When I am old and frail and weak (And my bowels empty before the seat) And I need to be washed and dressed and tweaked I hope you are kind and understand That this is what happens to woman and man
When my joints are swollen with grinding pain And my skin is wrinkled, thin and plain I hope you will see my eyes have light And laughter and joy are my only delight
My thinking may not always be sure But my love is the same as it was before I am in a completely helpless state And rely on you for my end fate
My world gets smaller each passing day Little by little it ebbs away So when you draw the curtains wide I sit and see the world outside
The sky, the trees, the grass, the flowers All moving to my counted hours They wave to me with final breath And I wave back before I rest
My mother spent her last year almost imobile before she passed away at age 91. During this time I would observe her gazing outside through the large windows. I tried to capture what she was feeling. ***
I live in a world now where legend and nightmares are abound And screeching and screaming are the only sound Buried alive I don't think I'll survive Please don't resuscitate don't revive Please don't look, turn around just leave me to die Everything in my life has gone awry I think this my friend could be my final goodbye
Perhaps it was easy to fall back into what it was, what we were... An almost-friendship acquaintance, rather than what we could be- like an almost-lover friendship... no, that'll be a harder fall. Because we never really had any memories to forget, never had, never will.
I am seeing 'this' for what it really is, A fragile bubble too easy to pop with single pin *****- and the larger it gets, the thinner it becomes- as it goes untouched, it will just vanish into nothingness without any trace of its prior existence.
And that's what it is, was... a something sort of nothing.
It was one sided all along, and I had to break my own reverie to wake up from a beautiful nightmare. Because you can't, you won't.