i am a movie soundtrack
in the background

i make you feel things that you never notice
that you'll never even realize

i will whittle myself into your heart
but you'll never know i'm there

i stay folded within the bonds
of your unconscious emotion

you won't remember me
you won't know my tune
or my rhythm

you'll barely know i was there

but my melodies
my undertones
the cadences
that i impressed upon your soul

will forever be in your heart

when i cease to exist in your memory

On the verge of everything
On the verge of crying
On the verge of breaking
On the verge of jumping
On the verge of pulling the trigger
On the verge of swallowing the pill
On the verge of drowning
On the verge of collapsing
On the verge of not breathing

Just a breeze will ******* over

And I'll fall off of the edge

I wear many hats
i switch them up
Turn them
                                       in          
                             side
                                     out
I wear the hat
that presents me
as the person i am
in the moment

But how do I wear so many different hats?
how can i be such a
versatile,
flexible,
changeable,
thing?

Do I Even Have A Personality?
Or AM I jusT a BundLe of PaRts?

Interchangeable pieces,
No defined course of action

am i even a person?

or just a reflection of who i think i should be?

Let's smile
To hide our pain

Let's smile
Even if it's fake
It will be real in a while

At least, that's what everyone says

But I've been smiling,
For quite a while

Is it working?
I still taste bile

Still, I have to believe
That one day I will be whole
I have to keep going
Until I'm in control

Let's smile

you are my muse
but i cannot make music

you are my inspiration
but my ideas are gone

when i write for you
the words turn sour

i cannot sing for you
the notes go flat

i love you
but we do not fit together

we are puzzle pieces
that belong
in different puzzles

we do not fit

i do not fit

sp1nning
fluctuat1ng
all around me

the 1mages never stay the same
as soon as 1 think 1 see 1t
1t changes
a small shift
throwing my percept1on 1nto a d1zzying dance

c1rcular room
m1rrors enfolding me
1n a reflect1ve embrace

1 see myself
warped
1n a million d1fferent places
a superf1c1al 1mage of me

the embrace of the m1rrors
turns strangling
constr1cting snapshots of my face

gasp1ng
chok1ng
for air

but relief does not come

1 am encased in a million different vers1ons of myself