I stood apart with aloof dignity
A distant smile
He was upstage with strangers
Erudite I am with many
Downtrodden was never
Aloof for the school of accepted
Erudiate becomes obsolete

let the race
go on and
be won and
be lost
inevitable
fast
without me


I will be
playing
on the side
of the road
with the daisies
and the crickets
and the wild-growing
fennel
​

a fleeting whoosh
to the rushing
passerby
and they a whoosh
to me

​
as clouds
hang humid
and yearn to
speckle their
summer mist
a-top puffs of
breeze and
rosy cheeks
and
saplings

​
I will be
spending my
sunshine day
with face
upturned and
hair a-mess
and
eyes not
looking where
they're going


© 2017 Adelaide Heathfield

I tend to have a deep endearment and emotional intrest in coldhearted people, i see good in them, and i want to develope a relationship with them, i fall inlove with what i know they can be, i want to be there for them and see what there about, i have this huge thing for ******* type people, but sometimes when you play with fire, theres a great possibility you will get burned.

If could only state how I felt the first day I walked passes you awkwardly staring at you from the side of my eye
How your eyes almost wiped out everything around then
And your voice, the moment the sound hit my ear drum, I fell for you
Sometimes I'd sneak into room
Just to slowly creep in your head quietly to read your thoughts pages by page
Sometimes I would sneak into your body and sleep in your rib cage
And sometimes I wrote songs about you
I could never let the memory of the scent on your bare skin and how your tongue tastes slip from me
But I now know I could never hold your heart again
And your buried 6 ft inside of me
I think there's still some of your DNA on my teeth, I know because it conjures up a sweet taste in the mouth
Oh no
Then everyday I would phone you wed talk about how the weather was and how the vessels in your heart pumped oxygen to my blood
Then one summer night you lounged and you layed you're pale body on my should, me and my heart knew, we just knew
But then you said "My love I cannot stay, I've been here once too many"
And I grinned the whole night but my tear ducts tore and I shed
Now I spend my days in bed covered in crumbs
Sad but I agree

everything starts to feel so unreal, I've lost track of who i am, I've lost control and the person i have become feels like a lie, positivity feels so far away, happiness feels so unattainable and i know I'm slowly leading myself to my own demise, I'm slowly dieing  inside and everything is just all depending on time, how long will it take until i crack?

Its like im here, but im not really here, im here physically, but not mentally, in sit here , but where my mind is? That, thats the million dollar question that remains unknown to me. Where is my mind?