Pray for happiness
Pray that you don't lose the thing that fills you
Or lose the person who completes you in a way most people could never understand.
Pray that you stay in the person's life that you love. That you hold on to everything, that you never starve yourself of human affection and beg to be loved and understood again.

Fall reminds me of all the beauty in nature as the leaves change colour. It reminds me of that cool breeze and the smell of fresh air. The sound of snapping twigs as you walk. Fall reminds me of warm apple crumb and the time spent just looking out at the colourful sky, which is no longer only blue, but yellow. Fall reminds me of you.

Dull skies have finally broken
Humidity lifts
and there is air under there--
The last of day
the barest blues
the singe of pink
held up by lumps of charcoal cloud
drifting in scent of backyard fires
The moon curses from its crook of smile

Then hides again
behind the city rooftops and blackened trees
among the aerial cheers of a football game

two miles away

old letters  postcards  color slides
entries in diaries  drafts
of letters maybe never sent
fill boxes after boxes after boxes
left to me by my parents and their ancestors

going through them
I sort out letters  documents certificates
prayer books with scribbles on the margins
school grades  awards  old birthday wishes

of all the photographs I only keep the ones
on which I recognize the faces
those of the strangers I have never known
     and never will
I ditch
together with the many color slides
of mountains I have never climbed
     and never will
and of my parents friends whom I don‘t know
     and never will
with whom they somewhere spent good times

all these were part of my dear parents universe

in my world they mean nothing
have no significance beyond allowing me
to glimpse selected moments of the lives of those
who‘ve come before me and have gone
disappearing quietly
     into the mists of history

leaving blurred views
      as through a frosted window
about their pleasures  loves  anxieties  
catastrophies and tragedies

     enough to tease imagination
     too pale for certainties

hints from the past

I live in my head
In another world
                               A world full of magic
                               Full of mystery
                               Full of adventure
                                                               A world with kings
                                                               Good and bad
                                                               Courageous and cowardly
I live in my head
In another world
                              A world with friends
                              A tight knit group
                              A family to lean on
                                                                 A world of happiness
                                                                 With laughter
                                                                 With inside jokes
I live in my head
In another world
                              A world of love
                              With comradery
                              With protection
                                                           A world I never want to leave
                                                           It's everything I ever wanted
                                                           It's everything I ever needed
I live in another world
That has become my home

It's breaks one's heart, she's so beautiful. Flawlessly mended together. But now it has happened, the media brought the voices in her head. She felt the need to shape her self to world's standards, and so it faded away. Her beauty is no more as she struggles to keep up with the ever changing world. If only she understood how beautiful she is, just the curvy way she is.

Your ghost remains in the buildings of my childhood
In the old stones and broken pathways
In the trees that stood witness to your deceptions
I touch these old walls
And I can’t stop the tears from falling
Like the rain that fell when you left
When the stone pillars of my infancy caved in,
You clung to my worst memories like the fungus
That overtook the walls of the only home I knew
You destroyed the child that only wanted to grow
Resulting in the broken woman you never cared to get to know
                                          -KC  
                               (Letter to Daddy)