Alright guys here it is.
No more rhymes to hide behind.
I've got a lot to say and not a lot of time.
So let's get into it.

I'm the kid in the corner.
I'm the one with my head down.
I'm the one who sits alone.
I'm the one who kinda likes it.
I may act out in the spotlight,
Crack a joke and get a laugh.
But in the end I'm still the one alone.
It's how it is.

For a long time I told myself I didn't care.
That the opinions of others didn't matter.
It never worked like I wanted.
But I soon figured it out.
The best defenses are assumed.
Not hidden, and not proclaimed.
These are the defenses that last.
Because they are simply a part of it all.

I had learned that the best way to hide my fear,
The way to hide my doubt
Was to act like it was nothing
And to simply move on with myself.
The scary thing is, that worked.
I doubt many know this.
But I'm crippled by insecurity
A poison I can't defeat.

I care what you think, I care when you notice
It's sad, but overwhelmingly true.
The anxiety I feel a lot of the time
Comes from the depths of who I am.
So go ahead, say that thing.
Tell me I dress stupid, or look dumb.
I'll retort back sharply and walk away,
But that sting will last.

My memory is too good.
Sometimes it feels like a curse honestly.
Because I remember each thing said,
Both good and bad.
So for those who took the time
To step aside and say hello,
Thank you for being there for me,
Cause I guarantee I needed it.

So to everyone reading this
Who never knew this before,
I'm too emotional for my own good,
And I hide behind that well-known pride.
Did I strike you as cocky?
I wanted to.
Did I strike you as prideful?
I needed to.

How else would I hide from myself?

I think I'm done with this poem now.
I hope you all understand.
It's not anything someone did wrong.
No, it's just me.
So enjoy picking my brain,
Getting a peek at the small introvert inside.
He's a sorry soul indeed,
I feel bad for him honestly

He's trapped in his confessional.
The walls keep closing in.
He talks to the walls, for hours and hours,
His head begins to spin.
He opens cans of worms and beans,
And tends to spill the latter,
Though no matter how long or hard he tries,
His confessions makes him sadder.

So pity the poor man you see
Have mercy on him won't you please?
It's up to you my closest friends.
He's on his very knees.
Listen to his confessions.
Listen closely, lest he fail
All he says is steeped in pain
His words could tip the scale.

My confession is over now
My time in here is done.
To all you listening in,
This really has been fun.
I'll walk away with my head held high
My heart, not so much.
I care too much what you think of me
My defenses, my very crutch.

Don't forget. Never forget.
He loves to love quite deeply.
So if you need an introverted, sad, emotional, hopeful, or quiet friend?
Come and see me.

The touch of the sunlight,
the warmth of the water
dancing around our ankles,
smell the salt in the air,
fresh and clean and pure.
Little tastes of happiness.
But it's never enough for you.

You think that happiness is a state,
like liquid or gas, something you stay in.
But happiness is in the fleeting moments,
the laughter of friends,
hot chocolate, sweet and smooth
with little marshmallows.

Dancing in the rain,
wearing your favorite shirt,
a walk through the woods,
a hug just a little longer than usual,
the warmth of someone else's arms.
These fleeing moments are
where you find happiness.

A jump start.
Or was it heads first?
Either way I found myself talking to flowers!

Yeah, how high?!
I, couldn't look away!
A past life recurrence in just a matter of hours.

Empty buildings.
Full insights.
In the glow of the moon.
Not seeing the end was a shape of a spoon.

I can't remember that walk home.
Was it cold?
Was I tired?
Pure chance we even met, my life was inspired!
The soul is deep and the mind ever deeper.
Free spirits we are, but always a 'keeper'.
Like A true treasure kept or the powers of a hero.
I'll think of you always ....
you're my one.
My zero.

I was always told to be myself.
Was told that people would love me,
For who I was
Not who I thought I should be

So tell me
Why isn't me good enough?
Not capable of pleasing people
Living up to their expectations.

When people tell me to be myself
That from birth I was special
I was different
I was an individual

How can I be myself
When people dont like me..?
He's so feminine, hes gay
He's so skinny, hes anorexic
He's so tall, hes a giant
He's so soft, hes a little *****
He's so kind, hes just a tool
He's so outspoken, hes an opinionated ****
He cant do anything for himself, hes such a child

Why is nothing I ever do good enough for people,
My work is returned to me once again for not being up to standard
That my own personal expression on a page, my own images inside my head written into text are not up to standard or worthy of someone else.

Can I ever be worthy enough?

How can I like me..
When others can't seem to...?

time is what I'm waiting for
the right time.
i have never been more anxious in my life
and here i am waiting for the moment i will, you know.
i have to be careful or the moment will pass
seize your moments....

I don't know why I try,
it just makes me feel empty
and uses my energy

yeah, I wish you were here but I know it would **** me

in a perfect word you would be mine,
in a perfect world, you wouldn't exist