at 4 in the
morning the sun
is never up
but i usually am

i worry
about things
that are out of
my control
even more about
things that are

get up early
when i work
and earlier
when i don’t
the older i get the
more i learn
sometimes you
need to cry it out

alone
at night
into your pillow
the blankets
wrapped all
around you

sometimes you
need to cry
and cry
and cry

until the morning
sun falls across
the tears dried
under your lashes

and the lump
in your throat has
dissolved so you can
breathe with ease

you need to get up
let hot water
wash it away
let the steam rising
from your mug soften
any sorrow left around
your morning eyes
take a deep breath
don’t mention it
to anyone

and
just
keep
going

i will
just
keep
going

Have you really lived,
If you haven't slept under the
Ever so immense sky
Gazing at the small shivering stars
And the mighty moon in her solitude?

Have you really lived
If you haven't held the hands,
The soft, warm hands, of your lover
On a cold, crisp and bitter day?

Have you really lived
if you haven't felt and appreciated
The small things in life?

It's the first time I've ever
bought you flowers;
I only realise this
when I'm minutes away
from your funeral.

How does it feel, knowing that the world long ago
figured you for a suicide?  Do you ever
get the sense that you're
disappointing your audience?

Today,
I am a
cadaver-in-waiting.
Cold, stiff and
ashen, I am
ready for
autopsy and entropy.