Shuffling through my emotions I relive all of my days. I look at the triumphs and failures and think about different things. I pull at the layers of my inner self to find out who I am inside. I look for some reason for knowing love, fearing what it is that I might find. With know sense left in my spirit, I dare not chance this to fate. If I make one mistake, it could end the gift I have been given. So I carefully dissect my heart to know that my love is sure. Because I cannot never find this gift again, because I have found perfection in you.

In a scribble
grammar-sphere
Covid-spastic-wormholes
from a new world intelligence.

Come on dudes this is a personal invite
who-ever own the guru-rules out there
come clear make contact
let's boogie on Bach
eat together with Spock,
vegans are welcome too
no disecting
no probes
no props
only sunlight strobes
just the few of us
a humpback tv
Danny Glover, Aeon flux
and Spielberg,
indulged in mars bars and smoked-yeast,
if the kitchen heats up I'll offer you
oil Sheik in galaxian crude dip with
elongated Musk on fire and ice.

bright eyed, indian style
we sat and smiled, while
the world conquered our brains

my peers and I,
we grew up under the same light
learned about life
from one hand guiding us through time
the other, hard-wiring our mind

our secrets splashed, staining the walls
our footprints danced down the halls
and my friends found their rolls
but i never found mine
too busy self disecting
in hopes that I'd feel whole
but my brain believed  
that love between a man and woman was the only acceptable kind
i grew 15 years believing in my brain that this was true
until my heart insisted on a different view
feeling broken down to my core
i realized, brain or heart I had to choose
i had to end this civil war
not realizing my mind is what I'd loose

There are many dimensions of my complex personality
Some deem it a flaw, I think it makes me unique
Therefore it's not just one certain thing
That keeps men I've crossed paths with
Coming back to me

It's my intricate mind
That have men spending their valuable time
Disecting and learning
And constantly yearning
Exactly who I be

It's the joy in my voice
That leaves men no absolute choice
To continue to dial my number
Leaving them to wonder
Exactly who I am

It's the genuine feeling that they receive
Every single time that they lock eyes with me
It's the hint of my sensuality
My mysterious smile
That reveals that this good girl can definitely be wild
Yes, they all want to know who is she?

Since I am so complex
And at times more of a challenge then the next
It seems that men are more drawn to me
They want to have an exciting journey
They want to see
If they can indeed compete
They want to know exactly
What it is about little ol' me
That keeps them intrigued
Any time that we meet
But most men are so shallow
So for them I'm just too deep

So they wound up drowning
And I in return save them
Once they get their breathing back on track
And know for a fact
They're still alive
They strive to get to me
Because they still want to see
Exactly what is was about me
That had them so intrigued
So they all eventually
Drift back to me

the templars can sing all they want... we're dealing with really sick people with the insurrection of the nag hammadi library!

kaptur...
   of a monk's hood...
           kapć -
slipper -
      noun-verb translation,
for some reason,
other than what the orthodox
people state it being...
     but how would you
ascribe the trill to R using the existing
diacritical marks?
  and example...
   a monk's hood:
  kaptur      v.                      káptür:
both instances exist and are equally
justifiable - let's suppose there is
a need to add a diacritical mark on
one of the consonants,
k? no... due to c and q...
            p?         papa pa... no...
     t?   † or st. andrew's X?
        no... r... R though... i can revise the vowels
to embody syllables... acute a to cut up
the word: ka-     like a bad crow onomatopoeia...
  -ptoor          hence the umlaut doubling up
      on the U parabola...
        ::                       ::                     ::                  ::
but i want the trill R! i want the sign denoting
that it should be "rolled"... rattled...
the rattle snake symbol...
                  no, not the french vogue of
levitating it toward the hark... the phlegm consonant...
i don't want that... ȑ? i.e. " above the r?
              it's a real word though...
the word: kap-tur.
                      a monk's hood...
               and depending on how you engage
disecting a word according to the rule of syllables...
there's a higher power that also dissects words:
diacritical markings, that was invested in
by guidance of the thought: it will make it easier...
evidently it made it harder...
               funny me, in the 21st century pointing
this out.
e.g.              : + u = o        
                       dot dot... join up the dots for a circle
and then say: : + u = oo.
                                        ooh! steven fry playing
                 *austin powers! yeah baby! yeah!

.alt. title? drunk's acrobatics, but prior to? nazis nazis nazis, my grandfather doesn't have bad memories of the soldiers clad in black coco chanel numbers occupying my town of birth... he remembers: herr! herr! bitte bonbon! and they would give him sweets so sickly that my great-grandmother would have to put his hands under the tap to unstick them... even some otto *******wasn't a bad man, he was a soldier, he probably had a wife and children... he was human: not a part of some modern cult following of a horde of mythological evil... i once mentioned the name: krupps to my grandfather, he, having worked in the metallurgy industry clearly remembers the krupp family... i mean, magnificent feats of engineering: krupp K5, schwerer gustav... the gustav? come on... compared to the soviet OTR-21 tochka? ha ha... and why prevail with the cultural significance of nazis? movies, video games... worthy opponents? i can't see them like the sort of fetish they are for the modern soviet antithesis left in the west... even in poland the youth will say: zz-top - sharp-dressed men... wehrmacht's M40 and M43 Heer uniforms... everyone can agree: the best dressed army in history... which leaves me with a fetish for the german language from time to time... i just can't help it... besides... ah... the sub-plot title... drunk's acrobatics... well, it's England, it's June, Wimbledon is in full swing, cricket: england will face off australia and lose the semi-final, india will play ne zealand and win, australia will win the world cup... but it's so hot, or so humid... come morning i either fall out of bed and continue sleeping on the cool wooden floor, or, like i did yesterday, go into the corridor and sleep on the wooden floor there... mid-dream wake up call from the heat... thinking i was still in bed about to fall onto the floor from a height of half a meter... fall: i did... from the corridor landing onto... the ******* stairs! 1.7m fall onto a ******* zig-zag of gradual elevation... and upon reaching my final destination just shy of my head being split open on the kaloryfer (radiator) i woke up just a little bit more and simply utter: o kurwa (o' kurva... oh ****)... drunk's luck... minor aches / bruises the next day... head feels a little bit wonky... like i put on a kippah to the side of my head like a bowler hat donned by jack lemmon in the apartment (1960)... like icarus / lucifer head first a-grade drunken acrobatic dive into the unknown... seemigly picked up and thrown off the landing... pure magic... clearly. again: the left is really obessing about nazis, i'm starting to suspect they have a secret fetish for the uniforms, that they want them to return... they are seemingly searching for their ******* unicorns, their mythological army of satan... while there was poor otto *******saying: bitte mein gott: ein morgen und ein weißwurst und pumpernickel für frühstück; doesn't get simpler than that.

apparently it's become pointless
stripping someone
to a pronoun,
            given the "gender neutral"
modus operandi,
  of the existentialists' "i",
ditto: being designated,
    "worthwile",
   to the confines of the maxim:
to angels - vision
of god's throne;
          to insects -
   sensual lust...
              mind you,
   when weren't
       the emblems of,
said region,
              digested within /
by the confines
     of the ivory cavern;
limp phallus,
        dry *****...
              dry mouth
and a wet tongue...
       synonym of
            talking: a deßert;
note:
    punctuation marks
(apparently),
   are not best
synchronised with
conjunctions...
          which sounds
like a grammatical
enigma, that are not best,
   but so does **** sapiens:
which stems from
nomadic right to left,
             wise, man...
any further blah blah
and you concern yourself
with extracting
toilet paper...
        or, whether or not,
111 via the ****
    subsequently smeared
across a wall is
not the most perfect
        archetype of graffiti...
     siarka...
                sulphur is a word
with a- priori
         connotations,
    stressing the hyphen
"prefix"...
                    denoting:
without a prior example...
   an etymological cul de sac...
a dodo...
                           συλφoρ...
because disecting a word:
  συλ-                -φoρ?
                sol associated with
the spontaneity of phren?
        history is but
one narrative...
           but what became
of the hammer and the sickle,
became the tongue and scythe:
  
                  für
                       freiheit!

said a poem,
     objecting to the confines
of, paragraph,
         stating:
                     myopia, darin!

You are a crowded intersection
Ebullient bloating, churn
Bustling with acquaintances

They know your name
Know your way, but see you mearly as an impass
Navigated with neither choice nor decision
Route without resistance
Path of least conviction
A jumping of point
Endeavors formulated; yet your corridors are never considered

No exceptional exemptions
Chimerical observers,  are shuffled and thumb  Fulminant prostration; muddling insertion
Maudlin automaton corral

An adverse opposition, preferring to evaluate you at night
Your gaslit candescence reaches in all directions
Ebbing lambency traversing space
Conveyance of curious possibility

Enveloped in your vacancy
Swaddling spances; rampart wrapping
Quarantined and completely mine

Somber meditation tranquility
All of my substance settling to a manhole center
Shedding all my persistent memories
Unencumbered relife; unfettered elation
Ravishing beatitude exaltation
Distracting detraction
Time abstractedly trickling away

Disecting rays of light clutching the arc of the Plutonian horizon
Stampeding hordes in infinite single file lines
Sieging you from every direction
Like a colony of ants disintegrating a discarded carcass
You are gone

What did you think recipe is
Eminem manifest destiny is
I should quit pathetic
I get it.
Like a ***** flick.
******* before
Actors practicing  exiting
Amityville. Damnd if he will.
Say yes to the dress again
Hand at the wheel
Transgender
Extraterestrial
Disecting pedestrians
Like genesis
Not scripture.
Talking the saga.
Rather the myth the legendary legolas.
The ring is a curse
Dwarfed when its
next to this
Fear of rejection
Of an obsession
sick. As dimensia medicine
For  Vietnam veterans
Dimensional benefits.
Like **** size in a tetris fit.
Its minus 77 red ink
Red face imbellishment
Period like a 7.7 point deficite.
You faking. Your pregnant
You got a point
But the ketchup smears selling it
Think in heinz sight ill
Invest in it

Interest percentage
Lending attention
To your
******
Mentorship
The way you handle
Your staff.
Like a 7.7 point deficite
Is inches in industry.
And your **** just invented it.
X y factor equation
Next gen tech there developing
Exposes. Plot holes.
Oh no science returns
To relish this ****
Like *** with ketchup
Mayo take your ***
Away I dont beef so lettuce
Be friends again

Flirting with ***
And eminems ****** instruments.
You know you sound
Oblivious.
And frivolous. To all the men
You had casual *** and ****
Like you didn't know
They all had *****
When they hit that ****.
Okay thats actually rediculous


***** who you pretending with
Cut with the sob stories.
Difference in indifference
Is pretending you different
Heed Goliath for what he is
And aim at deliverance
No affidavids
Daily diligence
Or brain games
At millennial
intelligence.
Pass as female satire.
Or be fire and flame
As hot as turbo chrmical accelerant
Wreck it Ralph
And Hectors ******
Hetero deceptive
Secretive intelligence
I got a
Masculine past
Relax your a mannequin
Still **** and
My fashion staying relevant
Your ******* it up.
Cha just kidding  bro your cellibut
Switch up with the rhyme scheme
Though
Like a flow from
The west side of heavens bed


Frame persuasive arguments
Like a painting from karmin
Or my dead aunty Margaret
Clothes and
Garments
Marked for bargain basement
Retail prices noone can argue with

Fashion on bark. Talking dog park
Evaluation. **** yeah bag it *****  and walk with it
If you got **** from
My corner store. I got a deal we can spark it quick
Like a moth drawn to a lamp
Or a cigarette **** to the carpet
I'm probably the
Dissatisfied customer.
Returning my product for bargain chip.
Its not defective. Just not selected
By the demographic we marketed
We targeted an audience.
And relentlessly marketed
But the target market.
Wasn't smart enough
To scarf it in.
I guess there not starved.
Like your *******
Heart for him.
******* martyr sin
I just bought my own *******
**** I marketed

For the record
This whole things dumb and ******
Marshall Mathers *****.
And ketchups never good on subs
My fashion isn't relevant.
Mann again.
With plastic mannequins
Chemical  imbalances
Of us

The ring is actually a curse
And tetris never fits.
Its a two dimension  curse.
Goliath was a *****
David put him to the dirt.
And the deficite. Would be less
If you put the period first.
Whats the point. I'm dotting
Eyes. Crossdress tease em with the verse.
*** the beat is never thumping
Less theres living
People in the hurst