if I tie your wrists to the arms of a chair, until your fingers turn purple and muscles tense up for lack of circulation, your limbs incapable of movement, your body no longer under your control, do you think I could match the pain you made me feel when you decided my body belonged to you?
If I lock you in a jail cell, seven feet by two, key between my palms scraping against my flesh, blood dripping from my open tissue because somehow you still hurt me even when you can't touch me, do you think then maybe I could escape from thoughts of you breaking free, able to invade me again?
if I drown your eyes in hydrochloric acid, would the color burn away like the way you stole the color in mine? Like the way you stole the colors from my life?
I can only see in meaningless shades of grey, for the rare moments I actually choose to open my eyes

when you slid your tongue down my torso and bit into my skin with your carnivorous incisors to write your name
when you penetrated my soul with an uninvited spirit to shift mine out of the way
when you decided I was no longer inside of my body, for I had to make room for you
you forgot to bury my mangled corpse and
you left me to the ground to be fed on by the animals with blood on their breath
and I'm running out of meat

there was a mirror in my room
with eyes that only observed.

its seen me bare, naked.
its seen me clothed, covered.

its watched me grow, become.
its watched me fade, breakdown.

and when i shattered,
so did that mirror.

10th July 2017

To My Husband

As I watch your life, slipping away
We share all the things we want to say

We have time to reflect, encourage and love
To be grateful with warmth, to look beyond and above

We remember the good and laugh at the bad
And take time to listen and embrace the sad

It is a rich time, this time that we have
What has been, what is now, is what will be had

As your strength fades, and your eyes slowly dim
We look beyond the body you are in

When death approaches and your final breath taken
We know your spirit, will soar with elation

You will look at this world and say your goodbyes
And peace will take you as you pass through the sky’s

All the best for your journey
Your loving wife

your demons
it seems,
are your children,
your dreams.
(the meaning you see in things).
they have always been here.
needing you.
fearing you.
hearing you.

they are the yearning truth,
heed them and hold them and know them.
feed and compose and unfold them.
remember?
before the never they were golden

            a universe was inverted.
            they, were themselves, reborn.
            however, now, contorted

ever endless severings dwell in their untellings.
wanting for forgetting.
but beckoning an ending
for the shadows they are shedding

with your most tender thoughts,
touch them and love them and listen.
with your greatest truth listen.
with your compassion, affect them.
with your acceptance, perfect them.

As the birds began to rise
To the sound of falling cones of the pine
Knocking along the bark of the trees,
I gazed up in silence
With a sort of ease;
The forest is so still
You can feel it echoing.
As the birds did arose they began to sing
Following along the ole piney rhythm.
Never have I heard of musicians so gifted,
Never can a man write a song that’s so sweet