When I was younger
I would think
when I grow and hit my teen years
I could start wearing make up
I would get excited
anytime someone did my make up
As I grew older I no longer
longed to want to wear make up
for my mother told me
you look beautiful
without all that make up on
you look beautiful
Just the way you are

As I grew older
even through high school
I never wore make up
Unless it was for a dance
that my friends would then do my make up for me
For if I did my own make up
Which I was capable of putting it on
but making it look good
was the real question
No I probably couldn't
maybe with a ton of practice
but I didn't want to put the time in
to learning something new
that I didn't real care for
because I was
I am
Confident
going to school
college
out in public
On a date
oh and yes even at home
everyday
of my life
without a drop on

You see though
the thing is
I didn't get many compliments
of
you're beautiful
minus my mom
or you look gorgeous
or did I ever tell you
you look amazing without
that mask on
no
I never did except a couple times
now I am not fishing for compliments
Please tell me when you mean it and
not to make me feel better
but when I do get a compliment
I never really know what to say
I sometimes feel like I need to give
a compliment right back
but really at times I will say
thank you or stay silent and smile
I have had people tell me
you should wear make up
you will look beautiful
and then I would love to say
so I look ugly without this make up on?
I don't need to be told
But sometimes just hearing
Those compliments
Makes my day
Any girl you think doesn't get complimented much
Find something real and meaningful to say and
Compliment her
For it could really make her day
And put a smile on her face
But don't ever compliment her
And never mean it

Eyes like the galaxies
You cannot help but lose your thought
A smile that warms your heart
To the core
That you get so nervous
You still cannot remember
What you wanted to say
You look over their shoulder
For your thought process to begin again
You clear your throat
Look down
Deep breath
Just relax and
Let’s try this again

My mind is running blank
As if quicksand absorbs all my thoughts and sank
and my voice, my speech
slipping through the cracks like sand on the beach
I cannot write for my ink is out in my pen
and my thoughts are stuck in my den
I feel like I have lost my voice
but I still have a choice
I need to continue walking the path
but of course I don't need any math
because that would be absurd
Or am I insane that I just want to be heard