There’s this story
In my head
Where I lock my heart up
Tight
And you try every key
And can’t get in despite
How hard you try
To let me know
We are meant to be together.
That story is just sweeter
Than not loving me
Forever.

                     -L. Frost

Our souls crossed
And told the lies
We’d be together
But then the cries
Wailed from hearts
Breaking in denial
Who thought
They’d withstand the
Trial of
Time.
Turns out souls don’t wait
They dissipate
And leave the wreckage
Behind.

                       -L.Frost

Despite my desire
To not think about
You
The caged bird
Inside me
Still sings

       -L.Frost

I long for you
To touch me
And set my skin on fire
Inhale my soul
And spread my
Body
With your desire
Take your lips
And part my sins
And dance around
The flames
That have waited
Patiently forever
To be screaming
Out your name.

                    -L.Frost

It’s been five months since you left
which means it’s been nearly half a year
of waiting for you to come back
which is to say that if my heartbreak
were a baby
it would be the size of a papaya
which means nothing
except now I want to cry
at the grocery store
which means I can’t escape you
even in the produce aisle
and I don’t know how to
stop wishing you were with me
all the time

On our first date you told me
you wanted a girl who you could have fun
grocery shopping with
except now I feel sad everywhere
and I’m no fun anywhere
which is probably why you left me
in the first place

Now I spend my nights wondering if
you found a girl with sunshine in her cheeks
and I wonder if she’s brave enough
to sing in the car with you
and maybe she dances in the
produce aisle in the same spot
I stand crying over fruits
and I’m thinking that’s probably
why you left me
not because I cry in public
but because in my mind there was always
someone better
someone more alive
more beautiful
and you got bored of reassuring me
that I was worthy of your time

I don’t know how to tell you
that you make me fall in love
with being alive
so instead I’ll tell you
that since I met you I’ve found
beauty in a rainstorm
and sometimes at night
when I feel so close to giving up
because it would be easier than
missing you
I hold my breath and listen
as rain knocks on my bedroom window
and I’m reminded that the first time
you touched me
lightning coursed through my veins
and brought me back to life
like a kiss in a fairytale
you woke me up when I didn’t know
I was sleeping  

I don’t know how to tell you
that before you
I traveled three frames
behind everyone
as the world sped by
and words fell from lovers mouths
after they had already walked away
I struggled to catch up
with jumbled words
that tumbled through my trembling lips
but I was always too late
so I became mute to save myself
the heartache
and when you came along
I had forgotten how to speak
so I stayed silent
instead of admitting how much
you meant to me

I know that if I were lucky enough
to be heard by you again
I would tell you that I want you
in the most mundane ways
like Sunday mornings with iced coffee
and menthol kisses
—like listening to you sing in the shower
and watching your eyes light up as you laugh
I want summer evenings at the beach
bowling dates and early morning hikes—

I’ve never known how to tell you
that I will always take you for who you are
and what you’ve done
so I tried to show you through
good morning texts
and words of affirmation
but I need to stop assuming
you know what I mean
when I speak in metaphors
so I hope someday my words find you
and you’ll understand that for me
you were never a phase
and I can only dream
that you can still see the rainstorm
you unleashed inside of me
all those months ago

I already did my part in coming back home to God.

So can we come back home to each other now?

I brought him more than a book
more than words on a page
I brought him
My heart story

An epic series

I brought him the stories of my life
Before, up to, and including him
And he read it all
Each volume
Understanding and translating clearly

The tragedies
the comedies
the sheer terror and beauty of it all

And in the romance section
Our saga
He read of my
Deep and abiding attraction
Ease of being with him
My devotion to caring for his heart
This soulmate connection
Written so clearly
And dearly
Indelibly inked love
On the pages of my heart

Rivers flowed from my eyes
Into the seed within my heart
I nourish the seed with the well of love
right now I am in a drought
I long to soak in water through my soil
I long to spread my roots through this dry soft land
I long to sow truth
this is my intent
I long to rise up and bloom
I long to open my petals and taste the sunlight
I yearn to bask in the warmth of your rays of love
until we meet again I sleep and dream of you beneath my petals

Wait for me.

I will make it worth your while.

I dream of you

Your face lit with the afternoon sun

Coming into my arms

Smelling of freshness and wonder

To hold your hair in my hands
To taste your lips once again

Wait for me.

My darling.

Please.
Wait.