it’s falling, it’s falling.. everything is falling all of a sudden.
but why is it falling?
because i am alone. because i am not being currently distracted from anything.
ahh, there you go again misplacing your emptiness for loneliness. why do you do that?
well-
because you can’t stand to be around yourself for longer than five seconds in a clear head.
i mean-
i did not miss your rude interruptions.. so you fill me up with anything you can find in the moment; smoke, drugs, men, food that i’m not hungry for, or perhaps i’m in dire need of and you neglect me.
now, it seeeems like you’re trying to get rid of me.
no offense but you cause all of the pain i feel. like is it really my fault when you decide to start aching deeeep inside that i eliminate it through punishment? you hurt people and you get hurt back, besides you wear the shades of blue and purple rather well.
hold up, you think i am the one causing that ache? i’ve lain dormant for years, constantly kicked in the face each time i try to get up. you suffocate me, you deprive me, you do not honor me as you should. you lay me down time and time again to feed your sick habits. it would be like YOU to throw your nastiness on someone else, though. reminds me of someone in particular we know-
don’t. you. dare.
go look at me and tell me i’m wrong?
you can’t.
i was in a depressive state, sitting alone in a dark room, having this very talk inside my head.