here and now
i swear to myself
i'll love someone better

next time

dance with me
under the stars in pale moonlight
skirts catching in our legs
our smiles only a breath part
dance with me
one last time

When my grandfather passed I found a butterfly
Yellow and small hovering around my shoulders, lightly kissing my cheeks with every flutter
I walked five feet, then ten. Bidding farewell to my new friend.
And yet, the friend followed me no matter how far I strayed
And so I returned home to my mother, the yellow butterfly following behind
Then her eyes widened with shock, and, a touch of happiness
Her smile turned bittersweet as she pulled me into her arms
'Look dear,' she said, pointing at my new friend.
'There's your grandfather, he's come to visit.' She reached out with her fingers and the butterfly settled on them.
'How could that be grandpapa, Mama?' I asked, curious as ever.
'When a loved one passes, their spirit visit us in the form of butterflies.'

Twenty years since. butterflies have followed my every step.
I've begun to wonder if they announce the passing of a loved one or prepare me for my own

I can't stop wondering what could've been
If I was braver, if you were shyer
Something in my soul tells me that we fit like puzzle pieces
I feel it in the way we speak with glances
The way your body shifts and moves closer when I'm near
The way the colour blue reminds me of your eyes and warms my heart
There's something about the way you say my name soft but sure
Like you're tasting every letter
I don't know if we still have time.

im afraid to dream
because all i see
are all the ways
you'll never say i love you

we speak with our eyes
a flash of brown locking together
saying far more than words ever could

we haven't spoken in a while