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Twigzy Feb 2019
When I am old and frail and weak
(And my bowels empty before the seat)
And I need to be washed and dressed and tweaked
I hope you are kind and understand
That this is what happens to woman and man

When my joints are swollen with grinding pain
And my skin is wrinkled, thin and plain
I hope you will see my eyes have light
And laughter and joy are my only delight

My thinking may not always be sure
But my love is the same as it was before
I am in a completely helpless state
And rely on you for my end fate

My world gets smaller each passing day
Little by little it ebbs away
So when you draw the curtains wide
I sit and see the world outside

The sky, the trees, the grass, the flowers
All moving to my counted hours
They wave to me with final breath
And I wave back before I rest
My mother spent her last year almost imobile before she passed away at age 91. During this time I would observe her gazing outside through the large windows. I tried to capture what she was feeling. ***
Twigzy Oct 2018
Never think you are not loved
You just think in your heart you are loved
Found this in my granddaughters bedroom when I was tidying it up. If she has sown this in her heart at such a young age. She will become a strong woman xxxxxx
  Sep 2018 Twigzy
Ciel Noir
this is a pit                                                              ­          and into it
we throw our garbage                                           and our ****
       our grease                                                           ­      and grit    
   our slime                                                            ­and swill
  and all the people                                     that we ****
flotsam and jetsam                           film and oil
compacted into                              fertile soil
beneath the steep         and jagged *****
     there grows         a single flower

Twigzy Sep 2018
Darkness suffocates me
I sence my death

My strength evaporates into nothing
I will not exist as I am

My eyes have ceased their vision
My heart offeres no beat

My screams have no voice
Just silent echos across the street

Angry words attack me, tearing my mind
Family discarded, abandoned and void

Torment has outlived my joy
It gnaws through my bones

Gashing wounds seeping with pain
No embrace ever came

My blackness is hidden
No-one can draw me out

Breathe freely this destruction of self
To gain the bitter end

Twigzy 2013
Writing this poem saved my life. I did not want a bitter end
Twigzy Sep 2018
Your children are a precious gift so innocent and pure.
At their birth you have the hope of love, lasting evermore.

You spend your waking days attending to their needs,
Waiting for the next smile and sound of utter glee,

And when you sleep you dream of them and wait until the dawn,
Rising before break of day to greet them in the morn,

Your babies grow and soon become your little girls and boys.
You exchange all their play things for larger, bigger toys.

You’ve learned about mothering and matured along the way,
But your relationship with their daddy isn’t turning out ok.

There are ups and downs and you expect that to be true.
But underlying unhappiness begins to escape through.

Daddy doesn’t seem to be all he is meant to be,
Late nights in the lounge, is he watching the TV?

Your children keep you happy though, just look into their face,
They make you smile, they make you laugh, and they fill you with grace.

But underlying unhappiness cannot be washed away,
It’s growing like a tumour, just waiting for its day.

You are not sure what it is, but this one thing you know,
No matter what happens now, you enjoy watching your children grow.

The pre-teen years are nearly over and the high school years draw near.
Then one child beckons you and whispers in your ear.

“Daddy’s been molesting me it started when I was four
All those times you were asleep, he came through my bedroom door
He put his hands all over me I couldn’t make him stop
I wanted to die many times, to fall down and drop!

He hurt me with his ***** mummy, I am so ashamed
I was too scared to tell before because I was to blame
Once, you were in the room mummy, I could see you sleeping
He molested me then and there mummy, I could hear your breathing

My heart screamed out to you mummy, but I did not exist,
My soul began to suffocate and death seemed freedoms bliss.”

The words your child is speaking echo through an empty void,
And darkness falls around you, encumbering you like a shroud.

Someone just stuck a knife into the heart of what was sacred.
Your precious children have been filled with someone else’s hatred.

You need some help, you need to grieve but who can be trusted.
The fear the shame the hurt the blame your heart is torn and busted.

You collect your shattered children and hold them very tight,
You hold them ever so-close, you hold them with all your might.

Flashes of the years gone by ignite before your eyes,
And you see so clearly, all the torment in his lies.

Time has passed you by and your children have grown
But it feels only yesterday you were crushed against the stones
This was how the my first marrage ended.
Our family has survived. My children have become brave adults, they are my heroes
Twigzy Jul 2017
10th July 2017

To My Husband

As I watch your life, slipping away
We share all the things we want to say

We have time to reflect, encourage and love
To be grateful with warmth, to look beyond and above

We remember the good and laugh at the bad
And take time to listen and embrace the sad

It is a rich time, this time that we have
What has been, what is now, is what will be had

As your strength fades, and your eyes slowly dim
We look beyond the body you are in

When death approaches and your final breath taken
We know your spirit, will soar with elation

You will look at this world and say your goodbyes
And peace will take you as you pass through the sky’s

All the best for your journey
Your loving wife
My husband was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer we only had a few months to say goodby and make peace. It was the richest time of our marriage

— The End —