Utterly petrified,
toes dangling precipitously over the bluff.
Transfixed on the swirling pain below mighty in its ancient tide.
Entranced by the dazzling facets twinkling from my diamond in the rough.
But I can still feel the salt trails from the last time I cried.
I can feel them linger tender on my breast.
And I look at you with with such cosmic wonder, truly starry eyed.
I want to be your home not the ever present guest.

How I wish I could trust you.
Give myself to you with strength and poise.
I wish I could find a loving pattern in the things you do.
Desperately I try and find my level voice clandestine in the noise.
Hiding the fear in spaces you have yet to see through.

I yearn for you with something deeper even than lust.
I wish you could see the beautiful despair you instill.
Every inch of me begs to keep you here  between every ******.
Then your departure wakes me from my transcendent stupor, sharp and shrill.
Maybe one day you will walk my inner sanctum, with enough time and a little more trust.

Think, when do I not think
thoughts spiralling in my head about ideas
Ideas that can be poisonous, heartwarming.
Sometimes even bitter blue
There is no center ...

I'm not just thinking, I'm over thinking
When my brain is crammed.
To full for my mind
It's when I feel the storm inside of me
A storm caused by waves crashing and winds screeching so loud my head hurts.

Maybe I don't want it to stop
Maybe it's what keeps me going.
Keeps me creative and interesting
A drive for adventure and sips of adrenaline

Your mind can feel like a thousand people screaming your name in every direction
Thoughts can be dangerous when they aren't dismissed
The thoughts of yesterday, today and tomorrow can be soothing in a way
Recollecting memories can put a smile on your lips without you noticing
How can one feel so much and simply lay there thinking.

I wake in the night an alarm going off
My mind is a cat's cradle of paranoia, fear, pain
Pulled taut in intricate patterns
But i remain, still as marble, in my bed

Something within me screams
"Collect your possessions!
The danger is coming."
So I grab my passport, slip it in my pocket
My license goes in the other
Then I press the picture of my mother to my heart
Whisper goodbye

And my heart is racing, the tension in my mind pulling tighter and tighter
My hands shake as I tie my shoe
My hands reach for the door

Its too late
I succumb to the darkness

Misleading Face
The very thought in the forefront of my mind, the heaviness within my heart. Never could I have prepared myself for the day that we would part. 
You are my first and last thought, when I'm awake, and when I sleep- all the seconds between have swallowed me whole, as all I can do is weep. 
When I am again alone, I discard this misleading, happy face....and freely, I'll shed my tears, mourning your displace. 
I must prove myself strong or at least pretend to show it but only while filling this earthly existence and I'll see you before you know it...

Roll it off your tongue.
Watch it leave your mouth.
No this word must be whispered.

Said with uncertain doubt.
In society today,
America tends to sway.

Far far away,
Away from this whispered word.
Away from the sad facts.

Unfortunately this word is more than that.
The word **** is no secret.
Almost 1.3 million each year.
Your sister, your brother, your uncle, even your mother.
A sensitive word I know...

Yet they keep it out of schools.
When my teacher said the r word I though she meant *******.
A word more commonly thrown around than a word that should be spoken about.

My voice was shut down.
Don't use the r word in schools.
It's not a school appropriate subject.
Just shut your mouth and forget.
Victims everywhere.
Men and women. Adults and children.
All potential victims of ****** abuse.

You want the word **** kicked out of schools?
Look how it's all around you.
A poetry teacher unable to let me express.
A word that may hit hard to all the rest.

A simple statement about **** in relationships.
The R word shouldn't need an explanation.
The R word is all around us.

Still such a subject that it is to be kept hidden.
Shut your mouth don't speak out.
The word **** is such a thing never to be said.

Only until your the one it's happening to instead.
Speaking out is scary.
Probably even harder because in school nobody tells you it's okay to talk about.
Instead it something you just not say.

Girls and boys please listen to me.
You use your voice and you speak.
You practice your first amendment right.
Don't stay hidden,
Don't give up the fight.

If someone hurts you in such a way.
I know that it's scary,
And thanks to society today,
You may be very afraid.
Afraid to speak out
Afraid to raise attention.

Afraid.
Afraid shouldn't be a word associated with speaking out against ****.
Stop closing doors.
Stop making this subject scary.
Encourage people to be open.
Everyone has a voice.
It just needs to be spoken.