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Cat Oct 2018
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You follow your own book and it’s thick,
But it bores me,
Because I’ve read it a thousand times
And I don’t care much for the literature
It sickens me.
How you are.
How you read.
How you converse.
How you fight.
******* how you talk..
How you are.
I like how you are.
I love you.
.
Cat Oct 2017
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There's a turn up for deceived fire
Where the beast and false night forever cheer
I heard that basis resides beneath a silver tree hidden in paradise
Create the unforgivable
But forgive
Cat Nov 2017
I'm a shoe in the mud
That's just what I'll be
I shouldn't care anymore
about anyone but myself
#****
Cat Dec 2019
Frustrated and outdated.
My acts are getting old, I’m told.
I’m told to fold my own fowl acts
And turn them into gold.
Golden scrolls that roll up past
And open up to brand new ways.
Days to come, I still may fray,
But carry on I must.
I would trade today for days
Which open up to blooms.
Blooms of new, and fumigating,
nothing but the truth and beaut.
Cat Feb 2016
Sometimes, when I'm in the shower,
Ill recollect on how many lips I've kissed.
Staring at the tiles in front of me,
I'll let the steam and hot water pour over
and into me.
Cat Dec 2015
To be hurt is the biggest ache.
To hurt someone, is to be swallowed by every mistake.
Cat Sep 2017
Calling ahead
Drowning in the Masonite
Floor boards
Spring board
Spring back
There's shallots on the back burner
Rip tides
Dead minds
The coyotes convene at two
Cat Mar 2019
There’s a picture of you that used to be on my mirror.
It always fell off of my mirror about once or twice a month.
You were once my second mother.
Yet, I question if this was a sign of a second chance.
A reminder to not be how you were.
Cat Dec 2015
I'm tripping in reveries of a beauty i haven't tasted
Not a chance
So im left feeling envious crave
The envy of recognizing
I'll never taste you
One look at you is all it took
To turn you into a mania
Im dying to meet your face again
Even if it's just to reveal an unvarnished result
That you could never be my reality
Just so i know
Just so i can see
Cat Feb 2016
Finger nail deep in dirt.
Dig.
Twisting my head too far,
in too many, too soon.
Until I find myself then,
twisting at the waist.
Allowing my knees to crumple.
Clutch them and cower.
Still walking this way.
Further into wet earth.
Connections clicking,
positives and negatives.
Maybe It's because i needed you.
Or,
I need you now.
Who am I,
to act so.
Do i even know you?
Or,
Is it that you need me more?
Cat Mar 2019
Wars rage in my skull
I’m enraged and unfed
Constantly fleeing my debts of death and unsaid
I can’t make bets that they’re right, because they’re always right
They’re all definitely right
They’re shaken with fright
From the blight of my actions
All they ever wanted, Was to offer me gold,
Which percolated from deep within the cracks of their palms that were held wide open
They dressed in all white, while I dressed all black.
My insides are black and my eyes are magenta
You would never believe that my head has it’s own detailed corrigenda
And believe it or not, this whole time, my agenda,
Was only ever to retrieve an achievement of bliss.
Cat May 2018
I can only view violet right now
Violet to me, equals a quiet storm composed of beauty and friction from beneath the floorboards of an empty house
I’m floored, yet, I’m relishing in myself
I’m an indulgent relic of a being so full
I can be null, but I’m impassioned
I’m falling between the seams of a sidewalk some days
The seams of things I attempt to rectify and reconstruct
While falling in between the branches of an evergreen, time moves fast and clusters into a dust storm configured of my own guts and ideas untouched
Life continues to move on without us
There’s no basis to stop
Cat Sep 2017
It's jocular, how one idea, one image, one thought of a partcicular human,
Can overtake one's mind inexplicably
To let it control you, however,
Is a juggled device
Some humans don't know how to step into the dirt of action needed to take control
It is sometimes a skill that needs hastening
It is a skill overall,
That must be mastered
Plastered amongst imbeciles,
Is the idea that awareness of thoughts does not exist
Cat Oct 2017
Excuse my flipancy
Creation gave me a superabundance of work
It carried with it, the noxious whiff of finality,
Running with desire
My role was set forever
Cat Jan 2017
I watched how these two rabbits chased each other in circles.
Each one playing the game.
Running,
then chasing.
Because that's how it goes right?
Cat Nov 2017
I'm feeling again.
****.
I don't like this.
It's all harder to love this time.
I like you a lot,
But,
I can't love you.
I refuse to say any words that begin with the letter L.
I gave up on trying to love a long time ago.
It's as if I made myself numb to it.
I think you're now filling a certain void or something.
Though,
I'm lost when I'm around you.
As warm as your company is;
It scares me.
I wish I couldn't feel anymore
That is;
How much your mind permiates mine.
Love **** I hate you
Cat Aug 2018
You melt in the moonlight
And cower in the sun light
Your eyes are preoccupied with dim light, which occupies nothing, but rooms paraded full of shadows and dank faces.
which dance around the bed of your skull
I’m standing in the sunlight,
Yet I test best in the moonlight
Cat Apr 2018
Exploring the back of the woods never felt so good until you were gone.
Because there was so much more beauty further back where I couldn’t see.
Cat Oct 2017
Her sanity barely stood
Death sometimes visited her in the deepest of the night
Asleep
She spoke about an infinite number of stars
And of motionless places hidden within the clouds
Cat Dec 2015
i watched the sky fall down
i waited for the angels
they never came
instead, i was perverted by demons
and watched them play cards by my side
Cat Dec 2015
You squander through your paths
Your meager thoughts and actions collect
like the **** upon one's teeth
It appears you're falling quicker everyday
You don't want to leave
But, you should be dead by now
Open your eyes
You beast
Taste the world, not your waste
You bathe in your waste
How pitiful it is, to falter beneath nothing in this world,
but the head on your own body.
Cat Jul 2017
Our lines are parallel.
As crooked as they are alone.
Cat Nov 2017
I found myself assaulted by depthless distance that plastered my eyeballs
White flames amongst turbid waters and brilliant threatening serpents surrounded me
One needs a sense of entitlement
This world has revealed seventy three shades of grey in an eight by ten room
We all fail sometimes
Cat Dec 2015
chased out of your body
numb
no quick way out
your stuck in yourself still
no
chase down the dream
yet in fumes of reveries
evade the real world
drown in yourself
no one else
cower from everyone else
pull away
and push them away
you saw it
then sawed it
full from yourself
escape yourself
null
don't breathe
Cat Nov 2017
Your face is so pretty
So, I'll cry for a while
Cat Dec 2015
I still remember that story you wrote.
The one with barren coal mine town.
You shared it with me beneath the summer sky after we watched the stars.
More than that, I remember how you left me,
like that abandoned coal mine town.
I tend to dumb what i know i have hold of.
So part of me always knew
I never really had you.
Cat Dec 2015
Inside the Masonite
The contour lines aren't dark enough
Left behind a stark remark
Start as a lark in the dark
And you're smart for standing there
Behind the mines
But on top of boxes
And piles of boxes
Cigarette buts on the curb, left behind from following the curb line
Down the road
Around the mounds and above the dips
Follow the curb line up
Don't fall into a drain
Because the drains will always lead you somewhere
But they always end
And they're never clean
Doesn't make sense to anyone aside from me really
Cat Dec 2015
Ink stains on my pillow
bleed through to each thread
the longer they sit, the deeper they get
all is done when the cap is left off
deep hues for deep blues
I'm stained in deep blues
Cat Sep 2017
Some days I can't look people in the eyes
And sometimes, I can't force myself to say one word
Though, my mind is yelling everything
Creating lists to no end
I have a lot to say
So I talk to books of bonded paper
And palettes constructed of fatty vibrant medium
There's no medium in my waking life
But, only two ends of the stick
Too many highs
Too many lows
I adress myself more than anyone else
I have open eyes and bitten lips
Cat Aug 2016
Souls respond to suffering
Imagination can eat those souls with fractured ambition
Sweet music speaks to souls
And can bend a souls ear more than anything it knows
Outstripping foolishness can differ arrangements in hell
Leaving the men below to see
Whether or not a soul can butch out old habits
Most souls chew fat
And everything clean too
The truth is most souls
Move through solitary speculation
After that first inkling of selfhood in a state of confusion
Reaches script in development
See you in hell
Cat Nov 2017
Take place in this space
You've been here before
You're tasting more than torn tissue
Forewarning lies
And pies constructed of ties lost
But,
What you mostly taste is
Bastings of waste
And Hastings of what you should've done or could've done
Maybe yesterday or when you threw away your hippocampus two nights ago
So maybe you threw away your whole medial temporal lobe
But, your face is established of smiles
Cat Dec 2015
It's not pitch black outside tonight
I can see everything,
but i can't see the stars
Cat Dec 2015
I smoked too much last night
I figured that's why my lungs ache in deep breaths
I'm smoking right now
Still slightly more than the norm
I can't seem to resist
The cravings persist
The moment is blight
So the act is alright
This poem is a little old
Cat Dec 2015
We laid naked in your bed as the night grew old
the sushi in our stomachs worn down by now
we talked a little
it seemed like a solution to fill the voids brought from silence
you didn't kiss me enough
i sat up to look at you and let moonlight dance across my chest
you laid in the shadow of the moon
and told me i was beautiful
i took my eyes off of your figure to let them glide over my pale curves and wild curls
a fleeting moment i took to grace myself
i glanced out your window
it stopped snowing mostly and i felt low
somehow, the static appearance of outside spoke louder than your room
you asked me distinct things
which i now know
were the answers to your very last test
one week later, this mess was at rest
the snow accumulated heavily the following days
just like it had that very night
only before we laid among your sheets
and like the words in my mind,
there was more
and i was torn
Cat Sep 2020
Put me down to desiccate.
My mind
My body
My inveterate vision.
Fragmentary, ornamental,
desirous smiles
adorn my face
And separate once I swallow them,
where then,
they play inside my head
and disperse to deluge into fumes of
blues and violent reds
where condors convene and condone the nature of my agony,
which they burn straight on through
then train new thoughts to thirst for more.
Stuck with a mind so full of
contortionist thoughts,
containing the notions of submerging illusions, luring me away from veracity,
into anticipating rapture.

— The End —