The never ending fall, long drop from the top makes me feel 3 feet small. It will be okay it's for the best, fake smile try to do your best. But what if my best isn't good enough, what if my best doesn't even add up. Failure is a hard pill to swallow, iron taste double shot of self hate. it's your choice to self hate get down on yourself and wallow, or pick yourself up, dust yourself off Self love will follow.

if i were to turn and say
hey dude i ******* hate you, kay?
(well no, of course it isn't true-)
but what d'you reckon you would do?
i'm only wondering because
you act like it'd be no loss
and insecurely, i don't know-
because you sometimes seem as though
either you think i'll never leave
or just don't care what i believe?
i'd like to say i have a line
but no, i'll just sit here and whine
while you sit there, knowing quite well
that i would never ever tell
you that i'm giving up, you see
i think that this means more to me
than you, perhaps, and **** that stings
especially recently, when things
have led your life away from mine
i know it's not your fault; it's fine-
except it's not, because i never
thought that i would have to weather
all my ugly parts alone,
you used to be just down the phone.
i never used to hide from you
and now it seems you want me to-
but i've spent years with my gun down
it's hard to pick it off the ground.

*-maybe i'll close my eyes instead
and un-remember what you said.

Think positive

                   Have you learned nothing about      
                   me?

Have you learned nothing of me?

                      -.-

Fire with fire... Questions with questions

                     Smoke with ashes, I'll smother
                       you -.-

After nine lashes, you've nothing better to do?

                      Before your funeral, you've got
                      nothing better to say?

Inhibitions compensated, though so futile. Bury yourself beneath your yesterdays.

                      Trial and error, yet so naive.
                       Through your mistakes and
                       heartaches, you still
                       overcompensate.

Smiling through tears, and tearing through smiles? What do you fear--everything prior, or just one more trial?

                       Been crying through the pain
                        for far too long. I fear...
                       Simply everything, to avoid
                      the hurt, why is that so wrong?

Not wrong, but you hold doubt where hope belongs. Don't wallow in the dirt, or hold on to this morning's dawn.

                       But where I should see hope,
                       there's only despair. I'm not
                       wallowing, simply realistic. It's
                       really not fair, to assume I'm
                       being over dramatic.

Learn to cope when people are unfair. Try hallowing what you know's simplistic. There's much in the air, besides the cruelness of fanatics.

                          But the evil is overwhelming,
                           it truly surrounds me, in my
                          mind and my heart.
                          Sometimes, I can't help but
                         fall apart...

When the Devil is swelling, his doings unruly, and it all mounts on you, know there is kindness. Just part with the bad times and take the goodness to heart.

Once we were laying in a field
in the early hours of the morning
with dummies in our beds
without screens in our windows
I think he was crying or maybe I was
I asked him what sadness felt like
he whispered

"hollow, hollow, hollow."