Have a cup of anxiety
It will go down well with your vanity
And sip it down your narcissistic throat
All the way down to your stomach bloat
Eat the food for your hungry belly
Watch your legs turn to strawberry  jelly
Your obsessive thoughts come out your ears
As you quickly chew down all your fears
Crybaby  tears and acidic words
Make swallowing all the more absurd
Your mascara smudged eyes watch your
tunnel vision
Your brain candy makes a banana split-
personality decision
It's a nightmare you can barely control
But if you don't  pay attention it will eat
you whole
So swallow down all your crazy mad panics
Along with your trusty reliable xanax

I search for you most everywhere
in my memories - but they aren’t clear  
I look through the tangled strands of my hair
And even in the cigarette smoke in the air

I look inside my heart that’s bled
I look between the words you said
I look in my bed and underneath the covers
I look past the lies you told as my lover

I look for you in rapture,
I look for you in grace
I even try to find you in my
underwear of lace

I thought you may be lurking
beneath my heavy sighs
I swore I saw you swimming
in the tear drops from my eyes

I look for you in my lip stain-
blood red and midnight blue
I look for you on notepads
of sketches that I drew

I look for you in ink spills
on paragraphs of prose
I search for you in my paintings
under hues of amber and rose

I look for you by candle light
in starry nights of black
I look for you in eloquence
dripping down with wax

I don’t think I will find you
for I haven’t got a clue
I think you may be hiding,
it’s something that you’d do.

I know if I keep looking
and remain under your spell
I will finally join you
as I’ll  lose myself as well

You robbed me of my foolish dream
For underneath you weren't what it seemed
You stole my heart and would not give it back
And you had no intention to seal my heart's crack
You used me up when you had nothing
And emptied me out and left me loathing
Your shattered brain and genius mind
Were too far gone and left me blind
I could not see your void of self
I only cared  for your heart and health
You took from me so I could not bear
My fractured love and my eyes of tears.

Now those tears have turned to stone
My blood my veins my every bone
How dare you disappear one day
And leave me here with more to say
You took from me all you could
My gut  my soul as hard as wood
I gave to you my trust and love
You ****** my lust from far above
But I see you lost yourself  below
It cracked and shattered and you'll never know
The pieces left I had to sew
If I shall  see you again one day
I'll take my thread and start to pray
That you will mend and become whole
And I won't tell  a single soul.

Swim in the sorrow of my sea of tears
Dance to the beat of my heartfelt fears
Dive in the deep of my mournful eyes
Hold and embrace every last of my sighs

Plant me in your heart and nurture me there
Tie me to your soul with the strands of my hair
Feed on me and my endless desire
Drink the warmth of my burning fire

Plant me an eden inside of my head
Sculpt me into the folds of your bed
Wrap your arms around my hot **** breath
Love me forever until life becomes death

I'm the one that had to fall because you played the cold guy  after all
You gazed at me with your hazel eyes
if only I had heard the cries
Your outward smile, your artistic tact
Why didn't I see the  shell had cracked?
Your truth began to slowly seep  in
It winked at me with such a big grin
You thought I could see with my third eye
but I only saw your shattered self and I sighed
The energy you began to emit
Made my heart sink and  just want to quit
I can no longer skate on this glass path
I can only fall hard as the feelings of wrath
Overcome my heart and my sensitive skin
Oh lord why can't I ever win?

I did not fall in love with you
So don't run around and claim that's true
It's not your eyes- it's not your smile
It's certainly not your cool guy style

It's not the ways that we had fun
You truly could have been anyone
I'm more in love with love I'd say
You weren't that nice to me anyway

All I loved was the feeling I felt
Which made my heart so quickly melt
It's nothing that you did or said
So get that thought right out of your head

Now don't  start thinking you're so great
because you really weren't that good of a date
I have more bad to say than I do good
And if I could take it all back I think I would

So next time you might think of me
Remember it was just the chemistry-
The dopamine and chasing the high
You could've been just any old guy

Round jiggling loads of goo
Bouncing as I take a step or two
Bulging, bloated stomach ache
From brownies, cookies, pie, and cake
Buttons pop at every move
I can barely try to get my groove
Clothing cuts my circulation
Too many trips to the carving station
I’m feeling like I’m about to burst
So I better try to sit down first
My thighs, they rub and start to chafe
With desserts around I am not safe
My bra -it cuts into my back
I’m going to have to  free this rack
When  I look down and see cellulite
God save me from yet another bite
I’m eating up my aches and pains
Yes -sugar, flour, and whole grains
I’m filling holes of grief and loss
As long as it’s covered with caramel sauce.

You know the way she walks through the door like she owns the place and a whole lot more She whisks by your desk with barely a "hi"
but all that changes when she sees a guy

With a giggle  and a toss of her hair
You'd  think she just saw a billionaire
As she barely grunts a hello to you
"Oooooh there's the gal with the Jimmy Choo"

Her charms and wiles they seem to work
She's the favored child but is such a ****
She's phony and stuck up and gets paid a lot
And does she work? I think not!

Electric thoughts, wavelength blues
Your mind's creations are possible clues
You signaled thoughts right through time
And then I knew you were almost mine
Cold brew jitters keep me awake
I'm wary that my soul you'll take
You'll strip me cold and leave me naked
And rob me of all that's sacred
Mascara runs down my face
I knew I was in the wrong place
My tears you ignored- no, you did not fret because your brain was sopping wet
I tried to message you right back
But all in vain  - it just went black
Your mind I did not understand
But it didn't matter when you took my hand
But now you've gone and disappeared
And left me here with all I feared
Voltage  thoughts all are blocked
And now your twitter I see is locked
I almost fell in love with you
But danger signs around me grew
I wish you currents of  electricity
And all you are and want to be