Somewhere out in another universe,
I'm 12 years old
and I'm sitting on my bed listening to something through
a hopelessly tangled white headphone string,
flipping through the dog-eared pages
of my favorite book while everyone is sleeping.
The sticky, syrupy air of summer floats through an open window
and nothing bad has happened to me,
no scalding words or hot fingers
etching their prints into my skin.
I haven't menstruated or fallen in love or yet shrunk myself down
or any of the things that made me a woman.
I am warm in my white tank top
and the blue satin shorts with the printed clouds
wondering about trips to the beach
and sticker placements on my new notebook from Borders.
And I hope she's always able to stay like this,
that she never knows of the kinds of stains
that won't wash out of her white tank top.
And that every once in a while,
I might just catch a second of her laughing
from the room next door.
Grief is never linear. Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of your workday thinking of how another you in another universe is doing.
And I really hope that she's doing okay.