Don't fall in love with your friends.

Don't catch eyes with them across a party.
Don't notice how bright their smile shines.
Don't listen to the deafening beautiful sound of their laughter.

When you're drunk and alone, don't say,
"Can I lay my head on your lap?"
Don't notice the gentle way they touch your hair.
Don't admire the way they moved to the floor after you fell asleep.

Don't let the warm embrace go to your head.
When they kiss you,
Don't obsess over the perfection of their lips.
You need to know, he will never kiss you that way again.

When you cry together,
Don't believe it's understanding.
Just know you both are weak.

When you meet again,
Don't let your heart flutter.
Don't stare at them like they are the most beautiful thing in the world.
Don't.

Don't fall in love with your friends.
You need to know you'll never be anything more than that.

Hell is
being with you in my
sleep
But waking up
all alone
With windows open
and wine bottles shattered
on the floor
Hell is
standing in the shadows watching
you adore another woman
Kissing her and holding her
Hell is
being all alone without the soul I adored

                          S.M.R.

(i) I get to see you almost everyday. And as much as I hate seeing you, I know deep down that I keep searching for you in a room full of people.

(ii) your memory lingers: with every place that we had been, with every food I knew you love, with every word I used to hear you say, with every wink that made me blush.

(iii) each night as I lay in bed forcing myself to sleep, I try not to think of you.. but it can't be helped. and even in my dreams, you keep showing up.

(iv) I love how I can smell your scent when you walk from my behind and cover up my eyes. I don't say a word. silently, I'm hoping you'd still do it.

(v) I've been doing all sorts of stuff just to distract myself. but each time I do, the only thing on my mind is how I want to tell you all about those stuff.

(vi) the photos, the messages, your contact number, I just can't force myself to delete it. instead, I reread the messages and look at your pictures whenever I miss you.

(vii) I remember how you held my hand, looked into my eyes and asked if I was okay. you made everything feel better that night. I'm not fine now.

(viii) you keep communicating indirectly. and like a living plant you keep watering the feelings I have for you. you never allow it to die. and I never show it but I badly want to respond.

(ix) I tried to forget about you. I tried to forget the memories. I tried to forget the feelings. I tried to forget that I want you.. I tried to forget about you. I forgot to forget about you.

(x) I bound myself to write poems about you and I keep promising to have my last entry with you in it. but promises keep getting broken and here I am, once again, composing.