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I starved
hard trying to be someone you are not
but sometimes you just can't stop

The year I disfigured myself
to not forget I was in a deaf kind of pain
misunderstood everywhere
a sickly work of art I became
didn't die but of course I did implode

I starved for months
watching myself be destroyed
**** for the soul, going way too far
and yet I could see a dim light...

Getting thinner and thinner
and knowing it's mad but
no one seems to be hearing
I guess
Just one of my weird antics
of the way I once used to be
Now there were two of them
Separated between thousands
of read texts and timely
chats touched by sound
but not skin  
Awake in the others sleeping
Sleeping in the others awake  
Restless as they wait
Restless as they wait
We wear the mask that grins and lies to everyone we love about everything we care about. The mask comes off only to be replaced by another, one for every single aspect of our lives. The masks are how we want people to see us, what we want people to think of us; like a subtle hypnosis. Tricked and deceived, the world shuns us, and so shuns itself, for the world is a mask. We never see underneath the mask to look at the real situation, their real feelings until it is too late, until they are absolutely powerless to stop us. That’s when we start to care and reflect, but it doesn’t matter anymore because you did not make the best of the time you had with the ones wearing the masks. The masks that come off by choice are statistics; they are leaders of nations until it is time for them to lie once more and don their old masks, or to make a new one, the effect is very much the same. The masks hide our feelings, the masks are our thoughts. The masks are our lives; to take off the mask is to die.
 Oct 2020 just-a-little-bird
Wary
Stopped drowning in your memories
Started living happily in my own dreams
Because being stable and self loving
That's the spirit of a happy human being
Happy life
 Oct 2020 just-a-little-bird
KHY
rain bends leafs to their depths
they ring out colour that fills the earths chest
a coat of white on a heap of life
unto death
on wet wood

Black ants and poisonous snakes-
Creeped out and slithered around-
The rotten wood full of ugly desire-
As I ignite the fire.

on Shakespeare

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”
Summer of terror and discontent;
The funeral of Shakespeare’s sonnet-
As I weep in tragic.

on pouring rain

Sunday is in silent agony;
Lights out, curtains down;
Angry sky cries in vain-
As I mute the rain.

on bittersweet coffee

One, two and more of grandé
Iced-cold caffeine in my blue vein;
Hands are still, the world’s unstirred-
As I sip the last drop of despair.
This is the third part of my poem. Read "The Prologue" first, followed by "The Encounter".
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