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Cynthia Jan 2019
"Hello? Yes? Are you-"
Hang up
What?
Hang up!
No!
Shut up,
Sit down,
Don't talk.
Uhh...

"Never mind,
Sorry to bother,
I'll just,
Leave..."
What the hell,
Anxiety?!

Just looking out,
For what might happen,
If you stumble or stutter,
What would they think? Imagine!

But if you do this,
Every time I talk,
I won't have anyone,
To help me out!

"Hey, we're having a party,
Wanna come over and have fun?"
"That would be great- "
NO!
WAIT!
"But... Err, I have some work,
That needs to be done"

Again, really?
Now what may the problem be?
It's just, so many people!
So much danger!
Urgh, I hate you Anxiety.
I don't think I have anxiety but I hate social gatherings and having to talk to strangers, sometimes even friends cause I'm scared of what they might say or think. If there's anyone out there who does have anxiety, know that you're not alone, you aren't repulsive and you wont be friendless forever. There are people out there who are accepting and willing to help.
kk Jan 2019
im unliving. unloving. unlovely, within.
my skin buzzes under
moonlit nights. my fingers dig in.
i ruin myself, over and over.
i peel away
what makes me imperfect,
only to find
that
my sins
always grow back.
i am barely living.
the night peels back
these layers of tentative
satisfaction.
i find my mind naked
underneath the blackness. i lack
the ability to hide.
my barriers are meaningless,
factless,
as they really are.
where do i go to hide from the truth
while under this moonlight?
will i ever be perfect?
will i ever be great?
will i even be good enough?
i know the answer. i know the answer.
and there's nowhere to burrow away from it,
but my fingers find a way.
into my scalp, into my lips,
into my face,
and blood blooms.
i can still feel that.
i can still love that
sharp, stinging, pain.
im back! its been a while, i apologize. im hurting again, unfortunately. i dont know when ill be able to escape from these feelings. maybe never. and i hate that. i want to be okay so badly. this isnt very good, but im just trying to get all of this out, somewhere.
Jamie Lee Nov 2018
My addiction likes to play games with me

I try to hide, but it seeks me

On every occasion, or party

I want to just stay home-

***** it out with a pillow

Till it stops breathing

As I watch too much TV,

Count the drinks on the screen

Like counting sheep

3 pints of *****

2 beers

1 shot of whiskey

I feel myself changing

Between shifts, with no breaks in between

Some work overtime, I hear my addiction breathing-

3 PINTS OF *****

2 BEERS

1 SHOT OF WHISKEY

I would tell you all about it

But it’s a long story,

All guts and no glory

I can only talk about it when I’m drunk

On too early of a morning

Or when my eyes are stuck

On a ceiling fan, when I spin with the room

Words are fluid- like, they used to be

Now my lips are a broken cocoon

The words die behind a prison of teeth

Just old ideas, dead memories

That no one needs to hear or see

Sorry I won’t be seeing you at any parties

Sorry I won’t spill my guts for free

Or wait for you to wave to me

Hit me with the “how are you doing?”
    
Its not that I want to hide from you,

But my anxiety is looking for bullet wounds

Addiction hides in the skin

Of the people across the room

They have been shooting looks at me,

Every eye blinking my direction is lightning

Its striking me; how frightening

How fragile I can be, I’m sorry

Maybe that’s why

I plug myself into a wall

I stitch my mouth shut

And scream through the keyboard

Because I don’t want you to stop reading,

Or stop listening,

Just because

You don’t see me

At parties
TJ Oct 2018
I see you
but you don't see me.

Too afraid to give a hello, a smile, a noticeable notice.

I note everything about you;
your hair
your lips
your clothes
your aura
your everything.

I want to be yours, and you mine.
Though we've never met; isn't it strange?

Love at first sight, or lust at first sight?
Unrequited love, or lovers in a past life?
What could we be, if I just say-

You leave.
When I'm out, I always see interesting people I want to talk to, but every single time, I always get too scared of what they'll think of me, and by the time I get the courage to say something, they're already walking away to live their life.
Sabika Oct 2018
My heart races in the thought of you.
This is not love.
"You're nothing!" I repeat in my mind.
But you're not a machine that I can control.
When I look at you, I stand face to face with life itself.
A breathing replica of all its past in one.
Unpredictable.
Your thoughts hidden from view.
To talk to you is a leap of faith,
a risk that weighs heavy on my mind.
It's so much easier to look at you from afar.
daniellaap Oct 2018
i want to walk away from people,
to go to places, to pick up pebbles
to do the things
i wanna do,
i wanna learn,
i wanna achieve

i don't blame anyone but myself
for the things I have felt
throughout my life,
everyday,
every regret,
every dismay

all these what ifs
kept me puzzled overtime
kept me awake until my eyes droop
the next morning,
the next struggle,
the next challenge

i have never tasted rest
since it started to grow in me
it's a never ending battle
between mind and body,
wants and needs
aspirations and responsibilities
me versus me
Lily Oct 2018
Too many people,
Too many faces, and not
Enough time to breathe.
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