svdgrl

svdgrl Nov 2014

The countless nights of being taken ever so uncomfortably,
fogging up the windows drawing cheesy arrows
stuck through hearts with our initials
in the condensation of our ****** tension.
Unfulfilling menaje tois cuts right through any arrowed hearts.
Sat dripping blood and juice,
"Don't get it on the fabrics...I'll come back with a towel."
You said.
I sat there
in too deep.
Staring at the bag of thrift shop,
sports flags,
my blood dripping from my fingers
to my thighs,
in your backseat.

#memories #bad #backseat

svdgrl Nov 2014

Re-bound

I didn't know a broken heart,
until the day I realized I could never make you as happy
as she once did.
And in that very moment,
every second where I made you look away,
crushed every second where I held your gaze.
My childish attempts to make you love me,
need me,
at least want me,
seemed to only push you further.
I wonder
how much it took for her?
How many times you wound yourself around her wrist
was it even a better kiss?
There goes my growing confidence,
along with the bracelets you've left on the floor
gifts gone amiss.
I don't know if I am enough.
Fear is all I feel through this love.

#love #past #girlfriend #confidence #second #rebound #exes #selfesteemissues

svdgrl Nov 2014

Values

The little boy left his soccer ball on the field,
perhaps to be kicked around later,
only to find it missing.
And it was a gift from dad.
So dad bought him a new one,
and the little boy decided to keep it in the trunk,
and never play with it.
And he just picked up another hobby.
Years later, he found his soccer ball-
deflated.
So he went out and bought a new one.

#love #consumerism #presents #replacements

Nov 2014

Carsyn Smith

Blind Man

Great blind men see all,
But you are no gifted prophet,
Your claims are hollowed out
Your visions are tenebrous and ignorant --
Stop acting like you know me,
Stealing days, months, years
Does not mean I am yours;
My wings are clipped, but I still fly
My voice is silent, but I still sing.
You avoid my eyes, yet
You do not own your wrongs,
These bruises that go unnoticed,
These scars that are invisible.
Stop ignoring me! I’m still here.
I’m still trying to heal what is hurt,
Bind wounds opened by your hands.
Blind man, with eyes that do not see me,
Thinks he has ascendancy over me.
Blind man, oh my dear Blind man,
I hope you fall in your chosen darkness.

I can't believe I gave you so much of who I am....

#love #heartbreak #life #hate #hurt #revenge

Nov 2014

crystallaiz

(10w piece)

I'm sorry for being me
when you needed someone else.

To many people, and to myself.

#you #me #sorry

svdgrl Nov 2014

You are my love, regardless

When was our first kiss?
I wondered what you tasted like.
To this day I am dismissed-
though scandalous was our first night,
for me, it was still real bliss.
Not because you weren't him-
but you were you,
and not because it was a sin,
but you were you,
as much as now, and as much as then.

I'm tired of the guilt mongering, the studies, the insecurities, the *******...I know what I feel. I'm reclaiming my selfhood and my confidence with every old poem I dig up but am too afraid to post.

#love #misunderstood #secret

svdgrl Nov 2014

She says she is my friend

I refuse to relate her to the sunrise and the sunset-
as there are already far too many things that remind me,
but I'll have you all know-
I think of her every single day.
This morning I bit my tongue in fear that maybe...
I am in love.
I thought that
there could be no other explanation
for why someone who isn't even present in my life
consistently
rips herself into my mind.
But that is only I shining light on her once again.
Like I've done so since we became friends.
No. I am not in love.
I am
I was betrayed.
And I have not
can not
forgive.
My trust began to vanish
when the hot air of her whispers
tickled my ears
and fear swished inside of them.
Her pleas for friendship
were seasoned with 1-up mushrooms,
and she always saw the bigger firework,
dreamt the more vivid dream,
had the better taste,
in self-righteous scream.
Love?
I politely decline your offer, miss.
I don't care to love you, miss.
For the last time
Goodnight.

I dug this one up from my drafts. I'm so happy I don't have these feelings of bitterness so readily available anymore. I'm not sure if I've forgiven but I'm posting this because I can and not feel condemned to these emotions. Thank you for reading.

#love #lies #betrayal #friendship #cheat #falsehood #frenemies