i feel like potential is dripping out of the tips of my fingers
golden ochre spilling across every surface
staining everything it touches
marks and scar of waste to show that all i do is fail
use it use it use it
make use of this potential before it leaves you, my mind screams
use it use it use it
so i do i do i do
and slowly ochre turns to a shimmering bronze
i can't pay it any mind

i am not easy to love

i whisper it into the breath i blow across the cup filled with steaming tea

i am not easy to love

i trace the words into the stone at my finger tips as i gaze at the water rushing over the edge of the cliff

i am not easy to love

my mind chants as i open my palm to catch the fallen dice

all this time later, a decade and a half, it was time to write the truth in stone for us both

“i am not easy to love”

what is time?

is it the hours my eyes are open
is it the breaths i take between your words

is it the months before we speak again?
does it matter when i still fall in your arms

there's only one true love in everyone's life
its what they've always said
it consumes you, eats you up from the inside out
steals your breath and your heartbeats
and almost assuredly they'll love you too
feel all the same things in all the same ways

but im not sure i believe them
because i've loved a million times in a million different ways

some loves are quiet and unspoken
grown from the warmth that thrums in my veins when they smile and thank me for the coffee I brought them

others are the pillars of my soul
made of a consuming sensation of peace when i rest my head on their shoulder

and the rarest of loves makes my heart sing
songs in languages that I could never learn
touches that are followed with three small words

I live to love
in all of its ways

you live there now
taken up real estate
built a home there
welcome

run from me darling
run while you can
i'll be here
till the end
oh
find me
find me in your heartbeat
so run
run from me darling
but you know
that im close
run
run from me
i'll be close
don't you know