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Just how I knew it wasn't for long,
Was it the distant look in your eyes,
Or the bitterness in your voice,
Something felt off, something was definitely wrong

You grew distant,
When you were close, you felt far,
I could only wait for it to happen
And it did,

It happened
You said those words like it's meant nothing,
"Let's break up"
It still feels like a nightmare I can't get up from,
I've lost sleep,

Yes it happened
It hurts more than I thought he would, and there's no solace cos everything reminds me of him, I cry to sleep yet get no sleep, this hurts deeper than anyother
It was love at first sight,
Or maybe lust,
Who knows?

Was it obsession?
Or Love
Who knows?

The deep feeling of rejection lies within,
That feeling that tells you all isn't well,
You can't fight it,
You can only wait for it.
I couldn't put the rambled thoughts to words but I hope someone understands the heartbreak
Concrete barriers with trees painted on them?
Buildings with murals of rural landscapes?

I want to paint a grassy field like a parking lot.
I want to carve a cityscape into a cliff face.
I want to dye the sky yellow, jaundice with smog.

Bring the city to country a bit.
Anxiety only makes me sick to my stomach
I don't want to be anxious when it's comes to us
I love the smell of your cologne
I love the sound of your laughter, but not the deep feeling in my guts that tells me you'd one day leave and not look back

Till then I would love to be the woman of your dreams

Anxiety keeps eating me up and I can't tell him, he's the man I love endlessly
When you’re breaking
You have this look in your eye
Of betrayal
Knowing life brought your hopes up
Just to drive you to the ground
And your heart broke into a thousand more pieces.

When you’re breaking
I can see it in your smile
That strong mask you go back to
When you can’t deal with
The weight of the world
on your shoulders.

When you’re breaking
Your mind goes back to default
Telling you you’re alone
And that you have to be alone
Because that’s how you were raised

When you’re breaking
I’m breaking too
I tell you you don’t have to
Go through it alone
I’d walk with you through hell

When you’re breaking
You don’t see how much people care
How much love is there for you
If you only opened your heart
And let me put your pieces back together
Something I wrote abou a year ago because February had always been a bad year for us
I don't know how to start, but I'm sure going to finish,
I'm going round in circles, I might as well start with singing,
I will sing songs, songs of my unending pains,
Tell tales of the time I felt alone, used, abandoned
Tales of when my heart gave away and it hurt continually,
Tales of how I covered up every moment with smiles,
I smiled so beautifully I almost believed it was me,
I wanted to believe I was that happy, but I was dropped.

See I found out something about me,
I get too emotionally attached to people and it comes hunting me,
Almost like everyone is waiting to drop me,
like they all get tired of me at some point,
like I'm really not what people want,
I realized I'm always an option, a not so good friend,
I want to cry but the tears already dried up
I mean I could get up but who wants me,
A little motivation is all I need
who cares die if you can, scream all you can
no one's coming to save you, to save me
I was born this way, prolly would die this way

who exactly am I?
It hurts, my heart is hurting deeply cos everyone I care about sees me as a second choice, an option feels like I'm a nobody... It hurts
What is life?
Could somebody be kind enough to explain,
What is living?
Could anyone be kind enough to show me?
I really need to know, I've lost myself in the process of trying to find myself,
I am dead in the process of trying to live,
The troubles of life has somewhat restricted my airflow,
I choke at every given second, I'm a wandering spirit on the earth with no goal as to where I'm headed,
I have lost all, friends, family and all I could ever boast of
Am I better of dead?
Would I be good if only I do not open this eyes anymore?

Is anyone out here, kind enough to show me what life is?
Is anyone here to explain life to me?
I'm drowning!!!!
I've lost myself in life, why trying to get myself, now I'm a complete stranger in my body, I need help from anyone at all, anyone here to listen to me??
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