"experince" poems
A true realization
maybe an imagination
ore a speculation?
Perhaps even just an experince
but the samples are as thick as your tissue
the memories flowly as the tears
we all let escape from our body
from time to time
Fake friends the hollow
people that desire you
but at the same time envy and despise you
Making it look like you´re paranoid
when you like a crow spread your wings
around them
Reminding them at any moment
you to can cut them as deep
as they wish to bleed you out
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 3:11 PM UTC
It's the feeling that
you aren't just sad about one thing.
You are sad about everything.
Little things.
Big things.
Everything makes you upset.
You end up crying,
And don't really know why.
You can't go to school.
You can't pursue a job.
Not because you are lazy.
Not because you're worthless
Simply the fact that
You can't handle the stress,
Or you're scared of failing.
It makes you scared to do anything,
Really.
You just stay cooped up in your room.
You sleep.
You eat,
on a good day.
You take your meds.
And you just sit.
You lose your social life.
You lose your love.
You lose your passions.
You start to believe dreams are completely
unattainable.
You eventually lose your feelings.
It just makes you feel like
You're going insane.
It's literally the most painful thing in the world to experince.
You want to think better.
Act better.
Be better.
The horrible part is,
You know how to fix it all.
But no one seems to be able to help.
It's really simple things
That would make you happy.
It really is.
But it's like those things are miles away.
Then the vicious cycle begins again.
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013 at 2:31 AM UTC
What is the use of living measure by measure...
That should be some difference between life and dry goods store...
Life is like a flowing stream,
why breathe as if we're frozen in an icecream..,,
life is not lived stuck in narrow alleys..,
we need to spread our wings in open fields..,
why can't just a smile be d answer to life.??
Why can't love be the ultimate goals.??
Experince each day like its a precious gift..
What is the use of living measure by measure...
That should be some differnce between life and a dry goods store......
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 1:05 AM UTC
Reality is a blur, a foggy consistant blur.
Everyday is the same melancholic routine.
10 on the dot.
One sunnyside up egg with a toasted sourdough slice.
Citrus tea with honey and an amusing podcast to prepare.
Slap on foundation and eyeliner, to look somewhat "happy" for a straining workday to come.
Thank god for the coming 4 hours there, my mind is of spotless.
Not a thought of you comes inching in my deserted cold mind in those 4 hours.
As soon as I punch out and put away the fake smiles of the workday, you pop right up.
This in general is not bad in a way that I loathe you, the memory of you,
But bad in a way that I miss you.
Enormously.
The old routine was much more methodically medicore but it was pure ******* beyond happiness.
Up at 9, waffles with milk, with tv in the background.
As I can not fathom the desire to be at work already.
Walking in, I longed to see your deep icy blues that just melted me instantly as soon as I saw them,
Into a puddle, there I go.
Their target are aimed towards my ungraceful demeanor, it still shocks me through out my whole body.
Tingling, Inviting and Warm.
Feelings I felt everytime you nearby, I instantly knew it was you.
Present day.
As I drive towards what seems to be another morrow towards the vapid and grave, I look for you.
I felt those blues that day of a party.
I felt them as I walked away from a group conversation.
I felt them as I mourned the loss of someone.
I felt those blues that first night.
The night we met.
Vanilla ice cream, in the cold air and a life changing experince we both intuned.
Instinctively, I trust its profoundly there to you too.
Even now and till your departing day.
I felt those blue eyes.
As much sorrow and grief it brings me always, and probably will be till my final and sweet death,
I dream back to the days I would walk in, and melt in my puddle, as I felt and longed for those icy blues.
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 4:47 AM UTC
Experience is an unlimited teacher a teacher with no limits is brutal because the lessens are a river of emotions that spin your heart in every direction a world without experience is a never ending circle of nothing we all have to face experience if we don't we will all be the same experince builds us up to who we are today.
Mar 5, 2013
Mar 5, 2013 at 7:26 PM UTC
The world is a tough place to manuever.
But it's worth it.
The knowledge and experince you gain proves it.
When you personally feel you can't go on.
Realize you serve no one by ending it quick.
Sure.
It's not easy.
If your inner strength is weak.
But prove to those you feel don't understand you.
That you understand you.
When anything concerning life is done quick.
You leave many wondering and pondering.
It's not easy.
You are love.
Truly love.
Even by those you never knew.
Accept, you thought the world is against you.
Jul 27, 2012
Jul 27, 2012 at 11:41 AM UTC
they say “griefing is part of life that heals you”
but if its apart of yourself that you want to ****
because you are filled with so much guilt.
but you want to rebuild, yet feel so unfulfilled
wanting the experince for the thrill
while being still and stagnant
forming detachments
Mar 4, 2021
Mar 4, 2021 at 1:13 AM UTC
Want, is not strong enough
Lust, is not strong enough
Hate, is not strong enough
Frustration, is not strong enough
Perhaps nothing will console the coals in my soul,
Help me experince the things that will make me whole.
Oct 26, 2012
Oct 26, 2012 at 2:40 PM UTC
Final Letter
When you look at me what do you see
Are my eyes like the surface to something as deep as the open sea
Am I a head full of dreams unable to face reality
A writer who turns his demons into a plot
Am I a crazy person crying for help
A suicidal individual trying to find to death?
Am I an empty hollow with nothing left, a shell of my former self
Or was I always empty and kept the façade so we could remain friends
You say I'm going through the motions I wish that’s how you can describe my emotions
Slow death and I still can’t get grasp for why awoken,
Waste of space I tell you lies just to save face
But under surface I am in an abyss
I use to wish my existence wouldn’t be missed
I could disappear
Without care
With no one I love having to shed a tear
Or wish I was still there
Ending it feels like my only escape
Or thats how I use to think before I became selfless
Spread the dream
To taste love and pain
To live long enough to eventually experince it again
To Become Significant Once Again
Jun 21, 2018
Jun 21, 2018 at 12:05 PM UTC
Rainclouds,
They always seem to block the way.
The rain was cold,
My mind hurt and ached.
Life was in turmoil,
And I hated myself more everyday.
Then I let go to experince a new day.
I began to sing, play, forget,
And try to live for my own sake.
It all felt hopeless,
I ran as far as I could,
But never got away.
I thought of a beach,
A mistake that made me pay.
It hurt more and more,
As the clouds turned into a hurricane.
Everything began to break,
My will to live away.
Then one day,
A ray of sunshine,
Broke through my pain.
No longer the same pattern,
Damaged my brain.
I began to live life in a new way.
I wanted to live.
I wanted to make all the rain clouds go away.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 3:20 PM UTC
It is not crash, it's simple motive
Tobacco burns and seen an hour
River waters and the syllable hurts
Space measure inside itself
Leashes of knowledge of love and recreation
Turn a soul of thought of last to the corn now
So experince of memory, ideas, consciousness are attached
Finding as a greater than just a power to the interior
Illustration of scene, end of the issue
Here is a term, but a verge it is easy, it is existence(Dasein).
I have looked up my eyes to branches of oak and in process of learning book
Choosing the way for everybody and nobody
Thus bearing of absence
I learned of grass, opening a copybook.
Overview shooting of completeness of world
The son and the father - the way to Tarkovsky
Opening I have absorbed system halls
I waited so much and decided, that i will create from myself in out of
What was apropriated to God as a purpose.
It is important to say - the new subject
This is the world in which i could believe myself(Inside world).
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 3:47 AM UTC