i cant stand another tear upon my face
derived from the absence of you

the drops from my eyes
burn holes into my heart
until i am nothing but a numb soul

Don't feel so special

I've been abused,
Forcefully used,
Yet you think you can blow my fuse?
Don't feel so special.

I've hacked & sliced at my own skin,
Barely living,
So thin,
But you worry if you hurt my grin,
Don't feel so special.

You could have called me every bad name under the sun,
shot me with a gun.
But I've hurt me, more than you've ever could.
So don't feel so special.

I don't need closure,
Unless its from stitches,
Mending the pieces I've broke from myself.
But the damage you've done,
Is nothing I haven't done to myself.

So don't feel sorry.
Hold your tears of guilt upon a shelf.
They mean nothing to me,
But only for yourself.

So don't feel so special.
You are nothing but another person who dared to hurt me,
But only hurt themself.

I had a dream
A beauty unlike any other
She had had the eyes of a goddess
That seemed to see thru me
As if I was an open book in front of her
I looked into her eyes
And I couldn't help but smile
As her sweet voice rang in my dream

I had a dream
The only time I felt at peace was next to her
When she held me I could feel all the weight on my shoulders vanish
Atlas reincarnate
Her warmth gave me the feeling of home
And  her sweet voice rang in my dream

I had a dream
She was in tears
My heart fell apart
When I realized I was the cause
My very being trembled
For no reason in the world would make me hurt her
I could feel that my cheeks were wet
When I looked down to see
Her doubting voice rang in this nightmare

I had a dream
I had her in my arms
She felt vulnerable
For someone so strong
Leaning against me for a change
My heart skipped a beat
I felt loved

I'm having a dream
Where home is her
My sweet dream
How much I care for her
How happy I am
How I don't want to wake up
Mon ange hold me forever

It's scary how you can be so madly in love and lose every feeling in a split second

there won't be many shrouded gowns
or tears or tales to tell
above a bed with tiny frowns
to watch my carcass swell

perhaps a friend or cousin
no colleagues from past tense
i'd be shocked to see a dozen
if i don't outlast the 'rents

don't go too far out of way
or bring a spot of gin
just to watch my bones decay
and sorrow o'er my skin

kiss my head or curse or bawl
i won't know whose farewell
staring at a furnace wall
while looking up from hell

for now i'm lying here to show her
i can’t bear without your face
who knows if you'll need closure
i'll be dressed for just in case

i’d have lived for you but only
let's not talk about regrets
i'll wish you'd never known me
but hate to think you might forget

I had
wished
to write
for the one
I cherished,
If only
I had
known
of how  
expression
of oneself
was not
as simple,
to paint the
complex
nature  
of human
feeling and
thoughts in
written form
could not
possibly
be only
held,
for they
are the
clouds
of my
esse
in flight,
even if
the words
were
written,
they remain
unwritten
as the
pages are
endless,
as the  
eyes of
the one
I see
as mine,
I sat
by the
ocean,
the
lantern
of the
sky
rises,
the one
I loved
now
sings,
I ask not
when he
gives,
tears
fall
for the
one
who
was
there
before
my lips
spoke
his name,
always.