46 stories up
two halls down
fifth door on the left
through the sitting room,
the kitchen,
second bedroom door
past the twin sized mattress
and posters of drugged up bands
pull back the curtains gently
unlatch the balcony door
step outside and try to catch ---
oops, too late
I jumped.

You paint your nails
ten different colors
and wear three layers of shirts
Two shades of eyeshadow
and twelve favorite songs
in six different genres
and hide
a rope and a gun under your pillow
because you are indecisive.

desire
wish
thirst
hunger
yearning
greed
lust
covetousness
lasciviousness
lechery
why couldn't it just be
LOVE

What hate gains
Love can tame

She calls to me beyond my future
She says "dad I miss you"
She holds an old family picture
And I love her ... and her mom too

I think about her day and night
Never be the same again
She voids the dark in all her light
I miss my daughter...my best friend

Annie is my one true love
I will love her like her dad
She is an angel from up above
And will give me my child
Im glad

Love

My mind is waging a war
With the old girl next door
She's full of joy and hope
Sunken in quick sand
Too thick to reach out a hand
And grab onto her rope

Life's little beauties
Have the power
To astound me

Life's little horrors
Have the power
To paralyze with anxiety

and
*I'd rather just feel nothing