"I'm sick of pretending that you're not killing me. That I don't feel the ghost of your lips lingering on my skin. I'm sick of wearing you like a cologne and trying to cover you up with my coffee and my cigarette breaks. And I'm tired of pretending like I don't see you on the streets. Always calling out to me, telling me you are home. Telling me you are safety and comfort and a bed not made of ice.
I'm sick of not being able to sleep anymore. Pretending that I'm not scared to close my eyes because I might not open them again. That I might not want to."
-Nathaniel MarkHim (-V)
/If sadness was a person, what would you say?

"Do you ever get tired of it? That roller coaster love of yours I mean. Do you pray that maybe, just maybe it would end? Does it keep you up till 2AM thinking about the broken dreams and broken beds on a Tuesday afternoon? Maybe you love it. That roller coaster love of yours I mean. Maybe you love the bite marks on your neck and fists on her jaw and the cigarette burns she gave around your neck. Maybe it’s chained you to her. And maybe you don’t want to go because you’ve forgotten how it felt without this. That roller coaster love of yours I mean."
-V

You see the blood dripping
from her hands.
You watch in silence
as she traces her nails along
the sides of his neck.

She looks at you and you see
a smile on her face.
He is crying now, begging her to stop.

His hands are bloodied and tied,
purple bruises on his wrists.
His face, forever disfigured
by the jagged little knife
she clutches so softly.

She is a killer and you know it.
She is a killer who likes to play
with her food.

She looks at you with a smile on her face.
She looks at you and you're staring
at your own reflection.
-Nathaniel MarkHim (-V)

There are wars that still go on
Battles not yet over.
And though you may not see,
Everyday gets colder

Fighting all these demons
I buried deep inside
Yearning to escape me,
Forcing me to hide

No one really knows
The thoughts that fill my head
Because I choose not to show them,
I put a fake smile on instead.

My friends all think they know me
But none of them  really do
So I turn to pen and paper
In hopes it will get me through

I'm weary and I'm tired
From all the fighting done.
When all I want to do is just
Stop, get up and run.

But still my war goes on
My battle is not yet over.
And you probably may not see it
My everyday gets colder

-V

Pretty girl starts the year not knowing what to do
Pretty she may be,
Yet she doesn't have a clue
Pretty girl, though shy she feels okay,
With a smile, she makes it through her first day.

Months go by, time doesn't stop,
She finds her way to the top.
No longer shy, loved by all
Such a shame to see her fall.

It starts on a day like any other
This time pretty girl disobeys her mother.
She lies to her, sneaks out at night,
And finds herself neath pale moonlight.

She meets new faces she hasn't seen before,
New they may be yet they influence her.
Taking their word that everything is alright,
She doesn't scream, doesn't cry, she doesn't even fight.

She takes everything they give her
With a smile on her face
Now pretty girl doesn't see the mistakes that she makes.

No longer perfect, she is undone
Bags under eyes, yet she still has her fun.
Her parents notice, her friends do too,
She tells them "leave me alone, its nothing to you!"

She runs away from school and from home,
She is feeling scared, pretty girl is alone.
Walking the streets every night and day,
Selling her love thinking everything's okay.


Tears in her eyes, a man by her side,
Beer in hand,
Packets of ******* she tries to hide.

This wasn't what she wanted from life,
Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out the knife.
She's had enough, she slits her wrists and falls to the floor,
Closing her eyes with her last breath, pretty girl no more.
-V