"claudia" poems
Every daughter is born of royalty
To rule and serve in lineal descent from God
But Claudia from her island of mist
Was borne away to Rome in captive shame
With her father in chains, herself in chains
To speak for their people, to speak for peace
Before the emperor, who in hearing them
Gave freedom to himself, and a crown to her
Though hostage far away from her girlhood home
With love she captured imperial Rome
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 4:10 PM UTC
My Kite
The view of purplish branches upon the trees and
Looking beyond grassy mountains on the horizon
Bring back memories of my childhood days,
Wading in a nearby creek and flying my kite before a sunlit sky
And then recalling the wind beginning to blow.
Magenta leaves would decorate
Branches of both growing and fallen trees-
Wild geese soared above and deer were running freely
While my kite was carried upward by the wind
As highly as those trees would ever grow.
My kite I believed would carry that mysterious spirit deep inside of me
Into which I had placed all my faith and trust
The tail of my kite seemed to cross the sun, though far above me
I feared the demons’ of the woodlands following me as I walked-
But with strong assurance I pursued my kite wherever it would go.
Dark clouds began to cover the sun one day and
Branches upon the trees were seemingly blackening
While lightening sharply illuminated the sky
I believed a storm was rapidly approaching.
As fright and haunting disbelief inside of my mind began to overshadow. .
I have told others that my kite held within my protective soul which was always with me
Because I saw it to be an angel dancing freely in the sky
I believe my kite held inside the spirit of a seraph,
That saved me from all that betrayed and hurt me
As the voices inside of my mind had often told me so.
Years have passed and that wind was always fierce and deceitful-
Breaking the string with which I held my kite-
I sadly watched it as it flew higher and higher towards the sky
Until it disappeared behind those approaching darkening thunderclouds
Vanishing beyond my sight- leaving me frightened and alone below.
Years have also passed since I lost my kite which I believed was my guiding illumination
People would laugh and say my mind had escaped reality
Now I can see that there is no one to save me from those demons of this planet
I still hide the pain of loss of my spirit of salvation behind laughter and a smile
But that does not erase the void I feel inside and that is an unrelenting sorrow.
Claudia Krizay
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 7:19 PM UTC
Chloe's hair, no doubt, was brighter;
Lydia's mouth more sweetly sad;
Hebe's arms were rather whiter;
Languorous-lidded Helen had
Eyes more blue than e'er the sky was;
Lalage's was subtler stuff;
Still, you used to think that I was
Fair enough.
Now you're casting yearning glances
At the pale Penelope;
Cutting in on Claudia's dances;
Taking Iris out to tea.
Iole you find warm-hearted;
Zoe's cheek is far from rough--
Don't you think it's time we parted? . . .
Fair enough!
3.2k
The Fence
A wooden fence once surrounded my home
Which I had hoped would keep out all intruders-
It was the fence my father had built
Years before his passing
Alive always inside a world of my own
I had built myself a different sort of fence-
One made of spoken words and angry gestures
That would ward away intruders I believed were always out to harm me.
A wooden fence can simply be sawed or broken down
When one is motivated to do so
And locks to their gates can be opened with a key
Therefore a wooden fence most likely will not shut the world out.
My own fence has shut the real world out
My soul and spirit are protected.
My special fence keeps me sheltered from the world outside
And is built from barbed wire of my imagination.
My mother and my father have passed away years ago-
They shall never become part of my private world –
It was not my wish that they would have ever been, as
They were forever trying to break down that fence that guarded my castle in the sky.
Now I am living in a different place in time-
Far from the wooden fence surrounding what was once my family’s home
Life is safer and not as threatening now
But I still with caution carry with me that extraordinary fence of my dreams.
Someday I hope that I can find that phantasmal key
That key that would unlock the gate to that protective fence of mine-
So that I could step out side, if only for a brief moment-
And hopefully learn that the real world is not a place to fear.
I hope that one day I shall awaken to a rainbow on my horizon
And that fence I have hidden behind for all the days of my life
Shall vanish as did the wooden fence had after so many years-
And I can find new freedom while I give thanks that I no longer have to be afraid.
Claudia Krizay
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC
Scotty has a girlfriend,
But Scotty likes to wear dresses..
Is he gay?
Of course not! He loves girls!
But..
underneath his bed,
there's a box full of secrets..
secrets so big;
it's impossible to keep em'.
What would she do..
if she found out he's been with another guy?
She'd break his neck,
as she runs to the corner to cry!
sexually confused!
Scotty doesn't know,
he's sexually confused!
She walks into her high school class,
people can't help but stare.
They don't know what it is;
blue eyes?
dark hair?
Nope. It's what's going on,
the thoughts inside her head..
It's this other girl..
"She snuck into my bed!"
sexually confused..
her peers don't know it yet,
but we're all sexually confused!
Nick has a secret,
you see hes got this fetish.
All he does is
sit around and act it.
He sneaks into his sister's room,
and tries on her clothes..
He walks around the house,
in her skirts and underwear.
Sexually confusd,
he's sexually confused!
It started with being dared to wear a pair..
look what happened,
now he's sexually confused!
Claudia's depressed because
her feelings are always surpressed.
She burries her mind with drugs,
never admiting her passion,
she's made fun of for the way she's dressed.
There's this girl, you see,
she's got dark hair and blue eyes..
they can't be together,
because well..
us sexually confused like to hide.
Sexually confused..
You see once they know,
you know, that you're sexually confused-
you'll be taunted, made fun of,
a victim of verbal abuse.
sexually confused!
Am I sexually confused?
Nov 17, 2011
Nov 17, 2011 at 4:38 PM UTC
I am a bird on the margin of the abyss
This bird lost its voice to sing and its will to fly
Looking up at how other birds vanish into the clouds
All I can do is be on the edge.
The beautiful wings that once felt the breeze
Are now ashamed to pick up and take flight
The fear of falling in to the pit misfortunes.
The darkness start to come up
The fear paralyzes me
I will not fly
Let it swallow me.
I am bird on the margin of the abyss
The bird who was the one they looked up to and could never capture
I was the one whom you could barely get a glimpse of
Leaving others behind
The beautiful wings do not move
My beak going straight in to the unknown
All I can do is close my eyes
Memories flash on the days when I sang
The warmth of the June sun is just an idea left behind
I no longer try to dash the autumn leaves
I open my eyes
The darkness is clearing
I hear a melody
Smooth and gentle like the spring breeze
But whose is it
My beak is open
I am a bird on the margin of the abyss
My past is something I don't like to recall
But that is all the song brings
The notes keep pouring out of my open beak
I close my eyes
The tune more beautiful and soothing
Why am I giving up?
Flap
I open my eyes
My beak now going for the clouds
The darkness behind
I don't want the fear to control me
I will fly higher the ever
Spit me out
I am a bird who never touches the ground
Whose melody is mellow like the falling snow
Yet so warm like the summer
Talking about new beginnings
I am a bird
By Claudia Ramirez
Sep 21, 2012
Sep 21, 2012 at 1:26 PM UTC
Thought Broadcasting
Silence is a silver ship
Traveling at the speed of the darkness,
Black holes are the edifices in which I
Build my thoughts-
Word by word,
Each and every syllable forms upon my lips,
And then broadcasted, aloud-
Thoughts are killers- thoughts can harm-
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
Within this room I write my thoughts
With a pen that is void of ink, or a pencil
That has no lead,
Invisible they are, but somehow,
These thoughts are broadcasted aloud.
Thoughts are killers thoughts control-
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
A silver ship with its sail to the wind,
A wild horse that canters across vast terrain, or
Pebbles that roll off of my fingertips,
That splash into the creek, one by one,
You can see, you can hear, as
My thoughts, broadcasted aloud.
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
My thoughts are a flame that only I can quench.
I am in control of what comes into my mind,
As my hands build the world from
The bricks of Time,
My thoughts control the world.
My thinking destroys those, whom I abhor,
My thoughts control the downtrodden.
Silence is a silver ship, or
The dome beneath which I dwell-
I build my edifice beneath this dome.
No one dares to enter, as
I have broadcasted a message to the world,
My eyes order the world away;
My thoughts are broadcasted aloud,
A bad thought can destroy, as good ones
Create and control,
My thoughts control the world…
Claudia Krizay
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 11:18 PM UTC
I don't have my black pen today and it's killing me.
The blue ink is murdering me.
I'm so dramatic, remember? ;)
So how have you been?
I like all your new clothes,
The sweatshirts and stuff.
Except the drug rug;
That still makes me a little uncomfortable.
But I can get over it.
I've been pretty good.
I was failing English a few months back.
I'm better now!
Have you done any of the Macbeth diary project?
I haven't. Glad she gave us that extension.
Hey, I started Breaking Bad a while back.
NOW I GET THE HYPE.
It's so good.
Only on season three, though.
P.J., Doug, Claudia and I
Want to have a Tremors movie night.
(Honestly, the idea's been thrown around for months.)
You should come!
Do you even know what Tremors is?
It sounds AMAZING.
Well, actually,
We all paid for the movies.
But maybe you can just mooch off me and come anyway.
You'd love it.
People keep trying to be Joe's and mine
Third wheel.
I wish it were you.
You were my favourite third wheel.
You're so good at it!
I guess I'll just deal with the ones I've got now.
I'll be honest,
It has been rough since you left.
I've been crumbling significantly lately,
Missing you a lot more.
Joe's been helping,
Really well, too.
I was a hot mess before he started helping me.
I think you two would like each other,
If you got to know him.
And I . . .
I cut myself again.
More this time,
A lot more.
Go on, yell at me and storm off
And ignore the problems.
But I've stopped
Again.
I don't like it when you yell at me,
In case you haven't gathered.
It's so scary,
The only time I'm truly terrified of a person.
All the anger surging through your arms. . . .
The anger in your eyes. . . .
Your eyes are angry all the time.
You have the fiercest green eyes. . . .
ANYWAY, I'm off topic.
How are you doing in Algebra?
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 2:40 PM UTC
by Arcassin B & claudia
CR: lust is a want , love is a need,
AB: i could take your heart out on a joy ride but i
can't feed the birds and the bees,
CR: There will be bumps along the road but with me
you'll never have to do it alone,
AB: I'll put my life on line , trying to spend time,
but i'll always be here for you at home,
CR: With you it's not what i see , its what i feel,
AB: i don't wanna be what every man is ,i want something real,
AB : when we touch its like its all i could think about,
like all i could about,
all i could think about,
i swear your kisses make a blind man see,
your touch could get me excited , set me free,
please tell me is this lust or love,
because i want this to be real to me,
CR: your smile is a work of art and being in your presence
warms my heart,
AB: your body is a heaven gate to newer things and better things
is what i want for both of us to have a brand new start,
CR: don't shut me out , just let it be,
AB: we'll go through trials and obstacles and then we'll be free,
CR: Love is something that transpires and lust is what you desire,
AB: Don't get the two mixed up , Don't feel so stuck cause at the end of the day
lust will expire,
AB : when we touch its like its all i could think about,
like all i could about,
all i could think about,
i swear your kisses make a blind man see,
your touch could get me excited , set me free,
please tell me is this lust or love,
because i want this to be real to me.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 11:23 AM UTC
Seclusion
Tonight is a dark night
Here within the garden of the deceased-
In this place where wounded spirits who have lost their sanity
Are banned from the world outside,
Here in this desolate place where nobody sees the light of day.
I am alone where the walls are barren and
The floors have yellowed-
***** stained and tiles are cracked-
I stare at the ceiling through a curtain of tears falling from bloodshot eyes-
Moribund, I cannot escape past memories of merciless abuse which are colliding with
Recollections of profound neglect buried in the depths of a graveyard of despair-
As in a scene from a tragic film, I have become the infamous star,
I hear the wall clock outside steadily ticking
Rhythmically in time with hellions screaming from inside the fortress of my mind-
My emaciated body is robed in a sallow gown and
I can feel serpents twisted about my calves constricting.
This is a dark night-
This is a dark night where I have lost my grasp on veracity-
This is a dark night where I have been separated from the outside world-
This is the garden of the deceased, where
Phantasmal gravestones surround my dissolving soul-
My mind is in a wretched state and my thoughts are bellowing lunacy-
My cries for help have been silenced.
My worm infested brain is decaying-
I can only hear above the screaming stillness
The ticking of the wall clock outside, and
Threatening voices emanating from inside of my mind-
Putrid scents of rotting corpses infiltrate this cell and
I vociferate madness as the dirges that echo about my mind attempt to deafen me-
Neither moonlight nor sunlight can penetrate this windowless chamber-
Within this garden of the deceased where my spirit has just perished-
This is a dark night and I have been banned from the world outside-
In a desperate search for relief my outstretched arms attempt
To reach towards heaven as I can feel
My dissolving spirit sinking through the cracks in the decrepit linoleum tiles below-
I believe I can hear angels singing ‘Abide with me’ mourning the death of my soul-
The wall clock outside ticks on and on as I have lost my battle with fate-
I have become a lone cadaver buried here in the garden of the deceased-
This is a dark night where time has unobtrusively slipped away.
Claudia Krizay
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 5:08 PM UTC
I love it whenever Cookie. . .
kneaded her cute paws on cushions. . .
slept on my bed. . .
slept near the TV. . .
slept on top of the furniture cabinet. . .
slept in between my legs. . .
gave us Norman, Zoe, Vincent and ****** (but he sadly left us so soon). . .
played with her kittens. . . and. . .
defended them whenever Buddy bullies them. . .
gave me gentle gazes. . .
gave me gentle meows. . .
looked at me with her big, innocent eyes. . .
played very energetically. . .
showed her the moments where sheʼs still a kitten at heart. . .
she comes whenever we call her. . .
she responds to calling her name. . .
was very affectionate. . .
melts my heart every time. . .
she rolled around whenever she was playful. . .
she told off Claudia sometimes. . .
comforted me without any effort. . .
I love her tri-colored coat, her beautiful innocent eyes, her cute face that I will dearly miss. I may have not shown you how much I love you, Cookie, but I will always remember you through your babies. I will protect them.
I love it whenever Oli. . .
knocked over things whenever he throwed a tantrum. . .
bit or scratch me gently when I irritate him. . .
whined when I hug him. . .
ignored me whenever I call him. . .
would give me a meow of warning before biting me. . .
followed me home the first time I saw him. . .
gave me that irritated gaze. . .
can be sweet when he want to be. . .
screams whenever he fights with some other cat. . .
doesnʼt want to fight other cats. . .
lightly bumps my hand or lean whenever I touch him. . .
slept beside me. . .
slept on top of the refrigerator. . .
doesnʼt care about pleasing me. . .
knew that I love him so much.
Oli knew how much I love him. I love the black spot on his lower lip, his orange eyes, his white and orange coat, the cute pattern of his front paws, his long orange tail, his innocent face, his gayness **** I love every single detail about you, baby.
I never thought that you impregnating Pola was a blessing in disguise, because I didnʼt know that you would leave us so soon.
You might be gone, pero lahat kayong mga dumaan sa buhay ko ay may kanya-kanyang espesyal na lugar sa puso ko. Miss na miss ko na kayo. Sobra. You guys are perfect. You didnʼt deserve any of what happened to you. Iʼm sorry I couldnʼt protect you guys from this cruel world. One day, you will get the justice you deserve. And the same goes for all of the animals they abused. Hindi natutulog ang Diyos. They will get what they deserve.
October 15, 2019 - July 22, 2021
October 14, 2019 - July 22, 2021
Jul 24, 2021
Jul 24, 2021 at 3:13 PM UTC
The Moon and the Shooting Stars
The moon and the shooting stars
Roses dancing in a cool summer breeze- and
A daffodil towers above the rosebuds-
I was once a lost soul.
I recall childhood days when
I picked those roses and made a bouquet-
Placed it haphazardly upon my mother’s desk-
I still thought of that lonesome daffodil
Its petals wavering in a burst of wind-
The chair at my mother’s desk is empty-
The desk itself is barren-
It was twenty years ago that my mother passed away-
The wind is the force that is against me-
The rain now falling is my tears-
The thunder is the rage seething inside of me, and
Lightening is my strength that shall strike
All those that try to harm me-
The sun sets and the moon appears over the horizon,
Rose petals flutter about and
I am that daffodil standing against the force of the wind-
Night descends and the moon and the shooting stars
Glimmer in the dark summer’s nighttime sky-
My mother is gone like the rose petals are now and
I am no longer a lost soul-but
I have become a woman and am like
That daffodil that stands tall against the force of
The wind that gusts before a storm arrives-
Claudia Krizay
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 8:40 PM UTC
Green is the eye of Venus, though now tightly shut.
Ancient music drums,
Trees viridian-hued.
The night has settled, dark as fear.
I rode a stallion-
Jet-black he was,
Against an array of foliage,
Emerald green,
Into the dead of night,
He rode.
Sleeping, I am?
Or am I living within some land of the surreal?
Lost within a valley,
I lie amongst tall reeds.
Water showers down upon me.
Skies turn mauve, purplish-
No calm before this storm.
Struck by lightening,
Branches are fallen by the wind.
Upon awakening,
As day breaks,
The ancient music’s melody is arrested.
A sibilant voice whispers to me:
“Sleep amongst the dead,
And depart from the living.”
As I nonchalantly gaze at the rising sun,
I wave “goodbye” to Venus,
And as she falls behind the horizon,
She waves back at me, and winks at me,
While ancient music begins drumming again…
Claudia Krizay
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 5:59 PM UTC
Shades of Blue (For Emma, my beloved cat)
Windows are open just a crack and
The ceiling lights are on- I feel that the walls are closing in on me.
All I can see is darkness
Until I look into your eyes, as they rescue me from my madness.
Your eyes, when open, are blue as the ocean reflecting the sunlight and
I touch you gently, you do not move-You are asleep, curled up by my side-
For the first time in my life I feel loved and not afraid-
Blue is the color of the sky on a summer’s day,
Blue is the color of the walls that surround me
The color blue caresses me,
When I am lost in the bleak darkness of despair-
I am locked inside a world of my own-
Where veracity rarely enters- my angry thoughts contain me-
People have robbed me of my guiding light
I wonder where to my reality has vanished- as
My spirit has been snatched away-
I paint my world shades of blue, I can feel the ocean waves come over me
Colored a deep blue reflecting the sunlight they have cleansed my soul of pain.
I opened my door just for a brief moment to let you enter-
You are the only reality I can accept right now-
Lying close to me- as always,
So tiny the day I brought you home- my very essence was
Standing upon the edge of death, but I was comforted by your gentleness,
And by your unconditional love.
I can say I love you, you are not human.
I could hold you in my arms – you are not a threat to me.
Your eyes so blue shine light upon my dark world.
But I know you shall pass away before me.
I have opened more to you than the door to my world,
I have opened my heart to let you in-
Some say you would never comprehend my thoughts, as
You do not hear me crying.
But I would never believe those words- because
Your presence has given me hope-
When you open your eyes and look lovingly into mine-
I know I have been saved- I had lost myself when I was born.
When you came into my life I could feel your softness comforting me-
I know our time together shall end in less than awhile and sadly
That was meant to be.
Life is bittersweet-
A different shade of blue-the blueness of sorrow- However
The reason I am alive today is because, you, my dear friend are also alive, and as always,
Taking my tears away, and then giving me the strength to persevere.
Claudia Krizay
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 4:54 PM UTC
Claudia
masturbates.
That tall girl
in high school
over night
showed her ways.
She watches
the full moon
drift between
clouds and stars.
Her father,
in her youth,
crossed her palm
with silver
(don’t ask why
or for what),
he was cold,
she was hot.
That teacher
with the lisp
the blonde one
she of maths
and science,
kept her in
after school
talked of books
she had read
and music
she had heard,
then kissed her,
promising
higher grades,
extra help
in subjects
of her choice.
Claudia,
between French
and Russian,
sees Pedro
making out
with the short
ugly *****
in the gym
spying them
on tiptoes
peering through
high windows,
saliva
on her lips,
capturing
memories
to take home
for her nights,
the lone games,
pretending
Pedro’s lance
pierces her
and not that
ugly *****
in the gym.
Claudia
dreams of love,
embraces
her body,
puts kisses
on her arms
and her thighs,
waiting for
that true love,
she’s been told,
never dies.
Mar 6, 2013
Mar 6, 2013 at 2:50 PM UTC
Sirens
Past midnight I can hear a siren blasting,
The sound loudening as it passes by
I believe that somebody could be at death’s door tonight.
Rapidly disappearing down the highway
Though out of sight now but never out of mind-
I can still hear the alarm bell blaring-
As it did the night my mother was taken away
Twenty two years ago today.
Not so long ago- I can recall
When I myself was taken away because
Somehow my grasp on reality had faded-
I believed I was possessed by some demonic being.
And hearing voices no one else could hear.
A raging sound it was, and unrelenting-
A sound reminiscent of agonizing dread
I recall fading into the bleakness of despair, as
My whole world had darkened and became ill fated.
I can still hear sirens every day and night
Blasting down the thoroughfare
Within the realm of my imagination, I can still envision
Dying souls buried within the gardens of the deceased.
I can hear those sirens blaring now, on this night
Bringing back memories of my mother’s demise or of
The night I had lost my sanity-
As I clench my fists in utmost fear, I try to seek the light-
As the sirens I hear screaming down the road tonight
Could be coming to take ME away once more, and
I could be the victim once again,
But as the outrageously terrifying noise quickly fades away
A sigh of relief brings a smile upon my face
As I realize that those times are over and behind me now=and
Memories of those times have suddenly and miraculously slipped away.
Claudia Krizay
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 1:45 AM UTC
I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;
2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
4 And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
5 But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.
6 For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.
7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
8 Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.
9 Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me:
10 For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia.
11 Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry.
12 And Tychicus have I sent to Ephesus.
13 The cloke that I left at Troas with Carpus, when thou comest, bring with thee, and the books, but especially the parchments.
14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works:
15 Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words.
16 At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge.
17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.
18 And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
19 Salute Prisca and Aquila, and the household of Onesiphorus.
20 Erastus abode at Corinth: but Trophimus have I left at Miletum sick.
21 Do thy diligence to come before winter. Eubulus greeteth thee, and Pudens, and Linus, and Claudia, and all the brethren.
22 The Lord Jesus Christ be with thy spirit. Grace be with you. Amen.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 5:50 AM UTC
Claudia knows Potslam
fancies her. She knows
he would like to. She
knows other men watch
her pass. Knows they’d like
to touch her *** Claudia
wants just to be loved.
Wants the kind of love in
those magazines she reads.
Potslam says he loves her
but it’s all cheap talk. His
eyes and mouth say otherwise.
She sees it in his eyes. That
first date as she waited
other men wolf whistled.
Eyed her. If eyes could undress
he’d be **** catching the cold
air standing there. Mother
said men were all the same.
Father misunderstood the
essence of woman. His history
of failures hammered and
impinged on bone and skin.
Claudia sits and lights her smoke.
Potslam talks and relates a joke.
She eyes him. Takes in his pitted
skin. Wants another to love not
**** her. Needs the loving arms
and warm caresses. The gentle
kisses placed on lips or cheek.
She watches Potslam smoke
and exhale. Sees his thick lips
give birth to smoke. His yellowed
fingers hold the cigarette. He
smiles that smile. Shallow as
a puddle. He moves in and out
of shadow. If only love were there
she says inwardly noting him ****
She feels no love or such no aching
or piercing of her delicate heart.
Apr 17, 2012
Apr 17, 2012 at 9:29 AM UTC
The time had come, it was Sunday noon
My mind kept on telling me, this was way to soon
But there I was, there was no excuse
I had to accept, I couldn't refuse
When we arrived, they were already there
I was trembling inside, this I can swear
I met your Mum, she was so kind to me
But with the stare of your Dad, I was about to flee
Then I met the sisters, and there are three
Andrea is the oldest, she has a Mother's Degree
Marta came next, as tough as she looks
Then the nurse Flavia, with all her Books
Renato is the Brother, a King of the House
Little Angel Maria the daughter, Claudia the spouse
Alvaro is Andrea's husband and the jack of all trades
Their kids Martinha and Gui, both with A grades
You grab my hand, never left me alone
And then I met Nuno, always on the phone
He is Marta's husband and Barbara's father
Then I heard: "Come and sit." It was your brother
I smile at you, how could this be
They look so perfect, so perfect to me
It felt like home, I was happy and so glad
They were the Family, the Family I never had
Jun 6, 2016
Jun 6, 2016 at 7:31 AM UTC
Claudia, why can't you see.
Lovely, but yet you want to flee.
Arguably one of the best.
Undeniably beautiful, not like the rest.
Different in so many ways.
Inspiring, you make me feel ablaze.
Allow me to say, let's not decay.
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 11:02 PM UTC
My Living Nightmare
I would play my father’s favorite sonata on my family’s grand piano
While he stood watching over me-Every morning to the late afternoon.
Voices inside of mind were commanding and
As a threatening black cloud became a curtain closing before my eyes,
I yearned to retreat to that hidden world of my own.
Although the tune I played was somewhat soothing,
Firecrackers were exploding inside of my mind-
My father was the taskmaster
Vociferating his own domineering commands –
He was the devil’s advocate and the slave driver ruling my life.
Inside of my mind were deeply rooted fears
Pain stabbing my heart with every palpitation
I can still hear those voices screaming that nobody else could fathom
Piercing my brain as would shards of broken glass-
As I can still see spiders crawling across the ceiling above me.
This is my state of mind that has rudely taken over my life
As if I were driving, losing control of the steering wheel and crashing-
Schizophrenia is the name that was given to define this turmoil that contains me
As I still have memories of lying unresponsive in a hospital seclusion room
In desperation hoping to somehow appease my troubled soul.
Memories and flashbacks plague me every day and night-
As I am playing the same sonata on the grand piano of my dreams
I lost my father twenty two years ago
His absence has brought me some relief from that never ending trepidation
But I still ask myself “what is this lurid demise that has stricken me truly all about?”
I believe that demons possessed my spirit before the day I was born-
My father believed my state of mind was merely about lassitude and misbehaving-
So I would play for him that same sonata on the grand piano he so often yearned to hear-
But I still cannot comprehend what went wrong on that journey towards my birth-
Whether I look backward in time or move forward- I guess I never will.
Claudia Krizay
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 3:21 PM UTC
Dear Claudia,
There are two thousand miles between us
And I cannot possibly find my way.
There are two thousand miles between us both
And countless roads and cities and hopes and fears
Separate us.
Claudia, I called and called and heard your voice
I held in my hands letters from you and pictures, too.
I held in my hands all the envelopes.
I am not strong enough to see you live,
To understand that your life and my life may continue
Without ever intersecting again. Claudia, I called
And when we were finished I’d say
‘I’ll talk to you tomorrow or the next day,
Or the next day, I’m sure’ even though
We both understood that was not true.
Claudia when we were finished
We’d say ‘I love you’ and both understand
That had to be true in order for me to continue.
Claudia, I am not strong enough to know
There are two thousand miles between us.
I still expect to see you wherever I go.
I love you, I miss you, and I am still here.
Sep 21, 2012
Sep 21, 2012 at 11:56 AM UTC
My Soul Afire
The rising sun sets my soul afire
At the dawning of every new day-
I see life as a new beginning-
Cardinals, robins, blue jays and finches
Carry on with their tune as the
Orchestra of a gentle spring like breeze
Rustles the newly unfolded leaves upon every tree-
Alone to enjoy the mystery of the woodlands-
The sun’s rays shining through the
Branches of the maple trees-
Dogwood blossoms both crimson pink and white
Against a sky of cerulean blue
Evoke a chorus from my spirit-
A hymn of freedom and ecstasy, as
My spirit and soul have been reborn.
As the day progresses
I am overcome by fear and
At the noon of the day the sun rises above the mountains
The world comes out from hiding-
This is the time when strangers become invasive,
Clouds overtake the light and
The rain begins to fall.
Thunder would clap and rain would pour downward in a
Spitefully intrusive manner
Quenching the magical flames
That had my spirit and soul dancing to the
Early morning symphony that the world has
Maliciously taken aback-
When the night takes over
I see the full moon ascend over the horizon and the
Stars are bright-
The stars are bright and Mars is a brilliant red while
Venus winks at me with its eyes of green-
Stars and planets are mystifyingly beautiful in their own way, though
Light years away-
If I listen vigilantly-
I can hear ancient music imminent from
The stars and planets in the vastness of the universe as
The moon appears above the treetops-
It shines its light upon me and sets my spirit dancing and once again-
Sets my soul afire-
Claudia Krizay
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 8:08 PM UTC
Mask
Past the midnight hour I would lie still—
Passers by read peaceable expressions upon my countenance-
A gentle breeze rocks the branches on the trees outside
Words inscribed before their eyes would say all is well-
Clouds cover the sky,
Grass covers the ground upon which we walk and
Nobody sees beneath that sinister mask that I wear-
I have walked many miles and
Have seen this whole world-
Past the midnight hour I would lie motionless-
Beneath the mask I wear, are tear-filled eyes and
A blanket covers my angry heart-
People do not see beyond laughter and contentment
I was once a child who walked a different pathway
Those others have not walked before-
In this world there are many roads to travel upon,
Many mountains to climb-and many rivers to cross.,
Fear has driven my spirit away from walking in every direction –
Somewhere along the way I have chosen the wrong pathway towards finding my destiny
I am a lost soul without direction,
An angry spirit who has never known tranquility-
I would hide behind that mask now painted black,
Opaque so that my true self is indiscernible
If I could remove the darkened mask I wear and throw it to the wind
The world would see my tears fall as would a torrent of rain and
Look into my eyes and my thoughts would become their literature-
A horror story or a novel with a tragic ending-
And the pain of being stabbed in the heart with a sharpened bladed knife-
I am frozen in time- I only foresee one road upon which to travel
That is, the road to madness which is sadly all too familiar-
I stand at crossroads not knowing which direction to take in this life-
So I lie still in the darkness, hiding behind that black opaque mask-
Concealed from the world- unable to discern reality, and terrified of my surroundings.
People rarely look beyond surfaces- because of their own fears of what is real-
So they keep dancing, and laughing to their hearts’ content because
They are afraid to see the dimness on the far side of the river.
They wear their own masks with their eyes painted shut, wanting to believe
That the sky is always blue, even beyond dark clouds before a storm
Wishing to believe that a lighted candle of peace shall never burn out in time.
Claudia Krizay
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 4:24 PM UTC
Claudia was awakened
By her punk lover
Kissing her ear she giggled
Think he was like a puppy
She coupes his face
And said good morning my sweetheart
Sensei my rose
I want to runaway to Tibet
And I would love if you spent that life with me.
“Boris Romanov as that sounds romantic... I just can’t.
Let me think about it
I have a life here”
She said getting away from him
Quickly
“Claudia Patrick” he pleaded
But she walked out.
Went she walked to her friends appointment
In Manhattan she though she only had her karate,
Her Boris
And three friends
She had nothing else
To lose.
The friend saw Claudia
Coming
And greeted her
Claudia broke down and told
Her friend
About the loving
Yet creepy relationship
And where he wanted to take her
When the friend said that you could email
Them they will still be friends.
That gave some comfort to Claudia
Claudia was allowed to spend the
Night at her friends
Unless it was class or when the friend had to work.
The wealthy friend
Drove her to the dojo keep an eye out
For Claudia’s creep
But he never showed.
She told her the owner of the dojo
That she might be leaving to teach the art
In another land
He understood
Then she spent the night with her
Friend
Not going to class
Until she was safe and made up her mind.
When she started to miss
Boris
And confident enough to deal with him
She came back
To him
Saying that she wanted to be with her punk lover
Even if meant leaving.
Boris felt joy from her words
And they made love.
Her red hair
And complimented
Boris’s blond and blue hair.
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 9:12 AM UTC