TW:b100d, g0re
Nights spent carefully watching as his smile turned to ice
Nights waiting for the call that I knew would not come
A butterfly that grew bright, was fated to fall and die
Leaving behind a world full of flowers and love
From their perspective at least
Nights that echoed from my thoughts racing from his words
Nights that screamed in my ear, the night sky wrinkling in my palms
Nights that I stayed unaware, foggy memories of terror and hurt
Staying at the window, watching for lights, fighting to stay calm
What have I done when his smile had grown too small?
What have I done, when he had filled up his skin and his walls
With drawings I couldn’t stop?
Bl00d is Ill-fated when staining the hands of a civilian
Easily turning a human into a monster that twists behind the mirror
A world full of people but still I thought you were one in a million
Biting back, I thought in a way that didn’t make it any clearer
But yet
The bl00d drips
My fingers become frozen ice that doesn’t feel, a world that seems so unsafe
I don't wait for your breath that has become empty
I had thought it was you all along, but the story is told in many faces
The ink that ran from our eyes were different colors, and I saw mine as black
But I know now it is red like the bl00d in your veins
Spilling out onto the carpet, spilling out of your head
It’s hard not to feel insane
And that smile, I realized, was just carved into your cheeks
The other side of the water, was not just my reflection
It was a strange thing to be seen…

Sometimes I forget who I am
What I look like
I forget what I've done
I forget what the universe thinks of me
Untouchable ;
Is who I am

Arms and legs
Joints and knuckles
Down to cells of my rusty ***** inducing aperture
I am nothing short of a miracle
Still breathing
Still living

No purpose
Not a single use
Just
Alive

patty cake
patty cake
baker's man
in the broken mirror
i slap my own hands
blood trickles down
from my skin
please
let me in
patty cake
patty cake
baker's man
please
be my friend
while you still can

My head
My heart
All says the one thing
Let it go enough is enough

It’s not death I fear,
I would welcome it with an open arms,
Like an old friend I haven’t seen for forever,
Like you would welcome love.
What I am afraid is dying through suffocation
When you are in a room full of smoke,
And you realize that you only have these fumes
That burns your chest with every inhale, to breathe.
When you are choking on ether,
And you can’t really feel it because
There is nothing to choke on.
When you are in a close space
And the hot air you breathe out
is the air you need to breathe in.
When you are drowning in the sea
And you realize there is nothing you can do about it.

Some times I wish this alcohol would end me
So I wouldn't have to worry about that time
That I almost did it myself
And how I wish
I would have followed through

Your so selfish!
How could you leave me!
Why am I the one being punished?
How dare you do that on that tree...
The one that held your cold body.
The one that witnessed your last exhale.
The one that was in the eyes of somebody.
Somebody that immediately turned pale.
Their stomach dropped,
and tears filled their eyes.
They broke down.
To the ground.
And shivered as the false hope left their body.
Your so selfish.
What about me....
How dare you.