I have survived so long to become part of the infinite
I am a thick of mississippi kudzu reaching into every open corner of this home i have built to decorate its walls with my gracious touch
I will find you under a sky washed in amber and your lips will be plump with the riches of comfort
Strangers become friends and then lovers and return once again to passing faces
Someday we will meet with a quiet collision
Drinking dew from your brow like sweet wine, i will reminisce on the nights i have prayed for your wellness
I sow seeds into the ground for myself and for you so that when we are here we may watch the world spin on the point of a needle and see nothing but the green blur of living
I know you as i always have, the child of my unforgiving kindness
Finding ways to teach you everything i know so we can share this ray of sun above our face and know that it has been a long time coming
My blood is the well from which i have watered my spirit until it has sprung from mortal coils and spread through every ugly thing, collecting as veins do to supply these minds with the thrum of my heart
When my eyes have cleared and it is time for me to introduce myself i will grow into every space i have left just for you
The one i wanted so dearly you will find me when i have stopped searching, and stand in awe of my endless being
I have fallen in love with you with every moment i saw men dancing with their brothers and kissing the earth with their blinding joy
I have fallen in love with you through dying breaths where i begged to be given a sign that this was only first of many grievings
I have fallen in love with this feeling of my own skin holding me together so that i may hold you
I was made to feel this

Ain’t it a sinking feeling, up to your ankles in scattered amber
Thick mire, pulling you in to savor the times
Soaked from a missed jump, hooked to a tree at the knees
Worn glass that just won’t break
Bowling for the old town
Made it to the very top, the sky gave a 21 gun salute
To stained shoes and hands, not a spot untouched
Of sloppy mind and simple pleasure
The same movie over again
Two ordinary pals on a river bank, howling and spilling spirits
Momentary departure in the midwest
A hearty slap on the back, smiling nods from the grizzled
A life's prospect in one afternoon, stuck in the mud
Our annual glimpse of the promised land, the warmth of two
They all can see it in our eyes
The great escape

chasing a sunset
beauty at my fingertips and so far away
the distance between love and circumstance gives out blisters on my heart like prizes
congratulations on finding something so bite-your-tongue tempting
when a tree falls in the woods and im there to catch it, does it fall into my arms
does it make a sound on its way in another direction
drown me in a citrus glow, like pineapple syrup, like a homecoming song
****** if i do, ****** if i dont
if i could kiss the horizon and hold her hand i would make myself into a bird or a mountain or the air itself to reach the bridge between earth and sky
i would learn every language under the stars so that my tongue never ran out of ways to beg for light
i am a shapeshifter in the form of a question
teach me how to be yes

Hands in borrowed pockets
Stapled with silver lining
Fold the note into a crane
Dedicate it to the angels
Call it California dreaming
Call it a penny for your thoughts
A goodbye letter to John Denver
Melancholy rivers slipping past your fingertips
Send my love to Venice Beach
The time i prayed for innocence
The moon was full of careful eyes
The crickets sang for me and Van Gogh
In the tune of yellow paint
My pulse met the twilight and became an orchestra
I played a barn full of bullet holes, and the fog applauded as it wept
A fine frenzy, the waves and the stars that kiss them
The wind was full of promises
You won’t miss the sun, child
You can breathe in Alaska
Rest your bones here
I leave blades of grass on your pillowcase
Tie them like promise rings
The binding of a cautionary tale
Weave my hair into the webs of dreamcatchers
Hold the nightmares left behind
Take a sip of the purple sky
Bathed in silver rhapsody
My skin becomes the quilt of all my reasons
And when my chest rises with the first strokes of dawn
I can hear them call my name
I can hear them call me home

Hate the sin
Love the sinner
A mistake is pushing on an old barn door as if you don’t know where hornets live
Painting your nails when you know you’re just gonna chip it off
Chasing down predators
A twisted kind of irony
Dreaming of a haircut and hating it the second you look in the mirror
The things that you fall for are the same things that **** you when you land
The crystal blue water looks like heaven from the top of the cliff
The closer you get the farther your stomach drops
Hate the sinner
Love the sin
You’ll never scrub yourself holy
Demons are born to look like saints for weary eyes
The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t
A roses thorn is worth the ***** of a finger
A drop of blood for her petals of crimson
You know you can’t stay here
You know how this poem ends

If I could write a letter to the girl I used to be
When my friends felt more like paper dolls, and my notebook spilled black ink onto my hands and stained everything I loved
When I met that miracle with crossed eyes and spindle limbs, and decided to hang stars from her eyelashes
When it felt like my furniture had been moved two inches to the left, just enough to feel wrong, just enough to chaffe
I would tell that girl that I found God
And God was nothing like I thought
I would tell her that I met Him when my skin split open, like all the words I swallowed dry had crawled up out of my veins to show me what hurt really felt like
He was my razor, He was my blood, He was the sting of sweat in fresh cuts
That night I thought about you, little girl
I thought about all the reasons I didn't want to die
See, you don't know this yet, but you’re about to meet the family you never had
One lives in Texas but I swear, you’ve never felt so close to someone so far away
She will show you how to have faith in something bigger than yourself, and how warm it is to fill yourself with love
She will be the mother you thought you would never get to meet, and there's not a **** thing you wouldnt do to protect her
And the other one
You're gonna think she's somewhere else entirely, but one by one, the days sitting with her will feel more like home than where you sleep at night
Shes gonna show you how rage can be kind, and how to let the world roll off your back like drops of rain off stained glass windows
She is your brother, and a swiss army knife, and a lucky pair of brass knuckles
The world is gonna kick your ***, kid
You're gonna write it down with a pen fashioned from your bones
and you will never pause to look behind you