my head aches
and my heart breaks
over a love that never
existed and a touch
that will never be known

        l.r.

Mother, in your hazel eyes I can see the rainbow
the trees flowering
the grass getting greener
rising to the bluest sky.
Mother, in your smile I see sadness
and your forehead is full of wrinkles,
in the space between your eyes I can see the worry,
Mother, your heart is a firefly in my night
when I close my eyes you guide me,
your hand so warm, I need it to hold mine
when it's cold in my mind.
Mother, you're so far
and I can't tell you that I'm hurting
I'm dying inside and I can't show you

Mother, you're so wise, please, tell me
why is it autumn again
if it's only May?

I see tulips so beautifully painting the sight
and yet in my heart
the last leaf has fallen.

Mother, oh Mother, tell me
when I will fall to the ground
will they step on me
or will they pick me up
and keep me between the pages of their hearts?

Mother, I'm just a leaf
and you don't know
that my autumn has come
to bury me again.
I am falling,
the dirt is covering me whole,
your hand is so far
I'm reaching but there's only the wind
tearing me apart.


*Mother, it's autumn again
and you can't see me falling.

watch the sunset setting on fire
the concrete buildings you can see at the horizon,
feel the sand cooling in your palms
as the sun is one more time going down.
watch the stars while they slowly show
their bright faces between the clouds.

upon the sea
the moon again kisses the skies
before they go to sleep
and I'm not there,
I'm not there
to see it with you.

breath in the salty evening
hear the voices of the waves
singing unheard lyrics;

build a fire
gather some souls
a guitar sound,
you have it all.

wait for the sunrise to paint the clouds
dance with a stranger
while the Bolero with its crescendo
touches your mind
see the Black sea turning into Red
see the shy sunrays braided with the waves,
kiss the air while it is still fresh,
feel the sand as it gets warmer in your hands.
watch this life waking up again,
and if you have any free time
send me a picture of your perfect land.
or, better yet, send me a picture of your smile
after all, that's the image I most long to have
when the night breaks in
and I have only darkness between my clouds.

*upon the sea
the moon again kisses the skies
before she goes to sleep
and I'm not there,
I'm not there
to see it with you

i am but a corpse
of what I used to be
and they all call out
ms. ****** won't you
come to me

l.r.

It was wind and wild - sunset on the California coast
we watched the birds seemingly fly backwards
seagulls and brown pelicans
the wind bit my cheeks quite red
barefoot, we sank in the cooling sands
watching the final flash of glassy sun
firewater reflecting on the darkened lands
the sky swallowed the sailing light away
with the half moon askew above the bay.

When I don't see you, here or in the places we've been
in prairie meadows or in these trailing hills
I am lonesome, listening to how the ocean spills
blue waves play a sorrowful song
I get lost in thought, ruminate long on our walks
my feet here in these tiny flowers, the ones that we picked
I think of all the gardens, yesterday, today and tomorrow
my eyes fly far off with birds, disappearing
into some heavenly place, where you are.

open the door to my heart
and mend the creaky hinges
for i am tired of leaving it closed
and having my soul off limits

l.r.

imagine
for a second
if you will,

that the light inside hadn't gone out

l.r.

i am always wary
of confrontation,
i find yelling frightening.

they're always like
"what scares you so?"

with thunder comes the lightning

l.r.