation, I made the first ****
No
It isn't me
I'll just give up
Pour me another glass and try keep up
I've exhausted myself and still I'm at a loss
Lights are on but who the **** is home
A flipped switch can't even turn you on
You're just a voice now, inside my head
My sanity is lost here in your bed
We'll call it fair trade,
But it's still never enough
Then the bubble bursts;
is it still really love?
Where's the evidence we ever really exsisted
Just two space cadets who always seem to miss it
Mar 16, 2019
Mar 16, 2019 at 6:11 AM UTC
To be happy is a distant thought
A washed up memory that never really exsisted
Lost in my soul from a place far far away
Dark and cold it lays
Never to return or see the light of day
My whole life I wanted to be happy
But now I'm just content.
Content knowing my destiny is to be a slave to life
Never live. Never have meaning. Never be happy.
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 11:07 PM UTC