I’m sorry I’m so clumsy
Some days it seems like the world is fighting me at every step
And I’m losing the battle
I stumble over every stubborn staircase
I trip over my tongue like an uneven rug
Every new set of walls is a labyrinth I get lost in
Every move I make is disjointed and uncertain
My fingers and feet flail when I’m carrying precious, fragile things
And before I know it I’m sprawled on the floor
Surrounded by shattered fragments
Bruised and aching
Burning with humiliation and frustration

But I’ll try to be careful.
If you will be brave enough to trust me
I will try to keep my steps in line and my path straight
I will try to find the rhythm in the song of my surroundings

I will try to see beyond my limitations
My faults, my failures, my frequent falls
I will try to look up and see the beauty in the world
Instead of staring at my feet in fear
I may trip at times
But I will not be trapped in trepidation

I ask for your patience
I am trying to be patient with myself too
My best is all I can really do
And I will do what I can to be the best for you

never going out with it
the hole that's leaving my soul bare
im guilty
i wish i could tell you things
instead i can only stare
and pray you understand

improbably divine, it happened still.
reborn, rebuilt, rebroken and rejoined,
like grass that grows across the asphalt scars,
some different kind of me with changing will.
adapting. morphed. you know, sometimes,
the thing what hurts you so, so much
can turn into a blessing in disguise.
or so I hope.

took out the glass shards from my feet,
then stepped one time, ignoring pains,
covered the road with my blood stains.
it hurts, but so important still. and so,

I'm ready now to step again
and re-discover

There is nothing more I wish
Than to see the loved ones
As they pass away.
Because every time they died,
I was never around
And they died alone.
At home, or at a hospital.
During my school hours
Or in the deepest night.
And I don't want to be elsewhere.
I want to be there.
I NEED to see them.
To properly say
Goodbye.

And thank you.

Stop.

Calm.

Exhale.

clear your mind.

breath in.

and out.

This world
is kind.


You will be fine.

You're doing great.

inhale.

exhale.

four - seven - eight.


Now hug yourself
and softly smile.

or cry a little.

breathe for a while.


accept

and calm.

see what is there:
your favourite place
you've built with care?

strong growing plants,
delicious tea?

a patch of sunlight,
warm, gentle sea?

inhale... and listen
for a while.


it all will pass.

and all be fine.

♥

Back then you were
Happy, thankful, content
A year later
Broken, wailing and spent
A month later
Hopeful, nervous and sad
A week later
It's the worst that you've ever had
A day later
You're healing and turning to friends
An hour later
Treading barefoot in the sand
A minute later
't was never so easy to love
A second later
Your heart's being taken apart...
What will happen,

we never know from the start.

You've been there, seen that, done that, -
But I don't care because
I have to try to be there,
I need to go and see that,
I must attempt to do that -
But this time, on my own.