You were such a liar for someone
who had eyes as innocent as a child

"Lonely is a knife who's handle fits the
mind too well, it's oldest and most hospitable friend" - Don McKay
(Nocturnal Animals)

.......
January light
               off a clowncar passerby
who latches their gloves
               to polka-dotted walls painted
with blood and sometimes
              morning mercury

a lipstick kiss
a cereal box opened for the last time
before it's owner packs their belongings and leaves to the aforementioned morning!
his own (!!!sunshine bride!!!)
isolation who waits for summer's attentions
and beach side              lanterns being gifted       to my uncle
(THE MOON)
and those distant relatives gleam expectantly but live too far
OVER          THE          CONTINENT          OF          GAL­AXIES
TO                BE             PAID                        ANY       MIND


My shoes squeak and mice
bark beneath
muddy
floor-
boards.

February now associated with poison
a phantom evergreen
an unwritten love letter to someone who's starved of intimacy and who currently shakes the cereal box trying to find the prize after everything else has been eaten, everyone else has left.
All of Shiva's thousand barbed toenail clippings packed up in a nicely crafted bag
delivered to her partner's door
(26 miles away)
on a neighboring island

"THANK YOU!
WISH YOU WERE HERE!"

A photograph is only as sentimental as the memory of that who took it
(after which it becomes a subjective experience
a visual poem
a sort of hallucination...? sort of?)
FIREPLACE...
CRICKETS IN A WHEAT FIELD...(OHIO)
THERMOMETERS WHISTLING INTO THE BEDROOM SKULLS
OF SLEEPY CHILDREN...
you know?

.....those years now faint, and times decayed with the leprosy of time itself
.....who's shelf life may be 365 days or more??
depends on how well it was [PACKAGED] to be [HONEST]

As a crater now ABANDONS it's irradiated animals to pocket another fiver
or blow another lost pup who's mouth is burning with rabies
(holding that secret like a wartime lover, just as she holds her secret of me)
The cardboard apartment walls wet with expired milk
checkers on a dusty table facing the TV.
Threads of the lampshade discombobulate people's dreams
***** phase patterns
(BUH-DUH-DUH-DUH ! ! ! !)
one of those classics you'd of heard on the insect portable radio
tuned-in to the Tuesday
after this Tuesday
but too late to go back to last Tuesday
always ALWAYS too late to go back but that's okay
they didn't get to the moon only to find somebody else had already
planted their feet to the ground!
Kitchen cupboards loose with the mayhem of a forgotten fever
grabbing all the canned goods in the night
to leave the place feeling like a watered-down insomnia
the clock tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick
quiet except for the tick
a nervous tick
a habitual motion of the arms
no medication can cease
as it's all made up
the imaginary friend called S E I Z U R E

2016 the Chinese new year
(year of the monkey)
hopefully we don't go all ape
and **** up what we hardly have going anyways,
between you and I
THE BEDLAM thrives in
community
as they are
one and
the same.

If you're ever feeling down,
Or wish that you were miles away,
Wake up and breathe and smile,
At another brand new day.

oh darling,

will you let me into that broken heart of yours?

i know i've already asked before,

but please give me a chance, i will not ask anymore

oh darling

just let me come inside

just this one time

so i can sew your heart back together

i'll be as gentle as a feather

oh darling

will you let me in?

i want to fix your broken heart

so you can be as beautiful as a piece of art

no, i'm not saying you weren't beautiful

you actually almost persuaded me to believe that being sad was apart of beauty,

but i believe that it's my duty to take all of that sadness and madness from your heart,

and replace it with joy, love, happiness, and so much more.

if i could i would take all of those terrible things from above, to mars beneath the stars

oh darling

i know i'm asking for a lot

but i don't want to see your lovely heart rot and decay

just listen to me when i say

that it kills me every day

when you lay on your back and cry

i would die just to fix that lovely heart of yours.

so darling,

will you let me in?

love, me.

you looked into my eyes today,
and i finally felt what i have been praying for.
i felt a sense of relief.
my stomach didn't drop
and my knees didn't feel weak.
I've come to realization
that what we had
was not love,
it was childish lust.
I finally know
that my heart no longer rests in your hands.
I finally feel free
from the grip of your eyes
because when I looked back into them today
I
felt
**nothing.