Back at the shore, on my own this time,
I'm free now, yes, but alone.
I'm left with nothing,
No pain,
No rhyme,
On a beach less sand than stone.


The tide still licks the shore for crumbs,
But nothing hides beneath.
No voice calls out in dark, feigned scorn,
No stoic secretly cries for release.


The world outside worked magic for real,
It promised us strength in identity,
But now I'm just beginning to feel,
There's actually something wrong with me.


I can't go back until I know,
That your death has served some purpose.
What chance is there, to survive and grow,
When even ghosts can hurt us?


"Perhaps", I said, "it's all unspoken", aloud,
To myself, discovering,
How words can wound but silence drowned,
A heart that's still recovering.

The clavicle of my thought
Corroding my innerds as though knowing me
Amputations avast my yearning body
Smother me with remorse
Burn thy soul with your ecombered hands
Take the life which was given to me without my consent
Undeserving to be in such place
The music notes of life
A wide spread torrent
Downpour on those who do not believe
Those who shan't believe
Those
Those are free
Jagged pulse
Viens caked
Flow has softened
Work has stopped

tearing every inch of me apart
piece by piece
until i've lost the different halves of me
the days go by, i lose myself a bit each time
oh, where does it all go?
where does your body go if you never return home?
---
people are young, that much is true
but i know for once that i'm older than you
and when i look into your eyes
i see my fears reflected back to me
the fear of dying young and living too old
because dying when you're young reaffirms your dreams
and dying when its all said and done gives you a legacy

who is my soul? i may never learn
could be built from the shadows
on planets far away from earth
could be constructed from the cracks
chipped off of asteroids,
a visual representation of the void
i'd argue that it doesn't matter where
each part of me comes from this universe
---
i want to glide along a cosmic wavelength
feel myself move through multiple dimensions
if space-time is a continuum then why am i stuck
in a vacuum, forced to live a life of singularity?

He still lives with demons
that once held him tenderly
when no one would
be able to find the words
to say that fill the glass
as it is tipped back
and slowly emptied
of the liquor that stirs
memories from the headwind
that blew the lovers' hair back
on the drive through autumn
windy, windy mountain paths
as another Queen song plays
on the radio and the raindrops
on the windshield tap along
with fingertips against the steering wheel
to Freddy Mercury and shared heartbeats.

The truth is he is lying
there like an open wound
as he begins to measure self-worth
with texting tempo and memories
of last summer being too hot
to cuddle with one another
though it was more than enough
to hold feet under the thin sheets
that remember the glass
once again filling with words
as another drink is emptied
and his head burst through clouds
leaving him to hydroplane
through windy, windy mountain paths
as the raindrops on the windshield
applaud with the demons
that beckon tenderly for his return.

i'm not stupid enough to believe
that everything lasts forever
and that nobody ever leaves
because i've seen it happen
so many times to me

everything i've ever had to let go of
has claw marks on it

but the thing is, i'm fine with that:
with things changing
with people leaving me
i guess i just came to terms
with the fact that that's life

but the one thing i don't think
i can ever handle
would be losing you

i think it would wreck me to pieces
i think it would leave me so devastated
that it would be like tearing my heart right out of my chest,

because i think i'm in love with you
and i don't even care about losing anyone else

you are all i've ever wanted.