Should I let the current pull me away from land?

Breakups are like being uprooted from your home,
Pulled away from the familiar
Things you're comfortable with and things you've known
Finding yourself in the weirdest situations
Not quite comfortable in your skin

I've lost the boy who sang to me
I've lost what I thought was meant to be
I can no longer look at this place without remembering the times we had
A sin I indulge in when I'm feeling sad
I'm lost and I'm not sure if I can be found
I hope he sees this but I hope he's bound
I can't make up my mind
The words choke me up
I drown

This is not a poem
This is not a song
I can't think of either
Without my smile going down

This is not a sonnet
This is not a love song
Those were what we exchanged
But you've buried me down
Locked me up
Tied me down
I hope you're happy
I hope you won't frown
I hope you know I love you
I think you should know
Even now.

I hope you see this
But then I hope you don't
I hope you've found someone
But I hope you don't

This is not a poem
This cannot be my song
I cannot claim to keep
What was so fleeting
So transient I tripped

a sharp sense of unease
growing inside me
anguish!
an icy grip
is rising up from my guts
I perceive a liquid flowing
relentless in my tissues
is crushing  my lungs
compressing  my heart
the space available to me
suddenly
become narrow
the horror
arrives in my throat
taking my breath
my dry mouth
bites of a thousand pins
irritate my skin
I have to run
I must run away…
I need some air
a scream invades my mind
I don’t know why
I still don’t know why
but I feel it!
I hear you!
you call my name  
you say you love me
I feel helpless
life that lets you down
an icy mantle
covers me
I slumped to the ground
while
a distant voice
calls me
but I know
I know it all
I love you too
I whisper to the shade
slipping away

My heart aches,
And I love it.
My mind turns,
and it tosses.
My eyes yearn,
to see your smile...
though I'm hurting,
I know it's just for a while.

Here I am thrown across the room
my feelings are in a disarray
what is right
what is wrong

You make me question
where I belong
You insist upon
never letting me know

telling the truth in wicked ways
monstrous desire to let you go
but your grip is tight
and so is your glare

Of all poisons
I like yours the best
drawing me in
and throwing me out
Withdrawals on high
love is low

I am addicted to you
and it's dangerous

That's something we both know