isn't it amazing
how lovers
can become strangers
so quickly

isn't it funny
how burning love
can turn ice cold
so suddenly

and isn't it tragic
how two people
can **** each other
instantly

I should have known
from the way
you reeked of overdone spice
and india pale ale
and from the way
depression
and cigarette smoke
lingered around you
that i should run//
But to cover all that
you put on a smile
and told me bright lies
to keep me around
and therefore
i stayed
only to watch
you leave
and never look back

and now
i will sever the strings
that once tethered us together
with the pieces of me
that you shattered

i will forge a divide between us
deep enough to swallow
my hearts temptations
for i am eve
and you are my vice

i will tear apart continents
and demarcate the soil that stands between
our now sovereign feet
if it means the storms you contrive
will no longer wash away
the delicate foundations of myself

but
i am learning how
to escape the darkness
that once held me hostage

i am learning that
the deadened highs
from the mephitic lies
you breathed into my lungs
arent worth the crushing suffocation
that shadowed

i am learning to accept
that the loneliness that keeps me company
in your absence
is not evident of weakness
but the result of me instilling faith
back into my own two feet

and an assertion of the strength i have
to live on my own


x.

I wish you knew how hard I’m trying.
How hard it is to get out of bed.
How hard it is to be around people.
How hard it is to crack a smile and pretend.
I wish you knew how much I loved you.
I wish you knew it’s not your fault.
I wish
;

I never learn and I never will
I always hurt when I'm with you
I let you walk all over me
I let you hurt me
Whether with words or actions
As much as this hurts I cant let go
I know you love her, of course who wouldn't?
She is perfect in all the ways
Where I'm nothing at all but someone who's faithful.
But at the end of the day that isn't enough
I guess I'll have to keep trying.

just two kids
riddled with anxiety and depression
finding comfort in each other
loving each other
stumbling through life
hoping to make it out
alive

i'm lying in bed
and i'm crying
because
i miss you
and i cry harder
because
you don't miss me
and that
breaks my heart
because
you don't want me
like i want you