My bad dreams won't leave me alone these thoughts keep circling my sub conscious.

They wait till I'm most vulnerable to attack I can't relax not for a second.

If I do they are there screaming at me over and over again taunting me till I'm awoken in a cold sweat with tear stained cheeks.

I can't go back its too frightening so I sit huddled trying my hardest to  disappear.

Until the light shines through my widow and the screams soften slightly and I am forced to carry on till the next time I'm back in bed and the voices take over once again...

Please be happy.  
Your smile is beautiful            

Please dont cry.  
Just dry your eyes

Please dont leave me.
Because I wont survive without you
                                                              
P­lease dont lie.          
Because I want to trust you

Please look at me how you look at her.
Because it seems as if shes the only  ******* earth

Please hold me in your arms.
Because I want to fall alseep happy for once

Please never say good bye.
I cant take that pain

Please stay with me.
Forever and ever

Please be mine
Because I'm already your's

Please love me.
just please...love me

When I close my eyes all I see is you...

As I lie in bed I imagine you there with me, holding me while you slowly tickle my back with your heart beat and our shallow breaths the only sound I can hear.

I feel warm...safe
        
I just wish it wasn't a fantasy and you were really here with me ♡

I could look into your eyes for an eternity
    
Your deep blue eyes are the best part of my day

Those eyes make me believe that life is worth living

And that everything will be ok as long as they are directed at me

So please don't look at another, because I desperately want those eyes
To be set on mine...forever

So I have decided to be my own hero

Not because I'm a good role model
or someone to look up too

But because it will just be so much easier

My decisions won't shock me
nor will my actions

When we worship people like
John Lennon
Or
Kurt Cobain

The drug use seems so tragic
and the gunshots leave us terrified

But if its just me I won't be taken aback
By how much I have changed

And no one will care about what I do

Cuts on my wrists wouldn't be front page news and my failures will be forgotten and ignored

But most of all I think that if its me

I won't find the drug use that tragic

And the gun shots won't be that terrifying

We could do it you know

We could run away together and leave all of it behind

All the second thoughts all the outside opinions would vanish

We could just be together

We could spend everyday doing things that make us happy

There would be no expectations no moral obligations

Just us and what we want to do

We really could do it you know

But the question is...
Would you want to?