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"crapper" poems
Strange question indeed, So I asked one and all; Explain to me: “What's a plumber's ball?” Family and friends Heeded my call, But none could confine, Refine or define it, Yet Paul was sure He could design it. Still, none could satisfy My caterwaul: “What the hell is a plumber's ball?” Does it sweat the pipe Or wiggle the snake: Can it clamp the ****** For Heaven's sake? Could it snap on the cock-hole cover? All these queries Made me wonder. Has it something to do With hardness leakage, Or ******** the ball-cock To stop a seepage? Has it anything to do With a saddle valve dripping, Electric eels, Or two pipes mating? And, I heard of male and female fittings, And should I worry If I'm standing or sitting? If you're discharging the head Or elongating the pipe, Does the plumber's ball Help it snug tight? Is it in my tank, Or in my bowl, Beneath the floor Near the drainage hole? Is the plumber's ball In the back of the truck (Jeff laughed and said One could rub it for luck). I asked Michel If he could tell, He sensed it was something He could smell. I sought out Ray, Perhaps he'd know, But he was on call To restrain a back-flow. I couldn't ask Gary For his wisdom and sense, He was wigglin' the snake To unclog a wet vent. Henry, Rick, Scotty and Brian, Gave shameless answers I couldn't rely on. It's not a crapper, tail piece Or Johnnie-bolt, Or catch basin, reamer, O-ring or pipe dope. So I searched the Net With a fool's wonder, And read of ball-checks, Gas ***** and plungers. I know it's too late To ask Rolly or Ross, For both of them knew, And that's our loss. And Ernie's gone golfing So I can't ask the Boss. With final resolve I fell to my knees, To pray St. Ferrer With grace intercede. His silence left me In a state of depression; Had Ferrer washed his hands Of the plumbing profession? So nothing could settle My wherewithal, I still didn't know, What's a plumber's ball? Suddenly, it hit me, He's never wrong, The Dalai Lama of dip-tubes, I'll ask John. Where others did falter, John's a rock: He knows the difference Between a gas and ball **** With a knowing smile He embraced our Hall: Here, good friend, is your Plumbers' Ball.
0
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 9:10 AM UTC
What's a Plumber's Ball
Strange question indeed, So I asked one and all; Explain to me: “What's a plumber's ball?” Family and friends Heeded my call, But none could confine, Refine or define it, Yet Paul was sure He could design it. Still, none could satisfy My caterwaul: “What the hell is a plumber's ball?” Does it sweat the pipe Or wiggle the snake: Can it clamp the ****** For Heaven's sake? Could it snap on the cock-hole cover? All these queries Made me wonder. Has it something to do With hardness leakage, Or ******** the ball-cock To stop a seepage? Has it anything to do With a saddle valve dripping, Electric eels, Or two pipes mating? And, I heard of male and female fittings, And should I worry If I'm standing or sitting? If you're discharging the head Or elongating the pipe, Does the plumber's ball Help it snug tight? Is it in my tank, Or in my bowl, Beneath the floor Near the drainage hole? Is the plumber's ball In the back of the truck (Jeff laughed and said One could rub it for luck). I asked Michel If he could tell, He sensed it was something He could smell. I sought out Ray, Perhaps he'd know, But he was on call To restrain a back-flow. I couldn't ask Gary For his wisdom and sense, He was wigglin' the snake To unclog a wet vent. Henry, Rick, Scotty and Brian, Gave shameless answers I couldn't rely on. It's not a crapper, tail piece Or Johnnie-bolt, Or catch basin, reamer, O-ring or pipe dope. So I searched the Net With a fool's wonder, And read of ball-checks, Gas ***** and plungers. I know it's too late To ask Rolly or Ross, For both of them knew, And that's our loss. And Ernie's gone golfing So I can't ask the Boss. With final resolve I fell to my knees, To pray St. Ferrer With grace intercede. His silence left me In a state of depression; Had Ferrer washed his hands Of the plumbing profession? So nothing could settle My wherewithal, I still didn't know, What's a plumber's ball? Suddenly, it hit me, He's never wrong, The Dalai Lama of dip-tubes, I'll ask John. Where others did falter, John's a rock: He knows the difference Between a gas and ball **** With a knowing smile He embraced our Hall: Here, good friend, is your Plumbers' Ball.
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95
Five minute street artists and insomnia mongers. ****** drunk blondes and finger snapping phat booties. Street geniuses bred by Machiavellian philosophies cypher dreams over tokes of marijuana smoke. Color worshipping narcotic traffickers,   and bread winners parole corners sporting fitted caps and twisting fingers. Senile war veterans beg for change in cardboard boxes from the American dreams they afforded. Hard workers with every ethnicity molded into each pore of their face, rub shoulders with tourists at traffic stops barely escaping tires crushing their feet. Sartorial geniuses with no pants switch hips in knock-off stellos heels, selling the origin of the world on avenues next to Arab Halal food. Cooperate ties and blue collars chafe ***** on subways. nodding in and out of Daily News articles   while oxygen blessed by asparagus **** pump through their noses. Summa *** laude number runners dictate economies From sky-crapper offices, And powered rain swallows their concrete each winter, With no apologies.
0
Jun 2, 2011
Jun 2, 2011 at 11:01 PM UTC
New York.
.                                                 what? between MC hammer... and men at work... there's a choice? come on... you could have given me an easier question, like... Debussy contra Satie... or, like...   egg yolk or egg white?! point being... i'd love to see christopher lambert play the role of raiden in that... mortal kombat game made into a motion picture... you know... if i owned a PS2... i'd still be a gamer... but i never owned a PS2.... or the metal gear solid 2 gaming experience... not the PS1 experience fighting ****** mantis*... you know that hack / cheat... when you switch controller slots... when ****** mantis* is giving his grandiose speech.. and you switch the controller ports, so that in in the game you're not predictable...    final fantasy 7?! completed it with a walk-through... sorry... homework... that being said: all of Friday night and all of Saturday morning... and some Tenchu.... wacky-Jacky...       cow later chow, enter mein...            choppers chop chop... these days? i game...            when i take a **** i figured... if there are people who take a book to the crapper... i'll take a game...     war robots....       you know what's fascinating? the interactive applicability of a game...                      team-work... mesmerizing...                 the whole gaming structure drifted from a narrative, to a congregational dynamism... solipsism unraveled... i dig the whole team work, while taking a **** love it... 5 stars review...      but am i a gamer... do i not think that a.i. is a revamp of Pinocchio? no...      but metal gear solid? a ******* solid game on PS1...        you would be talking to a gamer if i was allowed to buy a PS2 console...          oh right...   i read books and listened to music, and ended up writing anti-routine / anti-technicality poetry / anti-rhyme poetics....                                       my bad; "we're" calling a revision of chess in play; yeah... sorry...    i was never into paragraphs, with dialogue interludes... for me...   poems were always above a structural stature of paragraphs; something to do with haiku or... whatever came out of Godzilla's mouth.
0
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 11:05 PM UTC
simple questions for simple people
.                                                 what? between MC hammer... and men at work... there's a choice? come on... you could have given me an easier question, like... Debussy contra Satie... or, like...   egg yolk or egg white?! point being... i'd love to see christopher lambert play the role of raiden in that... mortal kombat game made into a motion picture... you know... if i owned a PS2... i'd still be a gamer... but i never owned a PS2.... or the metal gear solid 2 gaming experience... not the PS1 experience fighting ****** mantis*... you know that hack / cheat... when you switch controller slots... when ****** mantis* is giving his grandiose speech.. and you switch the controller ports, so that in in the game you're not predictable...    final fantasy 7?! completed it with a walk-through... sorry... homework... that being said: all of Friday night and all of Saturday morning... and some Tenchu.... wacky-Jacky...       cow later chow, enter mein...            choppers chop chop... these days? i game...            when i take a **** i figured... if there are people who take a book to the crapper... i'll take a game...     war robots....       you know what's fascinating? the interactive applicability of a game...                      team-work... mesmerizing...                 the whole gaming structure drifted from a narrative, to a congregational dynamism... solipsism unraveled... i dig the whole team work, while taking a **** love it... 5 stars review...      but am i a gamer... do i not think that a.i. is a revamp of Pinocchio? no...      but metal gear solid? a ******* solid game on PS1...        you would be talking to a gamer if i was allowed to buy a PS2 console...          oh right...   i read books and listened to music, and ended up writing anti-routine / anti-technicality poetry / anti-rhyme poetics....                                       my bad; "we're" calling a revision of chess in play; yeah... sorry...    i was never into paragraphs, with dialogue interludes... for me...   poems were always above a structural stature of paragraphs; something to do with haiku or... whatever came out of Godzilla's mouth.
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91
This red dot i see is what chaos starts as.. Once chaos has flowed out it becomes infared.. The begininng of a galaxy that i can hold in my hands! The copper coin was the center of a dance.. Watch abe get up and do the charleston dance.. Put the coin to my ear and hear the music and dance.. Up and away. Toward and a step back.. Leave my body and come back.. Freaking out i go to the bathroom. Sit on the crapper and do a loop.. Leave my body and enter back on through the back of my skull im awake! Rainbow highway to oblivion.. colorless flowers laugh at me.. I pluck them from the ground and say " whos laughing now.. OH MY GOD IT WAS THE SWEET TARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014 at 4:35 PM UTC
Sweet Tarts
I’ve seen a fiend inside me, who seemed destined to be, so attentive and aggressive at manipulating, these doctors and these nurses whom when they see me, they lock up all the pills, and then they swallow the key. But I moan and I groan to own the script that I seek. Let insurance pay my habit, now my checks spent on **** it might be a life without light, but to me, its alright i’m just fine so stop worrying please. If I need some help then you know, you'll hear it from me. But until then just chill, while i **** these zanies. Once I’m gone then I’m gone and i know that I’m wrong, coping with prescriptions just to string me along. Cause addictions a sickness, and a big ***** to live with. Your mind plays these games, and fools you with tricks which, say it’s okay, and it starts to convince you, you cant walk without your crutches, when life starts to trip you. And thats when it hits you. The fact of the matter. Which gets even sadder. The higher I was, the lower the ladder. The lighter the buzz, the chase even faster. Used to smoke bud, like some just for laughter. But moved onto drugs, that sent my life down to crapper. So i just flushed, and rushed in a new chapter. Not saying I’m perfect, but it works if you work it. I wouldn't say I’m an addict, just a curious person.
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Feb 12, 2013
Feb 12, 2013 at 3:37 AM UTC
Fiend
A locking click the clear is hall a clocking tick is hear I all a rocking drop the near is fall a blocking chop I fear the saw a pampy crapper I nose my hold a campy happer I clothes my fold a fighty scrapper that big is bloke a lighty snapper I cig my smoke! ©2011 Lyn
0
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 9:46 AM UTC
mashmish
*(this poem don't matter much unless you balk with ***** to essay upon, thyself, thy valentine failures, children and ex's who have ex'd you out, sad love songs one more time, even joyous ones, foolishness human, then this intro source code, is an unnecessary winter weather advisory)* a phrase, song~played, scratches, brain self-commands via electric synapse To: the current in-resident body extrude denude private places riff, get to thy work, decompose on them words: in the private places play with the lowly lowest ranking, private, who by nature, sees finer the dirtiest, privy to the privy, privilege them to the most personal, spit/spill/weep/deep some or none of it all, cause the scratch is the poetic salvation to that bitch~itch, write the best you get, dispossess the beastie best in the pvt. places, ain't much/no difference tween beastie and all the crapper rest draw from the private places, cast up to light, revelations devaluations sensations impolite, well kept secrets if you can say it good, then draw it up from the well where the private places were|where sent to drown, and if you can't, no bother brother, after this exculpation excavation, I'll go back with you to adding a rock to the bottom of the pile, the mountain of superficial crap
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Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 12:13 PM UTC
in the private places (this poem don't matter much)
Sure as heck wouldn't fall for that "Oh its my favourite book & I keep it by my bedside trick" & gather chubby Christian flunkeys to pray over & anoint a fascist idiot child, Would see right through using a grieving widow as a prop for a photo-shoot extravaganza, & then talk of record applause lines like this was America's Most Talented & he was a cheap *** promoter milking the crowd, Wouldn't for a second fall for the Syrian children carry an infection to the nation & must be denied entry because you never know but of course we can because deranged white folks are more of a threat, Sure as **** could tell the difference between a good apostle & that scheming White Supremacist Bannon & the bald dude who endlessly talks of his overlord being obeyed or **** sure you'll all be for it, Would most definitely not need a golden crapper to rest his fat white *** on & a golden stroller for his special one & lacquered mirrored sitting room that looks like a hillbilly wet-dream version of of 'how rich folks dun live rightly,' Would most definitely not be seen wearing that stupid red hat which more than hints at a long gone world with shades of whiteness & exclusion & don't come knocking on my door you pitiful wretch you, Would never in a million friggin' years have voted Republican & sided with a lying, duplicitous con-man with all the shades of darkness that usually are reserved for the actual Fallen Angels.
0
Mar 6, 2017
Mar 6, 2017 at 12:14 PM UTC
Jesus Would Smack Trump Upside the Head or What Would Jesus Do?
Are you bored? Do you feel there's no point to the things you do? Is your life missing an element of excitement? Fear not, I have just the thing Put the Awe back in Awesome Put the back Zing back in Amazing Put the Fanta back into Fantastic What?  Fanta is great. Anyway It's rather simple.   The next time you have to do something you find boring, depressing, or unfulfilling, do it FOR SCIENCE! Some examples: I'll be out later, I have to do my English homework...FOR SCIENCE I'm giving the big presentation tomorrow...FOR SCIENCE I got into a car accident this morning...FOR SCIENCE I don't feel so well, I need to use the crapper...FOR SCIENCE.  I'll be in there awhile.  For Science. Someone tried to steal my purse, so I stabbed them...FOR SCIENCE I guarantee that if you use this handy tip, your self esteem will rise, and people will find you exponentially more interesting! Or they might think you're crazy They definitely won't think you're boring, though. So go out there and show the world what you're made of For Science!
0
Dec 29, 2012
Dec 29, 2012 at 6:56 PM UTC
For Science!
the coffee flowed through tales of three lovers, all dead now, somehow   he managed to squeeze in a live one, number four, over apple pie with melted cheese   she was still coming around, usually after her AA meetings helping him fill his apartment with Lucky Strike haze   (only woman he knew who smoked unfiltered ****   he did not know why she watched him drink   maybe he was her 40 days in the desert, tempting her with the libations she loved more than her own flesh,   (her son in Waukegan with his sober dad)     maybe he was her test, he didn’t give a **** he said   she was quiet in his bed often, like a thief in the night, she would be gone when he woke in the morning   a book or two missing, ones he had read and filled with notes, some with pages torn out that lined his walls, even his crapper he said   where he could stand and drain his lizard read Ezra Pound and Elliot and ask himself   why the **** did those guys use so many words?   when he ate the last crumbs of his pie, he told me he meant to ask me the same question, but the answer would be too long, that I asked questions that did not need answers I tried to tell him I felt the same way, but he fired up another Lucky Strike, and asked for the check which I would pay and I knew, he would hear nothing I had to say
0
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 3:03 PM UTC
Charles ate a piece of pie (coffee with Bukowski, part II)
I wonder what this world is coming to When we have to overcomplicate everything All I hear on the TV of late Is ‘bare craic’ as my northern Irish friend would say – “I can’t understand this credit crunch,” she said Poignantly, (neither could I) “I think I’ll take A dander down to the shops.” And so she did We were out of milk And living off salami I picked up the paper And I realise nothing is without a price Or a fate They are the two certainties So is death And the price is not so hard to see either. The American bigwigs sit round a table Complaining what is to be done about the financial crisis? Each eating a $16 dollar muffin with their $8.48 coffee Wondering where oh where can money be saved? And they’ll get back in their private limos Drive past their second addresses Back down to Bel-air Lock themselves in their villas Count their bonuses And sleep happy After doing jack **** While Greece is going down the crapper. I can see the solution Can you? Or is it just me? Or can you see it to?
0
Nov 11, 2011
Nov 11, 2011 at 3:06 PM UTC
A Confederacy of Dunces
Skimming is like cheating why bother to pretend? so you can say you've read the book, a mad rush to the end? Best do like me, and start a few and it's exactly what I do before I will attack it, read the back and jacket too. I start in on the chapter list and read it 'til I've got the gist, a nice prologue and introduction if omitted, sorely missed. I take the words and read 'em over what was meant, I try to gleen and if no message was encoded just what did the author mean? I'll do the same on every page until I understand, or age and when I'm satisfied unless I've died, I'll turn the page. I will continue on that course unless the author beats his horse and gives me every reason, just to end it there without remorse. but if I'm thoroughly engaged and my boredom not enraged I must admit I've skimmed a chapter in the crapper for the aged. and if I make it to the chase which has rarely been the case I will mark it, and then park it to allow it proper place. The End
0
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 14, 2013 at 10:25 PM UTC
no skimming
He'd already slit his wrists and tried to hang himself in the crapper from the water pipe system and now they kept him in the locked ward sans belt or laces and kept him in sight of at least one nurse's sharp eyes but still he managed to liberate laces from some old guy's shoes while he slept and had just about tied one end of the tied laces to the pipes when a nurse seeing him through the curtains raised the alarm and banged on the door and raised merry hell but he just set about his slow task attempting to put the narrow noose about his head when some big male nurse (ape build) banged open the door and pulled him down sans the laces and pinned him to the floor Benedict smelt body odour and cheap aftershave and still the ape nurse held him down there was that Beatles' song on the radio on the locked ward HELP I need somebody the nurse joined in the chorus line Benedict caught sight unwittingly of the female nurse's pale pink ******* as she moved on over to help and her perfume was better and has she pressed down nearer to give aid he closed his eyes gentlemanly so as not to view the cleavage coming his way can’t have too much excitement (he mused darkly) in one suicide attempting day.
0
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 3:12 PM UTC
IN ONE DAY.
winter loneliness wise men know is only right that gray will stack upon gray, that brown will fringe brown, that lust's fire be dormant is only right that all things should cycle that tender green will shoot from hollow promise, wise men know is only right that hibernia is but a season, that low light's grip need not hold, that there is an end wise men know. that dogs bark in advance of posted mems that seed, seeded to glossy paper, that will be read on china thrones it is only right that rows and rows first be planted in dream gardens upon the vernal gardener's crapper.
0
Jan 12, 2011
Jan 12, 2011 at 12:56 PM UTC
seed catalog cometh
When Christine heard that he'd tried to hang himself in the men's crapper desperation bells began to ring inside her head then she saw him on the locked ward sans laces or belts or anything he may use to repeat the performance and he sat in the big chair his eyes dull and his hair untidy and with that loose hanging dressing gown minus belt and in pyjamas like some Auschwitz guy and she said what the **** you in here for? sitting in the armchair next to him broken heart broken love lost love soul crashing through all gears to get back to base who knows? he said like that huh? join the club for what it's worth we're all ****** up here like driftwood on a lonely beach on some deserted island she said he gazed at her disinterestedly as if a gnat had landed on his hand they lock the doors here? sure do all the time what about visitors? once a week Sundays he looked at her at her dark long straggly hair her dull eyes why you here? he said some **** left me at the altar all dressed up like some nun in white she said he must have been mad to have left you anywhere he said well he must be because he did opposite an Indian woman sat crossed legged picking at her toes a red spot on her forehead dressed in long gowns of bright colours a plump woman walked by smoking eyeing them suspiciously foul mouthing the nurse going by so how long you been here? he asked week or so how long you staying? until they say I can leave when will that be? when they think I’m better or cured or able to be balanced again when will that be? how the **** do I know she said sorry about the language anger gets to my tongue before I do you're not going to hang yourself again are you? she asked don't know who I am any more don't know jackshit about myself whoever myself is she nodded looked at his handed in slippers the scar on his left wrist not your first time then? she said touching the scar guess not   he said welcome to Purgatory she said he sensed her finger on his scar the female touch he wanted something whatever it was something to hold on to O so very much.
0
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 2:18 AM UTC
PURGATORY.
When Christine heard that he'd tried to hang himself in the men's crapper desperation bells began to ring inside her head then she saw him on the locked ward sans laces or belts or anything he may use to repeat the performance and he sat in the big chair his eyes dull and his hair untidy and with that loose hanging dressing gown minus belt and in pyjamas like some Auschwitz guy and she said what the **** you in here for? sitting in the armchair next to him broken heart broken love lost love soul crashing through all gears to get back to base who knows? he said like that huh? join the club for what it's worth we're all ****** up here like driftwood on a lonely beach on some deserted island she said he gazed at her disinterestedly as if a gnat had landed on his hand they lock the doors here? sure do all the time what about visitors? once a week Sundays he looked at her at her dark long straggly hair her dull eyes why you here? he said some **** left me at the altar all dressed up like some nun in white she said he must have been mad to have left you anywhere he said well he must be because he did opposite an Indian woman sat crossed legged picking at her toes a red spot on her forehead dressed in long gowns of bright colours a plump woman walked by smoking eyeing them suspiciously foul mouthing the nurse going by so how long you been here? he asked week or so how long you staying? until they say I can leave when will that be? when they think I’m better or cured or able to be balanced again when will that be? how the **** do I know she said sorry about the language anger gets to my tongue before I do you're not going to hang yourself again are you? she asked don't know who I am any more don't know jackshit about myself whoever myself is she nodded looked at his handed in slippers the scar on his left wrist not your first time then? she said touching the scar guess not   he said welcome to Purgatory she said he sensed her finger on his scar the female touch he wanted something whatever it was something to hold on to O so very much.
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146
call me MCDJpjs one you can look too these days keep ya kids out the muthafukkin freeways see a roof and I give that ***** a raise see I’m not a traditional rapper ima ex-trapper spend too much time on the crapper wannbe flapper but not with birds wings I wanna go dancing in a 20’s gin ring drunk with a tommy gun come and get ya some I might come undone I’m just havin fun see I like to smoke **** grow it out with no seeds give it away freely destroy the system completely **** capitalism its causing a schism and how you livin cause I was born for given natural social-ist creating my own religion ******* wanna front like pigeons actin like they grantin wishes still sharing, but not an Osborn I’m the new norm At least in Ore-gon Call me MCDJpjs call me MCDJpjs one you can look too these days keep ya kids out the muthafukkin freeways see a roof and I give that ***** a raise Homeboy I tell the truth to today’s youth like a real sooth let me show you proof see I don’t pull punches about GMO lunches and throwin punches putting fools in the crunches slammin cell doors at my 9 to 5 watchin young lives be hypnotized by the flawed system one that lets them keep coming back to prison instead of giving them a vision of success and grace as part of the race that we all belong ya’ll sing my song! Call me MCDJpjs
0
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 1:46 PM UTC
call me MCDJpjs
Okay, skimming is like cheating and why bother to pretend? so you can say you've read the book, a mad rush to the end! Best to start a few and this, exactly what I do if you can hack it, don't attack it read the back and jacket too. I start in on the chapter list and read it 'til I've got the gist, a nice prologue and introduction if omitted, sorely missed. I take the words and read 'em over what was meant I try to gleen and if no message is encoded then what did the author mean? I'll do the same on every page until I understand, or age and when I'm satisfied unless I've died, I'll go and turn the page. I will continue on that course unless the author beats his horse and gives me every reason just to end it there without remorse. but if I'm thoroughly engaged and my boredom not enraged I must admit I've skimmed a chapter in the crapper for the aged. and if I make it to the chase which has rarely been the case I will mark it, and then park it to allow it proper place. The End
0
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 14, 2013 at 10:25 PM UTC
how i read a book
Jeanette sits in the class music's played Beethoven sonata Miss Graham the teacher at a grand piano thin wire framed spectacles her grey hair in a bun aged fingers touching keys many kids in the class sit bemused others bored out of brains smile or smirk but to her sitting there beside blonde Angela is transfixed a new world opens up pretty much like that kiss stolen quick by that boy Benedict on the field after lunch as she sat all alone Angela had gone to the crapper (the wrong week to sort out) no reasons were given just that kiss on her cheek soft and damp then he'd gone leaving her as one stung by a bee and she watched as he went towards school and she sat between worlds old and new balancing her hormones steering clear of all those dangerous hidden rocks Jeanette moves to music around her her fingers on the desk like keyboard pushing thoughts of the kiss from her mind closing eyes matching up Benedict inwardly with passion like one blind.
0
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 19, 2014 at 1:47 PM UTC
JEANETTE AND A KISS.
Ole used to like the He-Man TV cartoon series and would enact the main character about the house and stairs and sofa with a toy sword tucked in the back of his shirt then one day I took him to the cinema to see the big screen film version of He-Man with loud booming voices and music and the bad guys looking gruesome and so on and he began to say he needed the crapper and so off we went outside and along to the men's crapper then back again and sat down to watch the film then after a while he would say he wanted the crapper again and so off we went and back again and so after the fourth visit I said do you want to go home? he nodded in his own unique way and off we went home him silent and me wondering and knowing that he'd been scared but not wanting to admit to it he feigned the need for the crapper not knowing I knew but I kept his street cred and smiled down at him and never said.
0
Feb 7, 2014
Feb 7, 2014 at 3:34 AM UTC
OLE THE HE-MAN.
Joseph Bazalgette knew about things people did, like pooh and to that very end he built the great sewer which apart from moving the pooh also alleviated London from the stink of the rich as well as the poor. On the engineers seat in the House on Greek street he drew up his plans to do away with bed pans as he laboured alone in the night. Thomas Crapper came to fame and hardly because of his laughable name, but his name became his fortune and in the music halls of London town people were soon to put a penny down to spend a penny in the lavvy, a savvy lad was Tom. And they made old Joe a knight for funneling waste out of Londoner's sight, they even had street lights that ran on the gas that floated down tunnels through which the waste had to pass on its way to the sea. It was a jolly good show and a spiffing great plan carried out quite imaginatively, I can imagine the man and his men way back then were flushed to be a part of London's lavatory story.
0
Feb 15, 2016
Feb 15, 2016 at 7:06 AM UTC
eau de toilette
Of course it’s a Muslim Ban when Muslim countries are affected & 1.5 billion folks perceive it to be so, & you'd recently called Giulani to ask "Muslim Ban, how can I do it?" & of course it’s mocking the disabled when you pull your arms to your waist & wave your wrists & use a shaky trembling voice while looking skyward, & of course when you talked about the “Second Amendment People” taking out Hillary Clinton if she won you were talking an assassination threat, the words are there aren’t they, & of course it was unforgivable & beyond, just beyond the pale where you tried to deflect the criticism of the grieving Khan family by insulting the silent mother from your glorious podium, & of course when you quipped “It’s freezing & snowing in New York, we need global warming” you were laying bare the intellectual wasteland that is your mind & the threadbare grasp on vital realities that is your worldview, & of course when you talked of “fairly credible sources” telling you of "Obama’s birth certificate being a fraud" you were simply making **** up in your fraudulent salesman mode but this time were in way too deep by promoting this vicious ethically void racist ******** & of course when you said “you can never be too greedy” you mean it with your gold crapper in your gold bathroom, & your gold stroller, for your golden progeny, & your huge this, & so big that, & of course when you said of 9/11 that in Jersey “thousands of people were cheering” you were lying your *** off & appealing to the basest elements of human nature of anger, revenge & blame, & of course when you declined to condemn David Duke & the KKK you knew exactly what you were doing as you put forth the trembling hand of friendship to American White Supremacists so’s you'd let them know you were one of them & they could count on you & please vote for me, you were planting that evil & sordid flag weren’t you, & of course you are unfit to govern, lack a basic intelligence, decency, spirituality, a grasp of fundamental principles of right & wrong, & are a con-man, a spiv, a snake-oil salesman, all these … of course you are … & we’re stuck with you.
0
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 10:38 AM UTC
Well Trump, of course it is ...
Of course it’s a Muslim Ban when Muslim countries are affected & 1.5 billion folks perceive it to be so, & you'd recently called Giulani to ask "Muslim Ban, how can I do it?" & of course it’s mocking the disabled when you pull your arms to your waist & wave your wrists & use a shaky trembling voice while looking skyward, & of course when you talked about the “Second Amendment People” taking out Hillary Clinton if she won you were talking an assassination threat, the words are there aren’t they, & of course it was unforgivable & beyond, just beyond the pale where you tried to deflect the criticism of the grieving Khan family by insulting the silent mother from your glorious podium, & of course when you quipped “It’s freezing & snowing in New York, we need global warming” you were laying bare the intellectual wasteland that is your mind & the threadbare grasp on vital realities that is your worldview, & of course when you talked of “fairly credible sources” telling you of "Obama’s birth certificate being a fraud" you were simply making **** up in your fraudulent salesman mode but this time were in way too deep by promoting this vicious ethically void racist ******** & of course when you said “you can never be too greedy” you mean it with your gold crapper in your gold bathroom, & your gold stroller, for your golden progeny, & your huge this, & so big that, & of course when you said of 9/11 that in Jersey “thousands of people were cheering” you were lying your *** off & appealing to the basest elements of human nature of anger, revenge & blame, & of course when you declined to condemn David Duke & the KKK you knew exactly what you were doing as you put forth the trembling hand of friendship to American White Supremacists so’s you'd let them know you were one of them & they could count on you & please vote for me, you were planting that evil & sordid flag weren’t you, & of course you are unfit to govern, lack a basic intelligence, decency, spirituality, a grasp of fundamental principles of right & wrong, & are a con-man, a spiv, a snake-oil salesman, all these … of course you are … & we’re stuck with you.
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If i play my part in time I think I'll make it out the hood. I shouldn't off my cousin now But then again I prolly should Because a pound is on the line and i ain't got too much a time My mama future on the line So im resorted 2 the crime Naw+ Let him breathe Let him take in all the air Im like a lion in a cage and u can c it in my stare Im feeling troubled n deranged n u can c it if u stare She tryna stay inside my heart n till this day she's never there Ugh+ Time money n madness Im fulla sadness My family believe in magic And honestly it is tragic My pockets can b the fattest My mistress can b the baddest They tell me 2 show them love but really I never had it Yeah + Dead bodies n bullets is all im after Yo crying fueling my laughter They murdered him on the crapper N really all that I wanted was solace n mild seclusion The thought merely illusion A happy ending is stupid Wah + Do u love me thru the blood n the tears Would u sacrifice yoself if I had sharpened the shears Love is fairly new 2 me cuz ive been suffering 4 years I don't want u 2 respond will u just lend me yo ears Cuz angels won't come if u drowning in the sea Im the only one who loves u. Im yo personal disease Im the voice inside yo head Fill void inside of me U ain't in the coffin wit me how im pose 2 rest in peace Hmm+
0
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 21, 2017 at 12:13 PM UTC
Train of thought
The Dalai Lama may not approve with my pinching the Pure Diamond phrase which is of course usually in reference to some Buddhist moment of utter clarity & profound insight, but that's as close as I can get in reference to Our Illustrious Leader and his need to sit on a golden crapper in his opulent & dazzling suite overlooking Manhattan & oh so high in the blue, blue sky, because when I hear of Meals on Wheels cuts & After School Program loss in West Virginia & the myriad other ways counters have found to save a few bucks at the same time as they reduce taxes on the very rich, the fact that he does sit on a golden crapper becomes perhaps a lightning rod for all that is wrong with Republican ideology & its talk of cost effect & proven results in regard to a simple feeding of a hungry person, its not rocket science or flying to the moon its a simple social program that helps older folks & small children get through the day & a government that talks of building a billion dollar wall, building more planes & warships led by a man who desires a golden crapper, just plain fills me with a Pure Diamond Loathing.
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Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 7:09 PM UTC
Pure Diamond Loathing
Meals on Wheels feeds needy old folks & house-bounds, its not some sort of luxury blue-apron celebrity-chef at your door in minutes creme-de-brule & lobster fricasee, its basic nutritious food that many needy folks depend on to help them get through each day, but Trump & his Republicans have decided this is, what, a luxury that promotes dependency, an unnecessary largesse on the part of a near socialist dictatorship, that bringing food to the needy is just way, way too beyond the financial abilities of the mighty U.S of A, but of course there's a billion dollar wall to be built to hold back brown people, there's more tanks, bigger ships, fancier airplanes, oh & what ... Mar-A-Lago golf trips to pay for, & security for every Trump spawn out there rock & rollin' their way around the world making money & just a makin' more money, & once more I say unto you, the fact this man feels the need to **** in a golden crapper fills me with such a sincere & deep loathing that at times I can barely sleep. Feed the Needy!
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Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 11:55 PM UTC
Meals on Wheels or good god where are we?
Let's do the Lindy Everybody do the Lindy Let's let the men in red Roll on in from China Let's do the Lindy Everybody do the Lindy Every small-c ****** Living in the USA It's hard to believe That we all let this happen How can we stand by and see Our country flushed down the crapper Hey Everybody Let's do the Lindy The government controls us All hail the ****** way
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Jun 30, 2016
Jun 30, 2016 at 10:37 AM UTC
Let's Do The Lindy