when you care too much it breaks you, shatters you into a billion tiny pieces like glass, you hit the floor too hard too fast and you explode, the world, millions of sparkling fragments come crashing down around you, slicing you to ribbons because thats what glass does, it cuts, and if you thought that just because you cared you were bullet proof you thought wrong, glass is never bullet proof, not even the kind that comes with a label and says it is, its a lie, its always a lie because when you care too much, try too hard, try so hard it hurts, you fall too hard, too fast, its too much and you shatter like previously bullet proof glass, you are out of the game and done playing the game because it doesn’t matter anymore, nothing matters anymore, its all one loop over and over and over, live die, repeat, live, die, repeat and oh if only you could reach the end, what satisfaction you would glean, what dreams might you escape, what people you might outrun, glass is exactly like humans, it reflects exactly who we are eventually no matter how much you warp it, no matter how much you bend its surface it reflects the true self back and then when you suddenly decide to show that side, boom, there I go, falling too fast too hard too much not slowing never slowing too much too fast too hard too caring too trying too much too fast too hard falling is like dying except slower, much much slower, and when I land, don’t worry you’ll be the first to know

Let our words rain

To fall soft as confetti

From clear blue sky

To survive the weathering of time.

Let our words plant seeds

Within minds of those fertile

To crystallize into deeds.

Let us show how Poe was wrong

To ask

If all we have been or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

Let us show how

With words...

We can reign supreme.

In every battle, it is impossible to never have a speech. I have noticed that in watching movies. Like in Independence day, the President delivered a speech to the U.S Fighter Pilots before the battle. “ Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world.”, yeah that’s how it goes. Or like King Aragorn’s battle speech at the black gate in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, “Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers”, he said. And it can even be a simple “May the force be with us” before battling with the galactic empire. And you cannot only see that in movies, there are speeches in real life which also inspired people to fight, like Patrick Henry’s Give me Liberty or Give me death, Winston Churchill’s We Shall Never Surrender, and our battles in our lives. Everyone will always encounter battles in their lives, and maybe we also had speeches for ourselves, created by us, for us, to continue fighting. And they say having a mental illness also means undergoing a battle. Many battles, and one of them, is a battle against the stigma. A battle to end the stigma of mental health. And now I will deliver my speech, to everyone of you, this is my battle speech, telling you to stop romanticizing them.


Poems **** once said that depression is a strange, yet comforting feeling. Comforting feeling, when you feel absolutely terrible, that even eating ice cream and watching your favourite movie can’t do anything to make you feel better. And when they ask you what’s wrong, the worse part is you don’t know. When you’re all alone, and no one is there for you, so you just feel like your inner demons are hugging you and telling you to just end everything. It’s when people tell you that happiness is a choice, it’s like a multiple choice exam, in which you just choose the best answer, but why does it seem to me that the choices I got were nothing compared to the best, and where is happiness? It’s none of the above. There is nothing comforting, nothing artistic, nothing beautiful about depression. It is not an artsy tumblr poem, it’s not an aesthetic, it’s not something you wish you could have,  depression is a total *******!


A twitter account said that anxiety is just another form of excitement. So does it mean that when I have panic attacks, I am just excited? When I avoid everyday situations, when I can’t get out of my house, when I can’t even get out of my bed, because all of those things cause me anxiety. When I expect the worst in everything that I do and it will ruin the hell out of me. When I’m in a job interview, and I suddenly have my panic attack. When I feel that in every place I will go to, I will experience danger and catastrophe. So you see, that anxiety is not another form of excitement, it is not a trend, it’s a difficult thing to have, it's experiencing chaos everyday in your life and who would want that?


Why do we think that having mental illnesses are wonderful? Why do we wish to have them when there are people suffering? Why are we belittling them, telling them they’re crazy, that it’s all in your mind, but can’t you see, that having chaos inside my mind is the most difficult thing you could ever have. Why do we think they’re weak, when they are fighting battles everyday and they never give up. Why do we think that people with mental illness are just asking for attention when they are asking for help because that’s the thing they need? Imagine that the demons inside of you gave you a gift that you didn’t want, and you can’t seem to destroy it, to leave it, because you think your demons have won. But they didn’t, and they will never. And we are fighting with you, we are with you.


In every battle, there will always be the ones who win. The ones who will achieve the greatest feat, happiness and contentment. But they say, that this battle against the stigma, is a never ending war. However, have you all forgotten who we are? If this is a never ending war, then we are the  fighters.  And we will never ever stop fighting.


*(k.b)

I wish you wouldn't look for me in my poems
Contrary to popular belief,
I wish you would look for yourself in them