I lie here,

Covered in shame,
All I can think about is my mistakes,
Nothing I've done makes
This life worth living...

Someone listen to my cries or
Let me die.
Each breath is
Excruciating...
Please, let me sleep forever

there is light without me
I do not bring joy
or happiness
or purpose
I do not bring
anything to the table
I do not bring
anything useful
I do not bring a single
dam smile to anyone's face
because I am darkness
and light is abundant without me
I do not belong here
with these talented
and smart and
beautiful people
I do not belong here
I do not fit in with these
motivated and driven
and perfect people
I do not belong
where the light is
for I am darkness
and light does not need me
this world does not need me
these people do not need me
I am not needed
nor am I wanted
I am a waste and I am
taking the place of someone
who deserves this
more so than me
because I am darkness
and light detests me
I am disliked
I am unloved
I am forgotten
I am dead
darkness is me
darkness is in my head
darkness is abundant
and the light in me has fled

the room is quiet
my thoughts are loud
i see shadows
i see demons
i see my future in the ground
the rope is tied
the gun is loaded
i see the end
i see death
im shattered and broken
death is a friend
i am not scared
death is near
death is good
no one really cared
the room is cold
my thoughts are quiet
im at the end
im with death
how else could i have fixed it?

how long can I keep saying
"everything is fine, everything will be okay"
before I start to crumble,
before I finally break...
how long can I fake a smile,
how long can I fake happiness
before I start to crumble
before I fall to pieces
how long will I suffer
how long will I cry
before I end it all
before I finally die

he loves me...
he says beautiful words
he tells beautiful stories
he looks at me with adoration,
or
at least
it seems that way...
he loves me not...
he doesn't always remember me
he doesn't always acknowledge me
he doesn't always keep his promises
yet
it seems like
he loves me...
because his bright smile shines when he sees me
because his eyes shimmer when he sees me
because he told me he loves me
but
words
don't mean anything
right?
he loves me not...
because he hurt me
because he scarred me
because he told me he hates me
yet
words
don't mean anything
right?

there is something in my head,
something deep inside me,
living off my happiness and
expelling all my conscienceness

this thing inside my head,
the thing that's deep within,
whispers things to me and
tells me who to be

the thing inside my head,
the thing that's deep within,
is poison slowly killing me and
only death can save me

demons in my head,
demons deep within,
demons come to **** me and
only death can free me