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Taya Aug 2015
Being chosen second
or maybe third
is a hurtful thing
even if it was only a fling

I was never someone's
first priority
I was only one girl
of a majority
I was never the one with
someone looking out for me
I was never the one
dreamt of in their sleep

I wanted to be looked at
like I was the best thing
the world could offer

I just wanted to be wanted
I was desperate for love
  Aug 2015 Taya
ern kingham
I remember the first time someone explained to me what the word gay meant.
We were in middle school
Playing on the swing set behind Stoy Elementary
"He’s so gay," she said
Bitter disgust poured out of her mouth with every syllable
I could not think as to why being happy could be such a horrible thing
And so I asked
My exact words being
“Whats so wrong with being happy?”
Now both my friends looked at me weird
“Don’t you know what gay means?”
“Doesn’t it mean to be happy?”
“You’re such a little kid, gay does not mean happy. Gay is a boy who likes another boy”
I stood there wondering why it mattered so much that a boy liked another boy;
why it was such a distasteful thing.
And why it meant gay couldn’t still mean happy.
Taya Aug 2015
Judging eyes
look upon me
they know nothing
of my story
yet they judge what they see

Judging eyes
stare at me
criticizing my looks
my choices
my passion
my right to being free

Judging eyes
are a curse to me
they think they know me
I disagree
  Aug 2015 Taya
misplacedpens
my journal was dedicated to you
a proclamation of
how i adored your smile
how your touch set me on fire
how every minute spent together left me craving
more and more and more of you
rushed scribbles
describing how your eyes searched my soul
and left me wanting nothing more than a look at yours
filled every empty space
my ink bled your praises
line upon line quote the love you claimed
pages were filled with promises you made in a drunken state
my journal was a tribute to you
a celebration of you
a monument
to you
and yours didn't even mention my name
  Aug 2015 Taya
Avery Langcaster
I'm better off without you
I'm really starting to see
Now that time has past
I've dried my tear soaked sleeves

I thought you were my angel
What a cunning disguise
Turns out you were my demon
Crippling my mind

So thanks for the memories
But I'm finally moving on
It seems that to catch my breath
I needed you gone
Taya Aug 2015
Him
His eyes,
blue
the color of the sea
he makes me want things
I know can never be

his hair,
blond
like molten gold
he makes me shiver
like I have a cold

His skin,
pale
like hail
falling from the sky
the way he smiles
makes me feel like I can fly

He is everything I want,
everything I desire
he can me feel warm
like I'm on fire

But he is unattainable,
hiding behind a shield
scared of the love
that I wield
Taya Aug 2015
Memories are delicate
I don't remember most
they pass like a blur
the ones staying
the ones that mattered most

Memories are sad
they make me cry
the sad ones chill me
strike me to the bone
but they are the ones
that remind me of home

Memories are happy
they make me smile
the happy ones make me warm
they make my heart beat fast
but the happy ones,
they never last

Memories help me*
they remind me that I have lived
they make me feel like I'm flying
but some make me feel like I'm dying
more memories will come
these new memories
will make my heart thump
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