I lay here,
all alone.
Going on,
with you still gone.

Holding tears back,
from my own face.
I can call home now,
just any place.

I 'm such a mess,
you don't appear.
There's so much stress,
it's been a year.

Where are you,
most likely to be?
I ask for you!
But your face I cannot see.

And I still lay here,
crippled by fear,
and you 're still somewhere.
this isn't fair.

"Who am I deep down?"
I 'm thinking to myself.
And age old question
that echoes through my mind

Am I just my body
or am I merely just my thoughts?
Or am I maybe the conscience
that's runs throughout my brain?

I 'm asking without end
yet the answer can't be found
and in the silence I can hear
somebody whisper in my ear:

"I hope someday you find this out
the answer as to who you really are
may the mystery just shrivel
and only then you"ll find your peace."

Moments of agony, desperation
and inarticulate screams
moments I lost myself in space, alienation
don't you abandon me too, please!

There were moments that I saw death
and destruction
moments where my heart stopped for a while
to function..

All the world is spinning like crazy,
don't know what to do
while the thoughts in my head are racing
and I seem like a fool.

There is no one around here to save me
i feel alone
oh my God the demons come running across my mind, don't hate me!
to desperation I am prone,
I 'm feeling sick to the bone,
into a man I have not grown,
all I can do is shout and moan.

I never thought I´d miss you so
and that I´d cry late at night
I never thought I´d be alone
and that you´d go out of sight

So many aches that haven´t passed
So many tears I haven´t shed
I was your first you were my last
our love was but a broken thread

And you seem able to move on
making new friends, laughing out loud
forgetting me before the dawn
can´t help but think my sadness out

And I have stayed still for days
still haven't eaten, drunk or smoked
and in my mind I see your face
and in my sighs I feel being choked

When will this martyrdom just stop?
when will my grief just cease to appear?
As I go on this huge hilltop,
will all my suffering get clear?

I 've seen all her ways
and tasted her red lips
got burned by her gaze
got lost in her lovely mist

Cold like the winter rain
Hot as a summer breeze
Sweet like a heart blood-stained
and bitter as a lemon squeezed

She never said she loved me
but I always knew inside
Deep in her soul she wants me
even though she likes to hide

And as the night slowly falls
my love for her awakes
under the sheets my guilt still crawls
making me think of my mistakes.

The nights are long and dark
my tears are cold as snow
my heart's being torn apart
my soul has ceased to flow

Her words like sharpened knives
her eyes like candle flames
her smile as always hides
and brings forth thousand pains

Suffering endlessly I am
screaming at God for my mistakes
praying for change at last to come
as I am healing all of my aches

I never took us seriously
I thought of love as being a game
it all was gone so beautifully
oh baby its such a shame

This is the only thing I ask
I want your heart to just be whole
don't worry bout me I 'm in the past
I will no longer burn your soul.